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CHAPTER 6 FRUSTRATION
This reading is also taken from an introductory psychology textbook. It is about an unpleasant feeling that all of us experience from time to time. This feeling is called "frustration.”
PRE-READING DISCUSSION
Getting into the Topic
• Have you ever felt really frustrated? Describe a frustrating experience you had recently.
• How did you react to the situation?
Getting on Overview of the Reading Selection
Scan the reading to complete the headings in the outline.
FRUSTRATION
1.
2.
3.
4.
• People have a different tolerance of pain. Some can tolerate a lot of pain, while others complain when they have a simple headache. Do you have a high tolerance of pain? How about your tolerance of frustration? Do you have a higher tolerance of frustration than the other members of your family?
READ THE SELECTION: FIRST TIME
Read to get a general understanding of each section. Do not stop to look up words in the dictionary.
FRUSTRATION
(1) "The trouble with Ellen is that she's a frustrated actress." "The trouble with Bill is that he's a frustrated athlete." How often do we hear such statements? Time and time again. When women and men cannot satisfy a goal— such as the desire to be an actress or an athlete—they are said to be frustrated. Frustration, it is generally agreed, can often lead to trouble.
(2) To psychologists, the word "frustration," which is so important in the study of the human personality, refers to the blocking of goals and desires by some kind of obstacle. On a very simple level, our goal to get somewhere on time may be blocked or frustrated by a flat tire. On a more complex level, our goal to be an actress or athlete may be blocked or frustrated by a number of possible obstacles.
(3) In everyday language, however, the term "frustration" also refers to the unpleasant feelings that result from the blocking of our goals. That is, it refers to the feelings we experience when something interferes with our wishes, . hopes, plans, and desires.
athlete: person who is trained or skilled in sports
satisfy: reach
obstacle: something that blocks a desire
SOURCES OF FRUSTRATION
(4) Frustration is a universal experience; nobody can possibly go through life without experiencing it many times for many reasons. Our environment is full of events that prevent us from satisfying our goals. Even our own bodies and personalities make frustration inevitable. The possible sources of frustration are usually broken down into four categories:
Physical obstacles—such as a drought that frustrates a farmer's attempts to produce a good crop. Or a broken alarm clock, traffic jam, or flat tire that prevents us from getting to class on time. How many such obstacles there are in the world!
Social circumstances—such as when a person does not return our feelings or affection. Or problems in our society such as discrimination, crime, and unemployment that frustrate our desire for equality, physical security, and economic security.
Personal shortcomings. We may have a desire to dance as well as our friends but have "two left feet." Or we may have a desire to speak a foreign language fluently but lack the necessary persistence.
Conflicts. A conflict occurs when we have two or more goals that cannot be satisfied at the same time. For example, a woman wants to leave college for a year to try painting—but she also wants to please her family by remaining in school. The person in conflict experiences uncertainty, hesitation, and the feeling of being "torn." These feelings are an essential part of conflicts and are what make conflicts such an unpleasant part of life.
inevitable: unavoidable
drought: period of no rain
torn: divided between two things
THE RELATIVE NATURE OF FRUSTRATION
(5) What kinds of physical obstacles, social circumstances, personal shortcomings, and conflicts are likely to be the most frustrating? This is an interesting question to which psychologists have found an interesting answer—which is that frustration is entirely relative.
(6) A classic experiment which illustrates the relative nature of frustration was performed by observing the behaviour of children aged two to five in a playroom that contained only "half toys," such as a telephone without a receiver. Despite the missing parts, the children played quite happily until they saw much better toys in another room. When the children were not allowed to play with the "whole toys," most of them showed signs of extreme frustration. As this experiment shows, what causes frustration is a relative matter. "Half toys" are fun to play with if there is nothing better. When better toys are just beyond reach, the "half toys" are no longer good enough.
(7) Adult frustrations are equally relative. A man may be perfectly happy with his old used car until his neighbour buys a new sports model. A woman may be perfectly content with her job until her friend in the next office gets a promotion. Many people who are quite successful and well liked suffer frustration because a brother or sister is even more successful and popular.
TOLERANCE OF FRUSTRATION
(8) Let us suppose that two individuals find a certain situation equally frustrating. How well will they be able to tolerate this situation? The answer to this question is that it depends on the individuals. Some people can tolerate a great deal of frustration; others find it difficult to tolerate even a little.
(9) Under wartime conditions, while some soldiers break down due to the frustrations of the battlefield, others, in the same situation, seem to find strength they never knew they had. Under more ordinary circumstances, all of us know people who have managed to carry on normal lives despite serious physical handicaps or tragic disappointments, and others who are unable to accept the same frustrations.
REACTIONS TO FRUSTRATION
(10) Frustrations are among life's most unpleasant experiences; they result in anxiety and other disagreeable emotions. To escape from this anxiety, we behave in various ways to relieve our frustrations. Unfortunately, however, some of these behaviours can result in even greater anxiety or stress.
(11) As mentioned earlier, frustration is a universal experience. Reactions to frustration also appear to be universal. That is, we can observe similar reactions in many different kinds of societies. However, certain reactions may not be as socially acceptable in one culture as in another culture. For instance, all people, when frustrated, may respond with anger. However, in some cultures, such as in the Asian culture, anger should not be displayed publicly, while in other cultures displaying anger in front of others is more acceptable. The most common reactions to frustration are the following.
(12) Assertive coping. Any discussion of possible reactions to frustration should begin on a positive note, with what might be called assertive coping. One of our desires has been blocked; we feel bad about this—yet, if we can stay calm, perhaps we can somehow find some way to overcome the obstacle. We can look at the situation as an exercise in problem solving.
(13) Thus, the motorist with a flat tire can get busy changing it or try to find a phone and seek help. The student who wants to be an accountant but is weak in some areas of mathematics can try hard to master these subjects. People frustrated by a bad marriage can try to cope with their problem by seeing a professional counsellor or, if necessary, by ending the marriage.
(14) In all these cases, the emotions produced by the frustration may be extremely unpleasant. However, assertive coping is an attempt to get rid of this frustration in a positive and constructive way. Even though the actions taken to overcome the obstacles may fail, assertive coping is constructive behaviour, and therefore quite different from the others that will now be discussed.
(15) Anger and aggression. Sometimes the reaction to frustration takes the form of aggression. Children frustrated by other children who take their toys often get angry and hit the other children, attacking them with, their fists. Adults are more likely to get into verbal fights, screaming and shouting loudly. These are examples of direct aggression.
(16) However, if the source of frustration cannot be dealt with ' directly, aggression is still likely to result, but
on an innocent bystander instead. For example, a man angry at his demanding and powerful boss goes home and behaves aggressively toward his wife and children. A little girl angry at her parents takes out her aggression on a smaller child or on a pet. These are examples of displaced aggression. However, aggression, whatever form it takes, is essentially an attempt to get rid of the frustration in a negative and destructive way and often leads to even further trouble.
(17) Depression and apathy. Another important reaction to frustration, found in different degrees among different people, is depression. Some psychologists believe that depression results when we become angry with ourselves. We may believe that we are the source of our problems and blame ourselves for being stupid or unlovable. Other psychologists believe that depression usually results from an inability to meet unrealistically high goals. Of course, depression may also result from the loss of a loved one—either because someone has died or no longer returns our love. Whatever its cause, extreme depression may lead to such serious apathy that people live their days in what is commonly called a "blue funk"—so sad and disinterested that they seem to lose all interest in what happens to them and have a difficult time finding energy for the ordinary chores of life.
(18) Withdrawal. Some individuals, when suffering from frustrations, display the kind of behaviour called withdrawal. They try to avoid close contact with other people and any kind of goal-seeking behaviour. We say that such people, like a turtle, have "retreated into a shell" or that they have "quit trying." Rather than making an attempt to face their frustrations and cope with them, these people prefer to escape from them.
(19) Vacillation. Often, when faced with frustration, resulting from conflict, we display the kind of behaviour called vacillation—the tendency to be drawn first toward one possible resolution of the conflict, then toward another. Torn between studying or working and going out with friends, we may change our minds several times. At one moment, we may decide to study, at the next moment, to go out. In an extreme case of vacillation, we may take so long making up our minds that we have very little time left for either of the possibilities.
counsellor: person who gives professional advice
resolution: solution to a conflict
READING CHECK
A. Recall of General Ideas
What do you recall about the general ideas in the reading? Try to answer the questions below. If you can't recall the ideas, scan the reading to find the information.
• Identify four major sources of frustration.
• Describe a person in conflict.
• Identify a positive reaction to frustration.
• Identify four negative reactions.
READ THE SELECTION: SECOND TIME
Read more carefully to get a better understanding of each section. Use the dictionary, only if necessary.
COMPREHENSION EXERCISES
A. True or False
Write true or false and the number of the paragraph(s) that supports your answer. Be prepared to explain your answer.
1. Frustration refers to two things: to the blocking of our desires by an obstacle and to the unpleasant feelings that result.
2. Some people never experience frustration.
3. A conflict involves a single desire.
4. When the children in the experiment were first given "half toys," they cried and showed other signs of frustration.
5. Adult frustrations are not as relative as the frustrations of children.
6. People have almost the same ability to tolerate frustration.
7. The various reactions to frustration are equally acceptable in every culture.
8. Assertive coping is a positive reaction to frustration, even though the person's efforts to cope with the problem may not always succeed.
9. People who behave aggressively always direct their attack at the source of their frustration.
10. Except for assertive coping, the other four behaviours can often lead to trouble.
B. Chart
Complete the chart that lists the major sources of frustration. Fill in the major sources and give an example of each from the text. 'Also give a personal example of each source and be prepared to explain it to the class. Then answer the questions that follow.
SOURCES OF FRUSTRATION
|
Major Sources |
Example from Text |
Your Own Example |
|
1. Physical obstacles |
A flat tire that blocks our need to get to school on time |
|
|
2. |
Crime that blocks our desire to feel physically secure |
|
|
3. Personal shortcomings |
||
|
4. |
• From the reading, you learned that the word "frustration" refers to two things. List them.
TOPICS FOR DISCUSSION AND WRITING
1. "We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails."
This quotation has two parts. Which part expresses the idea of frustration? Explain. Which part expresses the idea of assertive coping? Explain.
2. "If the storm does not break the branch of a tree, it will strengthen it."
In this quotation, the branch of a tree symbolizes man. What does the storm symbolize? Explain how the storm can actually strengthen man.
VOCABULARY EXERCISES
A. Word Forms
Choose the correct word form that completes each sentence. The base form of the word is in bold. For nouns, use singular or plural forms. For verbs, use appropriate verb tenses and passive voice where necessary.
(para 1) 1. frustration (n) to frustrate (v) frustrating, frustrated (adj)
a. Registering for courses can be a very … experience.
b. When David learned that the class he wanted had been cancelled, he felt extremely … .
c. What … him even more was standing in line for an hour at the bookstore.
d. To relieve his …, he went over to his friend's house and listened to music.
(para 10) 2. anxiety (n) anxious (adj) anxiously (adv)
a. When the pilot announced that the plane would be landing late, some passengers became … because they had to catch connecting flights.
b. They began to look at their watches … .
c. The flight attendant relieved their … when she announced that all passengers would be able to make connecting flights.
(para 11) 3. reaction (n) to react (v)
a. How did Maria's parents … when she told them she wanted to study abroad?
b. They had mixed …; they thought it would be a good experience for her, but they said they would miss her terribly.
(para 15) 4. aggression (n) aggressive (adj) aggressively (adv)
a. The young student was sent to see a counsellor because of his … behaviour toward other students.
b. After some counselling, the student began to behave less … .
c. The counsellor believed that the student's … was a reaction to his parents' divorce.
(para 15) 5. anger (n) to anger (v) angry (adj) angrily (adv)
a. Why is it healthier to express your … than to keep it bottled up inside?
b. Cathy gets … very easily.
c. It doesn't take much to … her.
d. The demonstrators in front of the White House were protesting … against the president's economic policies.
B. Other Useful Words
Complete the sentences with an appropriate word from the list. For nouns, use singular or plural forms. For verbs, use appropriate verb tenses.
|
conflict (para 4) to cope with (para 13) |
to relieve (para 10) to vacillate (para 19) |
to withdraw (para 18) constructive (para 14) |
destructive (para 16) |
1. When frustrated, people react in both … and … ways.
2. People will do almost anything to try to … their frustration and other negative feelings.
3. Why do you keep on …? Make up your mind one way or the other.
4. Sometimes people try to escape from frustration by … .
5. The more frustrations you face, the more you learn how to … them.
6. When making career decisions, young people often experience … . They might want the money and prestige of a lawyer or doctor but not the responsibilities.
C. Vocabulary Oral Practice
Practice using the underlined words by answering the questions below.
1. What do you consider your strengths in English? What are your shortcomings? (para 4)
2. When students leave their own culture to live and study in a different culture, certain things are inevitable. For example, it is inevitable that they will become homesick at some point. What else is inevitable? (para 4)
3. Everything is relative. For example, the price of food is relative. To a Japanese, food in the United States is relatively cheap, but to a Chinese, it is relatively expensive. Explain why. Can you give another example of something that is relative? (para 5)
4. What should college students consider when making up their minds about a major? (para 19)
5. The young couple had planned to get married this year but then changed their minds. Give some possible reasons for this. (para 19)
6. Fear can be an obstacle that prevents us from doing things we would like to do. For example, fear of water can prevent us from learning how to swim or sail. Think of another fear and describe why it can be an obstacle. (para 2)
7. Helen Keller was blind, yet she overcame this physical handicap and became a teacher of the blind. Describe a person who has overcome a physical handicap or another kind of obstacle to lead a successful life. (para 12)
8. Some women want to have a career and stay home and raise a family. How can they resolve this conflict? Does this resolution have any disadvantages?
JOURNAL WRITING
Ann Landers is a popular newspaper advice columnist. She receives hundreds of letters a day asking for advice on how to cope with personal problems. She and her staff often discuss the most difficult problems with each other before writing a response.
Below is a letter that was actually written to Ann Landers. Imagine you and your classmates work for Ann Landers. In groups, read the letter from Alice, and discuss the conflict she is facing. Next, share ideas on what advice to give her and why.
Then, in your journal, personally write a letter advising Alice. Make sure you explain the reasons for your advice. After you write your letter, ask your instructor to read Ann Landers' actual response to Alice.
Dear Ann Landers: John and I have been married six years. We have three children. John's parents live two blocks from us. They are good people, not the interfering type, and we all get along fine. The problem is they have few friends and no interests other than our family. Their lives are centred around us and our children. John's company wants him to go to another state as district manager. It would mean a big promotion and a substantial salary increase. My father-in-law says if John will pass it up and remain here, he will make up the financial difference. He says money isn't everything and their lives will be empty without us. Comment please.—Alice