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Pretty Little Liars by Sara Shepard
SPHERE
First published in Great Britain in 2007 by Sphere
Published in the US in 2006 by HarperTempest,
an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers
Copyright © Alloy Entertainment and Sara Shepard, 2006
Produced by Alloy Entertainment
151 West 26th Street, New York, NY 10001
The moral right of the author has been asserted.
All characters and events in this publication, other
than those clearly in the public domain, are fictitious
and any resemblance to real persons,
living or dead, is purely coincidental.
All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced,
stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any
form or by any means, without the prior
permission in writing of the publisher, nor be
otherwise circulated in any form of binding or
cover other than that in which it is published and
without a similar condition including this
condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
A CIP catalogue record for this book
is available from the British Library.
ISBN-13: 978-0-7515-3835-0
ISBN-10: 0-7515-3835-9
Typeset in Sabon by M Rules
Printed and bound in Great Britain by
Clays Ltd, St Ives plc
Sphere
An imprint of
Little, Brown Book Group
Brettenham House
Lancaster Place
London WC2E 7EN
A Member of the Hachette Livre Group of Companies
www.littlebrown.co.uk
For JSW
Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
Benjamin Franklin
How It All Started
Imagine it’s a couple of years ago, the summer between seventh
and eighth grade. You’re tan from lying out next to
your rock-lined pool, you’ve got on your new Juicy sweats
(remember when everybody wore those?), and your mind’s
on your crush, the boy who goes to that other prep school
whose name we won’t mention and who folds jeans at
Abercrombie in the mall. You’re eating your Cocoa Krispies
just how you like ’em – doused in skim milk – and you see
this girl’s face on the side of the milk carton. MISSING. She’s
cute – probably cuter than you – and has a feisty look in her
eyes. You think, Hmm, maybe she likes soggy Cocoa
Krispies too. And you bet she’d think Abercrombie boy was
a hottie as well. You wonder how someone so . . . well, so
much like you went missing. You thought only girls who
entered beauty pageants ended up on the sides of milk cartons.
Well, think again.
Aria Montgomery burrowed her face in her best friend
Alison DiLaurentis’s lawn. ‘Delicious,’ she murmured.
‘Are you smelling the grass?’ Emily Fields called from
1
behind her, pushing the door of her mom’s Volvo wagon
closed with her long, freckly arm.
‘It smells good.’ Aria brushed away her pink-striped hair
and breathed in the warm early-evening air. ‘Like summer.’
Emily waved ’bye to her mom and pulled up the blah
jeans that were hanging on her skinny hips. Emily had been
a competitive swimmer since Tadpole League, and even
though she looked great in a Speedo, she never wore anything
tight or remotely cute like the rest of the girls in her
seventh-grade class. That was because Emily’s parents
insisted that one built character from the inside out.
(Although Emily was pretty certain that being forced to hide
her IRISH GIRLS DO IT BETTER baby tee at the back of her
underwear drawer wasn’t exactly character enhancing.)
‘You guys!’ Alison pirouetted through the front yard. Her
hair was bunched up in a messy ponytail, and she was still
wearing her rolled-up field hockey kilt from the team’s endof-
the-year party that afternoon. Alison was the only seventh
grader to make the JV team and got rides home with the
older Rosewood Day School girls, who blasted Jay-Z from
their Cherokees and sprayed Alison with perfume before
dropping her off so that she wouldn’t smell like the cigarettes
they’d all been smoking.
‘What am I missing?’ called Spencer Hastings, sliding
through a gap in Ali’s hedges to join the others. Spencer lived
next door. She flipped her long, sleek dark-blond ponytail
over her shoulder and took a swig from her purple Nalgene
bottle. Spencer hadn’t made the JV cut with Ali in the fall,
and had to play on the seventh-grade team. She’d been on a
year-long field hockey binge to perfect her game, and the
girls knew she’d been practicing dribbling in the backyard
before they arrived. Spencer hated when anyone was better
at anything than she was. Especially Alison.
2
‘Wait for me!’
They turned to see Hanna Marin climbing out of her
mom’s Mercedes. She stumbled over her tote bag and waved
her chubby arms wildly. Ever since Hanna’s parents had
gotten a divorce last year, she’d been steadily putting on
weight and outgrowing her old clothes. Even though Ali
rolled her eyes, the rest of the girls pretended not to notice.
That’s just what best friends do.
Alison, Aria, Spencer, Emily, and Hanna bonded last year
when their parents volunteered them to work Saturday afternoons
at Rosewood Day School’s charity drive – well, all
except for Spencer, who volunteered herself. Whether or not
Alison knew about the other four, the four knew about
Alison. She was perfect. Beautiful, witty, smart. Popular. Boys
wanted to kiss Alison, and girls – even older ones – wanted to
be her. So the first time Ali laughed at one of Aria’s jokes,
asked Emily a question about swimming, told Hanna her
shirt was adorable, or commented that Spencer’s penmanship
was way neater than her own, they couldn’t help but be,
well . . . dazzled. Before Ali, the girls had felt like pleated,
high-waisted mom jeans – awkward and noticeable for all the
wrong reasons – but then Ali made them feel like the most
perfect-fitting Stella McCartneys that no one could afford.
Now, more than a year later, on the last day of seventh
grade, they weren’t just best friends, they were the girls of
Rosewood Day. A lot had happened to make it that way.
Every sleepover they had, every field trip, had been a new
adventure. Even homeroom had been memorable when they
were together. (Reading a steamy note from the varsity crew
captain to his math tutor over the PA system was now a
Rosewood Day legend.) But there were other things they all
wanted to forget. And there was one secret they couldn’t
even bear to talk about. Ali said that secrets were what
3
bonded their five-way best-friendship together for eternity. If
that was true, they were going to be friends for life.
‘I’m so glad this day is over,’ Alison moaned before gently
pushing Spencer back through the gap in the hedges. ‘Your
barn.’
‘I’m so glad seventh grade is over,’ Aria said as she, Emily,
and Hanna followed Alison and Spencer toward the renovated
barn-turned-guesthouse where Spencer’s older sister,
Melissa, had lived for her junior and senior years of high
school. Fortunately, she’d just graduated and was headed to
Prague this summer, so it was all theirs for the night.
Suddenly they heard a very squeaky voice. ‘Alison! Hey,
Alison! Hey, Spencer!’
Alison turned to the street. ‘Not it,’ she whispered.
‘Not it,’ Spencer, Emily, and Aria quickly followed.
Hanna frowned. ‘Shit.’
It was this game Ali had stolen from her brother, Jason,
who was a senior at Rosewood Day. Jason and his friends
played it at inter-prep school field parties when scoping out
girls. Being the last to call out ‘not it’ meant you had to
entertain the ugly girl for the night while your friends got to
hook up with her hot friends – meaning, essentially, that you
were as lame and unattractive as she was. In Ali’s version,
the girls called ‘not it’ whenever there was anyone ugly,
uncool, or unfortunate near them.
This time, ‘not it’ was for Mona Vanderwaal – a dork
from down the street whose favorite pastime was trying to
befriend Spencer and Alison – and her two freaky friends,
Chassey Bledsoe and Phi Templeton. Chassey was the girl
who’d hacked into the school’s computer system and then
told the principal how to better secure it, and Phi Templeton
went everywhere with a yo-yo – enough said. The three
stared at the girls from the middle of the quiet, suburban
4
road. Mona was perched on her Razor scooter, Chassey was
on a black mountain bike, and Phi was on foot – with her
yo-yo, of course.
‘You guys want to come over and watch Fear Factor?’
Mona called.
‘Sorry,’ Alison simpered. ‘We’re kind of busy.’
Chassey frowned. ‘Don’t you want to see when they eat
the bugs?’
‘Gross!’ Spencer whispered to Aria, who then started pretending
to eat invisible lice off Hanna’s scalp like a monkey.
‘Yeah, I wish we could.’ Alison tilted her head. ‘We’ve
planned this sleepover for a while now. But maybe next
time?’
Mona looked at the sidewalk. ‘Yeah, okay.’
‘See ya.’ Alison turned around, rolling her eyes, and the
other girls did the same.
They crossed through Spencer’s back gate. To their left
was Ali’s neighboring backyard, where her parents were
building a twenty-seat gazebo for their lavish outdoor picnics.
‘Thank God the workers aren’t here,’ Ali said, glancing
at a yellow bulldozer.
Emily stiffened. ‘Have they been saying stuff to you
again?’
‘Easy there, Killer,’ Alison said. The others giggled.
Sometimes they called Emily ‘Killer,’ as in Ali’s personal pit
bull. Emily used to find it funny, too, but lately she wasn’t
laughing along.
The barn was just ahead. It was small and cozy and had a
big window that looked out on Spencer’s large, rambling
farm, which had its very own windmill. Here in Rosewood,
Pennsylvania, a little suburb about twenty miles from
Philadelphia, you were more likely to live in a twenty-fiveroom
farmhouse with a mosaic-tiled pool and hot tub, like
5
Spencer’s house, than in a prefab McMansion. Rosewood
smelled like lilacs and mown grass in the summer and clean
snow and wood stoves in the winter. It was full of lush, tall
pines, acres of rustic family-run farms, and the cutest foxes
and bunnies. It had fabulous shopping and Colonial-era
estates and parks for birthday, graduation, and just-’causewe-
feel-like-it fêtes. And Rosewood boys were gorgeous in
that glowing, healthy, just-stepped-out-of-an-Abercrombiecatalog
way. This was Philadelphia’s Main Line. It was full of
old, noble bloodlines, older money, and practically ancient
scandals.
As they reached the barn, the girls heard giggles coming
from inside. Someone squealed, ‘I said, stop it!’
‘Oh God,’ Spencer moaned. ‘What is she doing here?’
As Spencer peeked through the keyhole, she could see
Melissa, her prim and proper, excellent-at-everything older
sister, and Ian Thomas, her tasty boyfriend, wrestling on the
couch. Spencer kicked at the door with the heel of her shoe,
forcing it open. The barn smelled like moss and slightly
burned popcorn. Melissa turned around.
‘What the fu—?’ she asked. Then she noticed the others
and smiled. ‘Oh, hey guys.’
The girls eyed Spencer. She constantly complained that
Melissa was a venomous super-bitch, so they were always
taken aback when Melissa seemed friendly and sweet.
Ian stood up, stretched, and grinned at Spencer. ‘Hey.’
‘Hi, Ian,’ Spencer replied in a much brighter voice. ‘I
didn’t know you were here.’
‘Yeah you did.’ Ian smiled flirtatiously. ‘You were spying
on us.’
Melissa readjusted her long blond hair and black silk
headband, staring at her sister. ‘So, what’s up?’ she asked, a
little accusingly.
6
‘It’s just . . . I didn’t mean to barge in . . . ,’ Spencer sputtered.
‘But we were supposed to have this place tonight.’
Ian playfully hit Spencer on the arm. ‘I was just messing
with you,’ he teased.
A patch of red crept up her neck. Ian had messy blond
hair, sleepy-looking hazelnut-colored eyes, and totally gropeworthy
stomach muscles.
‘Wow,’ Ali said in a too-loud voice. All heads turned to
her. ‘Melissa, you and Ian make the kuh- yoo-test couple. I’ve
never told you, but I’ve always thought it. Don’t you agree,
Spence?’
Spencer blinked. ‘Um,’ she said quietly.
Melissa stared at Ali for a second, perplexed, and then
turned back to Ian. ‘Can I talk to you outside?’
Ian downed his Corona as the girls watched. They only
ever drank super-secretively from the bottles in their parents’
liquor cabinets. He set the empty bottle down and
offered them a parting grin as he followed Melissa outside.
‘Adieu, ladies.’ He winked before closing the door behind
him.
Alison dusted her hands together. ‘Another problem
solved by Ali D. Are you going to thank me now, Spence?’
Spencer didn’t answer. She was too busy looking out the
barn’s front window. Lightning bugs had begun to light up
the purplish sky.
Hanna walked over to the abandoned popcorn bowl and
took a big handful. ‘Ian’s so hot. He’s, like, hotter than Sean.’
Sean Ackard was one of the cutest guys in their grade and
the subject of Hanna’s constant fantasies.
‘You know what I heard?’ Ali asked, flopping down on
the couch. ‘Sean really likes girls who have good appetites.’
Hanna brightened. ‘Really?’
‘ No. ’ Alison snorted.
7
Hanna slowly dropped the handful of popcorn back into
the bowl.
‘So, girls,’ Ali said. ‘I know the perfect thing we can do.’
‘I hope we’re not streaking again.’ Emily giggled. They’d
done that a month earlier – in the freezing frickin’ cold –
and although Hanna had refused to strip down to less than
her undershirt and day-of-the-week panties, the rest of them
had run through a nearby barren cornfield without a lick
on.
‘ You loved that a little too much,’ Ali murmured. The
smile faded from Emily’s lips. ‘But no – I was leaving this for
the last day of school. I learned how to hypnotize people.’
‘Hypnotize?’ Spencer repeated.
‘Matt’s sister taught me,’ Ali answered, looking at the
framed photos of Melissa and Ian on the mantel. Her
boyfriend of the week, Matt, had the same sandy-colored
hair as Ian.
‘How do you do it?’ Hanna asked.
‘Sorry, she swore me to secrecy,’ Ali said, turning back
around. ‘You want to see if it works?’
Aria frowned, taking a seat on a lavender floor pillow. ‘I
don’t know . . .’
‘Why not?’ Ali’s eyes flickered to a stuffed pig puppet that
was peeking out of Aria’s purple sweater-knit tote bag. Aria
was always carrying around weird things – stuffed animals,
random pages torn out of old novels, postcards of places
she’d never visited.
‘Doesn’t hypnosis make you say stuff you don’t want to
say?’ Aria asked.
‘Is there something you can’t tell us?’ Ali responded. ‘And
why do you still bring that pig puppet everywhere?’ She
pointed at it.
Aria shrugged and pulled the stuffed pig out of her bag.
8
‘My dad got me Pigtunia in Germany. She advises me on my
love life.’ She stuck her hand into the puppet.
‘You’re shoving your hand up its butt!’ Ali squealed and
Emily started to giggle. ‘Besides, why do you want to carry
around something your dad gave you?’
‘It’s not funny,’ Aria snapped, whipping her head around
to face Emily.
Everyone was quiet for a few seconds, and the girls looked
blankly at one another. This had been happening a lot lately:
Someone – usually Ali – mentioned something, and someone
else got upset, but everyone was too shy to ask what in the
world was going on.
Spencer broke the silence. ‘Being hypnotized, um, does
sound sort of sketch.’
‘ You don’t know anything about it,’ Alison said quickly.
‘C’mon. I could do it to you all at once.’
Spencer picked at the waistband of her skirt. Emily blew
air through her teeth. Aria and Hanna exchanged a look.
Ali was always coming up with stuff for them to try – last
summer, it was smoking dandelion seeds to see if they’d
hallucinate, and this past fall they’d gone swimming in
Pecks Pond, even though a dead body was once discovered
there – but the thing was, they often didn’t want to do the
things that Alison made them do. They all loved Ali to
death, but they sometimes hated her too – for bossing them
around and for the spell she’d cast on them. Sometimes in
Ali’s presence, they didn’t feel real, exactly. They felt kind
of like dolls, with Ali arranging their every move. Each of
them wished that, just once, she had the strength to tell Ali
no.
‘Puh- leeeeeze?’ Ali asked. ‘Emily, you want to do it, right?’
‘Um . . .’ Emily’s voice quivered. ‘Well . . .’
‘I’ll do it,’ Hanna butted in.
9
‘Me too,’ Emily said quickly after.
Spencer and Aria reluctantly nodded. Satisfied, Alison
shut off all the lights with a snap and lit several sweetly
scented vanilla votive candles that were on the coffee table.
Then she stood back and hummed.
‘Okay, everyone, just relax,’ she chanted, and the girls
arranged themselves in a circle on the rug. ‘Your heartbeat’s
slowing down. Think calm thoughts. I’m going to count
down from one hundred, and as soon as I touch all of you,
you’ll be in my power.’
‘Spooky.’ Emily laughed shakily.
Alison began. ‘One hundred . . . ninety-nine . . . ninetyeight
. . .’
Twenty-two . . .
Eleven . . .
Five . . .
Four . . .
Three . . .
She touched Aria’s forehead with the fleshiest part of her
thumb. Spencer uncrossed her legs. Aria twitched her left
foot.
‘Two . . .’ She slowly touched Hanna, then Emily, and
then moved toward Spencer. ‘One.’
Spencer’s eyes sprang open before Alison could reach her.
She jumped up and ran to the window.
‘What’re you doing?’ Ali whispered. ‘You’re ruining the
moment.’
‘It’s too dark in here.’ Spencer reached up and opened the
curtains.
‘No.’ Alison lowered her shoulders. ‘It’s got to be dark.
That’s how it works.’
‘C’mon, no it doesn’t.’ The blind stuck; Spencer grunted
to wrench it free.
10
‘No. It does.’
Spencer put her hands on her hips. ‘I want it lighter.
Maybe everyone does.’
Alison looked at the others. They all still had their eyes
closed.
Spencer put her hands on her hips. ‘It doesn’t always have
to be the way you want it, you know.’
Alison barked out a laugh. ‘ Close them!’
Spencer rolled her eyes. ‘God, take a pill.’
‘You think I should take a pill?’ Alison demanded.
Spencer and Alison stared at each other for a few
moments. It was one of those ridiculous fights that could
have been about who saw the new Lacoste polo dress at
Neiman Marcus first or whether honey-colored highlights
looked too brassy, but it was really about something else
entirely. Something way bigger.
Finally, Spencer pointed at the door. ‘Leave.’
‘Fine.’ Alison strode outside.
‘Good!’ But after a few seconds passed, Spencer followed
her. The bluish evening air was still, and there weren’t any
lights on in her family’s main house. It was quiet, too – even
the crickets were quiet – and Spencer could hear herself
breathing. ‘Wait a second!’ she cried after a moment, slamming
the door behind her. ‘Alison!’
But Alison was gone.
When she heard the door slam, Aria opened her eyes. ‘Ali?’
she called. ‘Guys?’ No answer.
She looked around. Hanna and Emily sat like lumps on
the carpet, and the door was open. Aria moved out to the
porch. No one was there. She tiptoed to the edge of Ali’s
property. The woods spread out in front of her and everything
was silent.
11
‘Ali?’ she whispered. Nothing. ‘Spencer?’
Inside, Hanna and Emily rubbed their eyes. ‘I just had the
weirdest dream,’ Emily said. ‘I mean, I guess it was a dream.
It was really quick. Alison fell down this really deep well,
and there were all these giant plants.’
‘That was my dream too!’ Hanna said.
‘It was?’ Emily asked.
Hanna nodded. ‘Well, kind of. There was a big plant in it.
And I think I saw Alison too. It might’ve been her shadow –
but it was definitely her.’
‘Whoa,’ Emily whispered. They stared at each other, their
eyes wide.
‘Guys?’ Aria stepped back through the door. She looked
very pale.
‘Are you okay?’ Emily asked.
‘Where’s Alison?’ Aria creased her forehead. ‘And
Spencer?’
‘We don’t know,’ Hanna said.
Just then, Spencer burst back into the house. All the girls
jumped. ‘What?’ she asked.
‘Where’s Ali?’ Hanna asked quietly.
‘I don’t know,’ Spencer whispered. ‘I thought . . . I don’t
know.’
The girls fell silent. All they could hear were the tree
branches sliding across the windows. It sounded like someone
scraping her long fingernails against a plate.
‘I think I want to go home,’ Emily said.
The next morning, they still hadn’t heard from Alison. The
girls called one another to talk, a four-way call this time
instead of five.
‘Do you think she’s mad at us?’ Hanna asked. ‘She seemed
weird all night.’
12
‘She’s probably at Katy’s,’ Spencer said. Katy was one of
Ali’s field hockey friends.
‘Or maybe she’s with Tiffany – that girl from camp?’ Aria
offered.
‘I’m sure she’s somewhere having fun,’ Emily said quietly.
One by one, they got calls from Mrs. DiLaurentis, asking
if they’d heard from Ali. At first, the girls all covered for her.
It was the unwritten rule: They’d covered for Emily when she
snuck in after her 11 P.M. weekend curfew; they’d fudged the
truth for Spencer when she borrowed Melissa’s Ralph
Lauren duffel coat and then accidentally left it on the seat of
a SEPTA train; and so on. But as each one hung up with
Mrs. DiLaurentis, a sour feeling swelled in her stomach.
Something felt horribly wrong.
That afternoon, Mrs. DiLaurentis called again, this time
in a panic. By that evening, the DiLaurentises had called the
police, and the next morning there were cop cars and news
vans camped out on the DiLaurentises’ normally pristine
front lawn. It was a local news channel’s wet dream: a pretty
rich girl, lost in one of the safest upper-class towns in the
country.
Hanna called Emily after watching the first nightly Ali
news report. ‘Did the police interview you today?’
‘Yeah,’ Emily whispered.
‘Me too. You didn’t tell them about . . .’ She paused.
‘About The Jenna Thing, did you?’
‘No!’ Emily gasped. ‘Why? Do you think they know
something?’
‘No . . . they couldn’t,’ Hanna whispered after a second.
‘We’re the only ones who know. The four of us . . . and
Alison.’
The police questioned the girls – along with practically
everybody from Rosewood, from Ali’s second-grade
13
gymnastics instructor to the guy who’d once sold her
Marlboros at Wawa. It was the summer before eighth grade
and the girls were supposed to be flirting with older boys at
pool parties, eating corn on the cob in one another’s backyards,
and shopping all day at the King James Mall. Instead
they were crying alone in their canopied beds or staring
blankly at their photo-covered walls. Spencer went on a
room-cleaning binge, reviewing what her fight with Ali had
really been about, and thinking of things she knew about Ali
that none of the others did. Hanna spent hours on her bedroom
floor, hiding emptied Cheetos bags under her
mattress. Emily couldn’t stop obsessing over a letter she’d
sent to Ali before she disappeared. Had Ali ever gotten it?
Aria sat at her desk with Pigtunia. Slowly, the girls began
calling one another less frequently. The same thoughts
haunted all four of them, but there wasn’t anything left to
say to one another.
The summer turned into the school year, which turned
into the next summer. Still no Ali. The police continued to
search – but quietly. The media lost interest, heading off to
obsess over a Center City triple homicide. Even the
DiLaurentises moved out of Rosewood almost two and a
half years after Alison disappeared. As for Spencer, Aria,
Emily, and Hanna, something shifted in them, too. Now if
they passed Ali’s old street and glanced at her house, they
didn’t go into insta-cry mode. Instead, they started to feel
something else.
Relief.
Sure, Alison was Alison. She was the shoulder to cry on,
the only one you’d ever want calling up your crush to find
out how he felt about you, and the final word on whether
your new jeans made your butt look big. But the girls were
also afraid of her. Ali knew more about them than anyone
14
else did, including the bad stuff they wanted to bury – just
like a body. It was horrible to think Ali might be dead,
but . . . if she was, at least their secrets were safe.
And they were. For three years, anyway.
15
1
Oranges, Peaches, and Limes, Oh My!
‘Someone finally bought the DiLaurentises’ old house,’ Emily
Fields’s mother said. It was Saturday afternoon, and Mrs.
Fields sat at the kitchen table, bifocals perched on her nose,
calmly doing her bills.
Emily felt the Vanilla Coke she was drinking fizz up her
nose.
‘I think another girl your age moved in,’ Mrs. Fields continued.
‘I was going to drop off that basket today. Maybe
you want to do it instead?’ She pointed to the cellophaned
monstrosity on the counter.
‘God, Mom, no,’ Emily replied. Since she’d retired from
teaching elementary school last year, Emily’s mom had
become the unofficial Rosewood, Pennsylvania, Welcome
Wagon lady. She assembled a million random things – dried
fruit, those flat rubber thingies you use to get jars open,
ceramic chickens (Emily’s mom was chicken-obsessed), a
guide to Rosewood inns, whatever – into a big wicker welcome
basket. She was a prototypical suburban mom, minus
the SUV. She thought they were ostentatious and gas-guzzling,
so she drove an oh-so-practical Volvo wagon instead.
16
Mrs. Fields stood and ran her fingers through Emily’s
chlorine-damaged hair. ‘Would it upset you too much to go
there, sweetie? Maybe I should send Carolyn?’
Emily glanced at her sister Carolyn, who was a year older
and lounging comfortably on the La-Z-Boy in the den watching
Dr. Phil. Emily shook her head. ‘No, it’s fine. I’ll do it.’
Sure, Emily whined sometimes and occasionally rolled her
eyes. But the truth was, if her mom asked, Emily would do
whatever she was supposed to do. She was a nearly straight-
A, four-time state champion butterflyer and hyper-obedient
daughter. Following rules and requests came easily to her.
Plus, deep down she kind of wanted a reason to see
Alison’s house again. While it seemed the rest of Rosewood
had started to move on from Ali’s disappearance three years,
two months, and twelve days ago, Emily hadn’t. Even now,
she couldn’t glance at her seventh-grade yearbook without
wanting to curl up in a ball. Sometimes on rainy days, Emily
still reread Ali’s old notes, which she stored in a shell-top
Adidas shoe box under her bed. She even kept a pair of
Citizens corduroys Ali had let her borrow on a wooden
hanger in her closet, even though they were now way too
small on her. She’d spent the last few lonely years in
Rosewood longing for another friend like Ali, but that probably
wasn’t going to happen. She hadn’t been a perfect
friend, but for all her flaws, Ali was pretty tough to replace.
Emily straightened up and grabbed the Volvo’s keys from
the hook next to the phone. ‘I’ll be back in a little while,’ she
called as she closed the front door behind her.
The first thing she saw when she pulled up to Alison’s old
Victorian home at the top of the leafy street was a huge pile
of trash on the curb and a big sign marked, FREE! Squinting,
she realized that some of it was Alison’s stuff – she
17
recognized Ali’s old, overstuffed white corduroy bedroom
chair. The DiLaurentises had moved away almost nine
months ago. Apparently they’d left some things behind.
She parked behind a giant Bekins moving van and got out
of the Volvo. ‘Whoa,’ she whispered, trying to keep her
bottom lip from trembling. Under the chair, there were several
piles of grimy books. Emily reached down and looked
at the spines. The Red Badge of Courage. The Prince and
the Pauper. She remembered reading them in Mr. Pierce’s
seventh-grade English class, talking about symbolism,
metaphors, and denouement. There were more books
underneath, including some that just looked like old notebooks.
Boxes sat next to the books; they were marked
ALISON’S CLOTHES and ALISON’S OLD PAPERS. Peeking out of a
crate was a blue and red ribbon. Emily pulled at it a little. It
was a sixth-grade swimming medal she’d left at Alison’s
house one day when they’d made up a game called
Olympian Sex Goddesses.
‘You want that?’
Emily shot up. She faced a tall, skinny girl with tawnycolored
skin and wild, black-brown curly hair. The girl wore
a yellow tank top whose strap had slid off her shoulder to
reveal an orange and green bra strap. Emily wasn’t certain,
but she thought she had the same bra at home. It was from
Victoria’s Secret and had little oranges, peaches, and limes
all over the, er, boob parts.
The swimming medal slid out of her hands and clattered
to the ground. ‘Um, no,’ she said, scrambling to pick it up.
‘You can take any of it. See the sign?’
‘No, really, it’s okay.’
The girl stuck out her hand. ‘Maya St. Germain. Just
moved here.’
‘I . . .’ Emily’s words clogged up in her throat. ‘I’m Emily,’
18
she finally managed, taking Maya’s hand and shaking it. It
felt really formal to shake a girl’s hand – Emily wasn’t sure
she’d ever done that before. She felt a little fuzzy. Maybe she
hadn’t eaten enough Honey Nut Cheerios for breakfast?
Maya gestured to the stuff on the ground. ‘Can you
believe all this crap was in my new room? I had to move it all
out myself. It sucked.’
‘Yeah, this all belonged to Alison,’ Emily practically whispered.
Maya stooped down to inspect some of the paperbacks.
She shoved her tank top strap back onto her shoulder. ‘Is she
a friend of yours?’
Emily paused. Is? Maybe Maya hadn’t heard about Ali’s
disappearance? ‘Um, she was. A long time ago. Along with a
bunch of other girls who live around here,’ Emily explained,
leaving out the part about the kidnapping or murder or
whatever might have happened that she couldn’t bear to
imagine. ‘In seventh grade. I’m going into eleventh now at
Rosewood Day.’ School started after this weekend. So did
fall swim practice, which meant three hours of lap swimming
daily. Emily didn’t even want to think about it.
‘I’m going to Rosewood too!’ Maya grinned. She sank
down on Alison’s old corduroy chair, and the springs
squeaked. ‘All my parents talked about on the flight here
was how lucky I am to have gotten into Rosewood and how
different it will be from my school in California. Like, I bet
you guys don’t have Mexican food, right? Or, like, really
good Mexican food, like Cali-Mexican food. We used to
have it in our cafeteria and mmm, it was so good. I’m going
to have to get used to Taco Bell. Their gorditas make me
want to vomit.’
‘Oh.’ Emily smiled. This girl sure talked a lot. ‘Yeah, the
food kind of sucks.’
19
Maya sprang up from the chair. ‘This might be a weird
question since I just met you, but would you mind helping
me carry the rest of these boxes up to my room?’ She
motioned to a few Crate & Barrel boxes sitting at the base of
the truck.
Emily’s eyes widened. Go into Alison’s old room? But it
would be totally rude if she refused, wouldn’t it? ‘Um, sure,’
she said shakily.
The foyer still smelled like Dove soap and potpourri – just
as it had when the DiLaurentises lived here. Emily paused at
the door and waited for Maya to give her instructions, even
though she knew she could find Ali’s old room at the end of
the upstairs hall blindfolded. Moving boxes were everywhere,
and two spindly Italian greyhounds yapped from
behind a gate in the kitchen.
‘Ignore them,’ Maya said, climbing the stairs to her room
and shoving the door open with her terry-covered hip.
Wow, it looks the same, Emily thought as she entered the
bedroom. But the thing was, it didn’t: Maya had put her
queen-size bed in a different corner, she had a huge, flatscreen
computer monitor on her desk, and she’d put up
posters everywhere, covering Alison’s old flowered wallpaper.
But something felt the same, as if Alison’s presence
was still floating here. Emily felt woozy and leaned against
the wall for support.
‘Put it anywhere,’ Maya said. Emily rallied herself to
stand, set her box down at the foot of the bed, and looked
around.
‘I like your posters,’ she said. They were mostly of bands:
M.I.A., Black Eyed Peas, Gwen Stefani in a cheerleading uniform.
‘I love Gwen,’ she added.
‘Yeah,’ Maya said. ‘My boyfriend’s totally obsessed with
her. His name’s Justin. He’s from San Fran, where I’m from.’
20
‘Oh. I’ve got a boyfriend too,’ Emily said. ‘His name’s Ben.’
‘Yeah?’ Maya sat down on her bed. ‘What’s he like?’
Emily tried to conjure up Ben, her boyfriend of four
months. She’d seen him two days ago – they’d watched the
Doom DVD at her house. Emily’s mom was in the other
room, of course, randomly popping in, asking if they needed
anything. They’d been good friends for a while, on the same
year-round swim teams. All their teammates told them they
should go out, so they did. ‘He’s cool.’
‘So why aren’t you friends with the girl who lived here
anymore?’ Maya asked.
Emily pushed her reddish-blond hair behind her ears.
Wow. So Maya really didn’t know about Alison. If Emily
started talking about Ali, though, she might start crying –
which would be weird. She hardly knew this Maya girl. ‘I
grew apart from all my old seventh-grade friends. Everyone
changed a lot, I guess.’
That was an understatement. Of Emily’s other best
friends, Spencer had become a more exaggerated version of
her already hyper-perfect self; Aria’s family had suddenly
moved to Iceland the fall after Ali went missing; and dorkybut-
lovable Hanna had become totally un dorky and
un lovable and was now a total bitch. Hanna and her now
best friend, Mona Vanderwaal, had completely transformed
themselves the summer between eighth and ninth grade.
Emily’s mom had recently seen Hanna going into Wawa, the
local convenience store, and told Emily that Hanna looked
‘sluttier than that Paris Hilton girl.’ Emily had never heard
her mom use the word slutty.
‘I know how growing apart is,’ Maya said, bouncing up
and down on her bed as she sat. ‘Like my boyfriend? He’s so
scared I’m going to ditch him now that we’re on different
coasts. He’s such a big baby.’
21
‘My boyfriend and I are on the swim team, so we see each
other all the time,’ Emily replied, looking for a place to sit
down too. Maybe too much of the time, she thought.
‘You swim?’ Maya asked. She looked Emily up and down,
which made Emily feel a little weird. ‘I bet you’re really
good. You totally have the shoulders.’
‘Oh, I don’t know.’ Emily blushed and leaned against
Maya’s white wooden desk.
‘You do!’ Maya smiled. ‘But . . . if you’re a big jock, does
that mean you’d kill me if I smoked a little weed?’
‘What, right now?’ Emily’s eyes widened. ‘What about
your parents?’
‘They’re at the grocery store. And my brother – he’s here
somewhere, but he won’t care.’ Maya reached under her
mattress for an Altoids tin. She hefted up the window, which
was right next to her bed, pulled out a joint, and lit it. The
smoke curled into the yard and made a hazy cloud around a
large oak tree.
Maya brought the joint back inside. ‘Want a hit?’
Emily had never tried pot in her entire life – she always
thought her parents would somehow know, like by smelling
her hair or forcing her to pee in a cup or something. But as
Maya pulled the joint gracefully from her cherry-frosted lips,
it looked sexy. Emily wanted to look sexy like that too.
‘Um, okay.’ Emily slid closer to Maya and took the joint
from her. Their hands brushed and their eyes met. Maya’s
were green and a little yellow, like a cat’s. Emily’s hand trembled.
She felt nervous, but she put the joint to her mouth and
took a tiny drag, like she was sipping Vanilla Coke through
a straw.
But it didn’t taste like Vanilla Coke. It felt like she’d just
inhaled a whole jar of rotten spices. She hacked an old
man-ish cough.
22
‘Whoa,’ Maya said, taking back the joint. ‘First time?’
Emily couldn’t breathe and just shook her head, gasping.
She wheezed some more, trying to get air into her chest.
Finally she could feel air hitting her lungs again. As Maya
turned her arm, Emily saw a long, white scar running
lengthwise down her wrist. Whoa. It looked a little like an
albino snake on her tan skin. God, she was probably high
already.
Suddenly there was a loud clank. Emily jumped. Then she
heard the clank again. ‘What is that?’ she wheezed.
Maya took another drag and shook her head. ‘The workers.
We’re here for one day and my parents have already
started on the renovations.’ She grinned. ‘You just totally
freaked, like you thought the cops were coming. You been
busted before?’
‘No!’ Emily burst out laughing; it was such a ridiculous
thought.
Maya smiled and exhaled.
‘I should go,’ Emily rasped.
Maya’s face fell. ‘Why?’
Emily shuffled off the bed. ‘I told my mom I’d only stop
over for a minute. But I’ll see you in school Tuesday.’
‘Cool,’ Maya said. ‘Maybe you could show me around?’
Emily smiled. ‘Sure.’
Maya grinned and waved good-bye with three fingers.
‘You know how to find your way out?’
‘I think so.’ Emily took one more look around Ali’s – er,
Maya’s – room, and then stomped down the all-too-familiar
stairs.
It wasn’t until Emily shook her head out in the open air,
passed all of Alison’s old stuff on the curb, and climbed back
into her parents’ car, that she saw the Welcome Wagon
basket on the backseat. Screw it, she thought, wedging the
23
basket between Alison’s old chair and her boxes of books.
Who needs a guide to Rosewood’s inns, anyway? Maya
already lives here.
And Emily was suddenly glad she did.
24
2
Icelandic (and Finnish) Girls Are Easy
‘Omigod, trees. I’m so happy to see big fat trees.’
Aria Montgomery’s fifteen-year-old brother, Michelangelo,
wagged his head out of the family’s Outback window like a
golden retriever. Aria; her parents, Ella and Byron – they
wanted their kids to call them by their first names – and
Mike were al driving back from Philadelphia International
Airport. They’d just gotten off a flight from Reykjavík,
Iceland. Aria’s dad was an art history professor, and the
family had spent the last two years in Iceland while he helped
do research for a TV documentary on Scandinavian art.
Now that they were back, Mike was marveling at the
Pennsylvania cow-country scenery. And that meant . . .
Every. Single. Thing. The 1700s-era stone inn that sold
ornate ceramic vases; the black cows staring dumbly at their
car from behind a wooden roadside fence; the New England
village-style mall that had sprung up since they’d been gone.
Even the dingy twenty-five-year-old Dunkin’ Donuts.
‘Man, I can’t wait to get a Coolata!’ Mike gushed.
Aria groaned. Mike had spent a lonely couple of years in
Iceland – he claimed that all Icelandic boys were ‘pussies
25
who rode small, gay horses’ – but Aria had blossomed. A
new start had been just what she needed at the time, so she
was happy when her dad made the announcement that her
family was moving. It was the fall after Alison went missing,
and her girls had grown far apart, leaving her with no
real friends, just a school full of people she’d known
forever.
Before she left for Europe, Aria would sometimes see boys
look at her from afar, intrigued, but then look away. With
her coltish, ballet-dancer frame, straight black hair, and
pouty lips, Aria knew she was pretty. People were always
saying so, but why didn’t she have a date to the seventhgrade
spring social, then? One of the last times she and
Spencer had hung out – one of the awkward get-togethers
that summer after Ali disappeared – Spencer told Aria she’d
probably get a lot of dates if she just tried to fit in a little bit
more.
But Aria didn’t know how to fit in. Her parents had
drilled it into her head that she was an individual, not a follower
of the herd, and should be herself. Trouble was Aria
wasn’t sure who Aria was. Since turning eleven, she’d tried
out punk Aria, artsy Aria, documentary film Aria, and, right
before they moved, she’d even tried ideal Rosewood girl
Aria, the horse-riding, polo-shirt-wearing, Coach-satcheltoting
girl who was everything Rosewood boys loved but
everything Aria wasn’t. Thankfully, they moved to Iceland
two weeks into that disaster, and in Iceland, everything,
everything, everything changed.
Her father got the job offer in Iceland just after Aria had
started eighth grade, and the family packed up. She suspected
they’d left so quickly because of a secret about her
dad that only she – and Alison DiLaurentis – knew about.
She’d vowed not to think about that again the minute the
26
Icelandair plane took off, and after living in Reykjavík for a
few months, Rosewood became a distant memory. Her parents
seemed to fall back in love and even her totally
provincial brother learned both Icelandic and French. And
Aria fell in love . . . a few times, actually.
So what if Rosewood boys didn’t get kooky Aria?
Icelandic boys – rich, worldly, fascinating Icelandic boys –
sure did. As soon as they moved there, she met a boy
named Hallbjorn. He was seventeen, a DJ, and had three
ponies and the most beautiful bone structure she’d ever
seen. He offered to take her to Iceland’s geysers, and then,
when they saw one burble up and leave a big cloud of
steam, he kissed her. After Hallbjorn was Lars, who liked to
play with her old pig puppet, Pigtunia – the one who
advised Aria on her love life – and took her to the best allnight
dance parties by the harbor. She felt adorable and
sexy in Iceland. There, she became Icelandic Aria, the best
Aria yet. She found her style – a sort of bohemian-hipstergirl
thing, with lots of layers, lace-up boots, and APC jeans,
which she bought on a trip to Paris – read French philosophers,
and traveled on the Eurail with just an outdated map
and a change of underwear.
But now, every Rosewood sight outside the car window
reminded her of the past she wanted to forget. There was
Ferra’s Cheesesteaks, where she spent hours with her
friends in middle school. There was the stone-gated country
club – her parents didn’t belong, but she’d gone with
Spencer, and once, feeling bold, Aria had walked up to her
crush, Noel Kahn, and asked him if he wanted to share an
ice-cream sandwich with her. He turned her down cold, of
course.
And there was the sunny, tree-lined road where Alison
DiLaurentis used to live. As the car paused at the four-way
27
stop sign, Aria stared; she could see it, second house from the
corner. There was a bunch of trash on the curb, but otherwise,
the house was quiet and still. She could look for only
so long before covering her eyes. In Iceland, days would go
by when she could almost forget about Ali, their secrets, and
what had happened. She’d been back in Rosewood for less
than ten minutes, and Aria could practically hear Ali’s voice
at every bend in the road and see her reflection in every
house’s oversize bay window. She slumped down in her seat,
trying not to cry.
Her father continued a few streets down and pulled up to
their old house, a postmodern angry brown box with only
one square window, right in the center – a huge letdown
after their waterfront faded-blue Icelandic row house. Aria
followed her parents inside and they bustled off into separate
rooms. She heard Mike answer his cell phone outside and
she swished her hands through the sparkly floating dust in
the air.
‘Mom!’ Mike ran through the front door. ‘I just talked to
Chad, and he said the first lacrosse tryouts are today.’
‘Lacrosse?’ Ella emerged from the dining room. ‘Right
now?’
‘Yeah,’ Mike said. ‘I’m going!’ He tore up the wroughtiron
staircase to his old bedroom.
‘Aria, honey?’ Her mother’s voice made her turn. ‘Can
you drive him to practice?’
Aria let out a small laugh. ‘Um, Mom? I don’t have my
license.’
‘So? You drove all the time in Reykjavík. The lacrosse
field’s only a couple of miles away, isn’t it? Worst thing,
you’ll hit a cow. Just wait for him until he’s done.’
Aria paused. Her mother already sounded frazzled. She
heard her dad in the kitchen opening and closing cabinets
28
and muttering under his breath. Would her parents love each
other here like they had in Iceland? Or would things go back
to the way they used to be?
‘All right,’ she mumbled. She plopped her bags on the
landing, grabbed the car keys, and slid into the wagon’s front
seat.
Her brother climbed in next to her, amazingly already
dressed in his gear. He punched the netting on his stick
enthusiastically and gave her an evil, knowing smile. ‘Happy
to be back?’
Aria only sighed in response. The entire drive, Mike had
his hands pressed up against the car’s window, shouting
things like, ‘There’s Caleb’s house! They tore down the skate
ramp!’ and ‘Cow poop still smells the same!’ At the vast,
well-mown practice field, she’d barely stopped the car when
Mike opened the door and immediately bolted.
She slid back into the seat, stared up through the sunroof,
and sighed. ‘ Thrilled to be back,’ she murmured. A hot air
balloon floated serenely through the clouds. It used to be
such a delight to see them, but today she focused in on it,
closed one eye, and pretended to crush the balloon between
her thumb and pointer finger.
A bunch of boys in white Nike T-shirts, baggy shorts, and
backward white baseball caps walked slowly past her car
toward the field house. See? Every Rosewood boy was a
carbon copy. Aria blinked. One of them was even wearing
the same Nike University of Pennsylvania T-shirt that Noel
Kahn, the ice-cream sandwich boy she loved in eighth grade,
used to wear. She squinted at the boy’s black wavy hair. Wait.
Was that . . . him? Oh God. It was. Aria couldn’t believe he
was wearing the same T-shirt he wore when he was thirteen.
He probably did it for luck or some other queer jock
superstition.
29
Noel looked quizzically at her, then walked toward her
car and knocked on her window. She rolled it down.
‘You’re that girl that went to the North Pole. Aria, right?
You were Ali D’s friend?’ Noel continued.
Aria’s stomach plummeted. ‘Um,’ she said.
‘No, dude.’ James Freed, the second-hottest boy at
Rosewood, came up behind Noel. ‘She didn’t go to the
North Pole, she went to Finland. You know, like where that
model Svetlana is from. The one who looks like Hanna?’
Aria scratched the back of her head. Hanna? As in, Hanna
Marin?
A whistle blew, and Noel reached into the car to touch
Aria’s arm. ‘You’re going to stay and watch practice, aren’t
you, Finland?’
‘Uh . . . ja,’ Aria said.
‘What’s that, a Finnish sex grunt?’ James grinned.
Aria rolled her eyes. She was pretty sure ja was Finnish for
yes, but of course these guys wouldn’t know that. ‘Have fun
playing with your balls.’ She smiled wearily.
The boys nudged each other, then ran off, flicking their
lacrosse sticks to and fro even before they hit the field. Aria
stared out the window. How ironic. This was the first time
she’d ever been flirty with a boy in Rosewood – especially
Noel – and she didn’t even care.
Through the trees, she could just make out the spire that
belonged to the chapel at Hollis College, the small liberal
arts school where her dad taught. On Hollis’s main street
there was a bar, Snookers. She sat up straighter and checked
her watch. Two-thirty. It might be open. She could go have a
beer or two and find her own fun.
And hey, maybe beer goggles could make even Rosewood
boys look good.
*
30
Where Reykjavík’s bars smelled like freshly brewed lager, old
wood, and French cigarettes, Snookers smelled like a mixture
of dead bodies, festering hot dogs, and sweat. And Snookers,
like everything else in Rosewood, carried memories: One
Friday night, Alison DiLaurentis had dared Aria to go into
Snookers and order a screaming orgasm. Aria had waited in
line behind a bunch of preppie college boys, and when the
bouncer at the door wouldn’t let her in, she cried, ‘But my
screaming orgasm is in there!’ Then she realized what she’d
said and fled back to her friends, who were crouching behind
a car in the parking lot. They all laughed so hard they got the
hiccups.
‘Amstel,’ she said to the bartender after crossing through
the glass-paneled front doors – apparently there was no need
for bouncers at two-thirty on a Saturday. The bartender
looked at her questioningly but then set a pint in front of her
and turned away. Aria took a big sip. It tasted bland and
watery. She spit it back into the glass.
‘You all right there?’
Aria turned. Three stools down was a guy with messy,
blondish hair and ice-blue, Siberian husky eyes. He was nursing
something in a little tumbler.
Aria frowned. ‘Yeah, I forgot how beer tastes here. I’ve
been in Europe for two years. Beer’s better there.’
‘Europe?’ The guy smiled. He had a very cute smile.
‘Where?’
Aria smiled back. ‘Iceland.’
His eyes brightened. ‘I once spent a few nights in
Reykjavík on my way to Amsterdam. There was this huge,
awesome party in the harbor.’
Aria cupped her hands around her pint glass. ‘Yeah,’ she
said, smiling, ‘they have the best parties there.’
‘Were you there for the northern lights?’
31
‘Of course,’ Aria replied. ‘And the midnight sun. We had
these awesome raves in the summer . . . with the best music.’
She looked at his glass. ‘What are you drinking?’
‘Scotch,’ he said, already signaling to the bartender. ‘Want
one?’
She nodded. The guy moved three stools down next to
her. He had nice hands with long fingers and slightly ragged
fingernails. He wore a small button on his corduroy jacket
that said, SMART WOMEN VOTE!
‘So you lived in Iceland?’ He smiled again. ‘Like for a
junior year abroad?’
‘Well, no,’ Aria said. The bartender set the Scotch down
in front of her. She took a big, beer-size gulp. Her throat
and chest immediately sizzled. ‘I was in Iceland
because . . .’
She stopped herself. ‘Yeah, it was my, uh, year abroad.’
Let him think what he wanted.
‘Cool.’ He nodded. ‘Where were you before that?’
She shrugged. ‘Um . . . back here in Rosewood.’ She
smiled and quickly added, ‘But I liked it over there so much
better.’
He nodded. ‘I was really depressed to come back to the
States after Amsterdam.’
‘I cried the whole way home,’ Aria admitted, feeling like
herself – her new, improved Icelandic Aria self – for the first
time since she’d been back. Not only was she talking to a
cute, smart guy about Europe, but this might be the only guy
in Rosewood who didn’t know her as Rosewood Aria – the
weirdo friend of the pretty girl who vanished. ‘So, do you go
to school here?’ she asked.
‘Just graduated.’ He wiped his mouth off with a napkin
and lit a Camel. He offered her one from the pack, but she
shook her head. ‘I’m gonna do some teaching.’
32
Aria took another sip of the Scotch and realized she’d finished
it. Wow. ‘I’d like to teach, I think. Once I finish school.
Either that or write plays.’
‘Yeah? Plays? What’s your major?’
‘Um, English?’ The bartender set another Scotch in front
of her.
‘That’s what I’m teaching!’ the guy said. As he said it, he
put his hand on Aria’s knee. Aria was so surprised she
flinched and nearly knocked over her drink. He pulled his
hand away. She blushed.
‘Sorry,’ he said, a little sheepishly. ‘I’m Ezra, by the way.’
‘Aria.’ Suddenly her name sounded hilarious. She giggled,
off balance.
‘Whoa.’ Ezra grabbed her arm to steady her.
Three Scotches later, Aria and Ezra had established that
they’d both met the same old sailor bartender at the Borg
bar in Reykjavík, loved the way bathing in the mineral-rich
blue lagoon hot springs made them feel sleepy, and actually
liked the rotten-egg sulfur smell of the geothermal hot
spring water. Ezra’s eyes were getting bluer by the second.
Aria wanted to ask if he had a girlfriend. She felt warm
inside, and she was pretty sure it wasn’t just from the
Scotch.
‘I kind of have to go to the bathroom,’ Aria said woozily.
Ezra smiled. ‘Can I come?’
Well, that answered the girlfriend question.
‘I mean, uh . . .’ He rubbed the back of his neck. ‘Was that
too forward of me?’ he asked, looking up from under his
knitted eyebrows.
Her brain buzzed. Hooking up with strangers wasn’t
really her thing, at least not in America. But hadn’t she said
she wanted to be Icelandic Aria?
She stood up and took his hand. They stared at each
33
other the whole way to Snookers’ women’s bathroom.
There was toilet paper all over the floor and it smelled even
worse than the rest of the bar, but Aria didn’t care. As Ezra
hoisted her onto the sink and she wrapped her legs around
his waist, all she could smell was his scent – a combination
of Scotch, cinnamon, and sweat – and nothing had ever
smelled sweeter.
As they said in Finland or wherever, ja.
34
3
Hanna’s First Toggle
‘And apparently they were having sex in Bethany’s parents’
bedroom!’
Hanna Marin stared at her best friend, Mona
Vanderwaal, across the table. It was two days before school
started and they were sitting in the King James Mall’s terraced
French-inspired café, Rive Gauche, drinking red wine,
comparing Vogue to Teen Vogue, and gossiping. Mona
always knew the best dirt on people. Hanna took another sip
of wine and noticed a fortysomething guy staring lecherously
at them. A regular Humbert Humbert, Hanna thought, but
didn’t say out loud. Mona wouldn’t get the literary reference,
but just because Hanna was the most sought-after girl at
Rosewood Day didn’t mean she was above sampling the
books on Rosewood Day’s recommended summer reading
list now and then, especially when she was lying out next to
her pool with nothing to do. Besides Lolita looked deliciously dirty.
Mona swiveled around to see who Hanna was looking at.
Her lips twisted up into a naughty smile. ‘We should flash
him.’
35
‘Count of three?’ Hanna’s amber eyes widened.
Mona nodded. On three, the girls slowly pulled up the
hems of their already sky-high minis, revealing their panties.
Humbert’s eyes boggled and he knocked his glass of pinot
noir into the crotch of his khakis. ‘Shit!’ he yelled before he
shot off to the bathroom.
‘Nice,’ Mona said. They threw their napkins on their
uneaten salads and stood to leave.
They’d become friends the summer between eighth and
ninth grade, when they both got cut from Rosewood’s freshman
cheerleading tryouts. Vowing to make the squad the
following year, they decided to lose tons of weight – so they
could be the cute, perky girls that the boys tossed in the air.
But once they got skinny and gorgeous, they decided cheerleading
was passé and the cheerleaders were losers, so they
never bothered trying out for the team again.
Since then, Hanna and Mona shared everything – well,
almost everything. Hanna hadn’t told Mona how she’d lost
weight so quickly – it was too gross to talk about. While
hard-core dieting was sexy and admirable, there was nothing,
nothing glamorous about eating a ton of fatty, greasy,
preferably cheese-filled crap and then puking it all up. But
Hanna was over that bad little habit by now, so it didn’t
really matter.
‘You know that guy had a boner,’ Mona whispered, gathering
the magazines into a pile. ‘What’s Sean gonna think?’
‘He’ll laugh,’ Hanna said.
‘Uh, I don’t think so.’
Hanna shrugged. ‘He might.’
Mona snorted. ‘Yeah, flashing strangers goes well with a
virginity pledge.’
Hanna looked down at her Michael Kors purple wedges.
The virginity pledge. Hanna’s incredibly popular, extra-
36
ordinarily hot boyfriend, Sean Ackard – the boy she’d
lusted over since seventh grade – was behaving a little
strangely lately. He’d always been Mr. All-American Boy
Scout – as in volunteering at the old-age home and serving
turkey to the homeless on Thanksgiving – but last night,
when Hanna, Sean, Mona, and a bunch of other kids were
hanging out in Jim Freed’s cedar hot tub, covertly drinking
Coronas, Sean had taken All-American Boy Scout up a
notch. He’d announced, a little proudly, that he’d signed a
virginity ‘promise’ and vowed not to have sex before marriage.
Everyone, Hanna included, had been too stunned to
respond.
‘He’s not serious,’ Hanna said confidently. How could he
be? A bunch of kids signed the promise; Hanna figured it
was just a passing trend, like those Lance Armstrong
bracelets or Yogalates.
‘You think?’ Mona smirked, brushing her long bangs out
of her eyes. ‘Let’s see what happens at Noel’s party next
Friday.’
Hanna gritted her teeth. It seemed like Mona was laughing
at her. ‘I want to go shopping,’ she said, standing up.
‘How about Tiffany’s?’ Mona asked.
‘Awesome.’
They strolled through the brand-new luxe section of the King
James Mall, which had a Burberry, a Tiffany’s, a Gucci, and
a Coach; smelled of the latest Michael Kors perfume; and
was packed full of pretty back-to-prep-school girls with their
beautiful moms. On a solo shopping trip a few weeks ago,
Hanna had noticed her old friend Spencer Hastings slipping
into the new Kate Spade, and remembered how she used to
special-order an entire season’s worth of nylon shoulder bags
from New York.
37
Hanna felt funny knowing those sorts of details about
someone she wasn’t friends with anymore. And as she
watched Spencer peruse Kate Spade’s leather luggage,
Hanna wondered if Spencer was thinking what she was
thinking: that the mall’s new wing was just the sort of place
Ali DiLaurentis would have loved. Hanna often thought of
all the things Ali had missed – last year’s homecoming bonfire,
Lauren Ryan’s sweet sixteen karaoke party in her
family’s mansion, the return of round-toed shoes, Chanel’s
leather iPod nano holders . . . iPod nanos, in general. But
the biggest thing Ali had missed? Hanna’s makeover, of
course – and it was such a bummer she had. Sometimes,
when Hanna twirled around in front of her full-length
mirror, she pretended that Ali was sitting behind her, critiquing
her outfits the way she used to. Hanna had wasted
so many years being a chubby, clingy loser, but things were
so different now.
She and Mona strode into Tiffany’s; it was full of glass,
chrome, and white lights that made the flawless diamonds
extra shimmery. Mona prowled around the cases and then
raised her eyebrows at Hanna. ‘Maybe a necklace?’
‘What about a charm bracelet?’ Hanna whispered.
‘Perfect.’
They walked to the case and eyed the silver charm
bracelet with the heart-shaped toggle. ‘So pretty,’ Mona
breathed.
‘Interested?’ an elegant older saleswoman asked them.
‘Oh, I don’t know,’ Hanna said.
‘It suits you.’ The woman unlocked the case and felt
around for the bracelet. ‘It’s in all the magazines.’
Hanna nudged Mona. ‘You try it.’
Mona slid it onto her wrist. ‘It’s really beautiful.’ Then the
woman turned to another customer. When she did, Mona
38
slid the bracelet off her wrist and into her pocket. Just like
that.
Hanna mashed her lips together and flagged down
another saleswoman, a honey-blond girl who wore coral lipstick.
‘Can I try that bracelet there, with the round charm?’
‘Sure!’ The girl unlocked the case. ‘I have one of these
myself.’
‘How about the matching earrings, too?’ Hanna pointed
to them.
‘Of course.’
Mona had moved over to the diamonds. Hanna held the
earrings and the bracelet in her hands. Together, they were
$350. Suddenly, a swarm of Japanese girls crowded around
the counter, all pointing at another round-charm bracelet in
the glass case. Hanna scanned the ceilings for cameras and
the doors for detectors.
‘Oh, Hanna, come look at the Lucida!’ Mona called.
Hanna paused. Time slowed down. She slid the bracelet
onto her wrist and then shoved it farther up her sleeve. She
stuck the earrings in her Louis Vuitton cherry-monogrammed
coin purse. Hanna’s heart pounded. This was the best part of
taking stuff: the feeling beforehand. She felt all buzzy and
alive.
Mona waved a diamond ring at her. ‘Doesn’t this look
good on me?’
‘C’mon.’ Hanna grabbed her arm. ‘Let’s go to Coach.’
‘You don’t want to try any on?’ Mona pouted. She always
stalled after she knew Hanna had done the job.
‘Nah,’ Hanna said. ‘Purses are calling our names.’ She felt
the bracelet’s silver chain press gently into her arm. She had
to get out of here while the Japanese girls were still bustling
around the counter. The salesgirl hadn’t even looked back in
her direction.
39
‘All right,’ Mona said dramatically. She handed the ring –
holding it by its diamond, which even Hanna knew you
weren’t supposed to do – back to the saleswoman. ‘These
diamonds are all too small,’ she said. ‘Sorry.’
‘We have others,’ the woman tried.
‘Come on,’ Hanna said, grabbing Mona’s arm.
Her heart hammered as they wove their way through
Tiffany’s. The charm tinkled on her wrist, but she kept her
sleeve pulled down. Hanna was a seasoned pro at this – first
it had been loose candy at the Wawa convenience store, then
CDs from Tower, then baby tees from Ralph Lauren – and
she felt bigger and more badass every time. She shut her eyes
and crossed the threshold, bracing herself for the alarms to
blare.
But nothing did. They were out.
Mona squeezed her hand. ‘Did you get one too?’
‘Of course.’ She flashed the bracelet around her wrist.
‘And these.’ She opened the coin purse and showed Mona
the earrings.
‘Shit.’ Mona’s eyes widened.
Hanna smiled. Sometimes it felt so good to one-up your
best friend. Not wanting to jinx it, she walked quickly away
from Tiffany’s and listened for someone to come chasing
after them. The only noise, though, was the burbling of the
fountain and a Muzak version of ‘Oops! I Did It Again.’
Oh yes, I did, Hanna thought.
40
4
Spencer Walks the Plank
‘Honey, you’re not supposed to eat mussels with your hands.
It’s not polite.’
Spencer Hastings looked across the table at her mother,
Veronica, who nervously ran her hands through her perfectly
highlighted ash-blond hair. ‘Sorry,’ Spencer said, picking up
the ridiculously small mussel-eating fork.
‘I really don’t think Melissa should be living in the town
house with all that dust,’ Mrs. Hastings said to her husband,
ignoring Spencer’s apology.
Peter Hastings rolled his neck around. When he wasn’t
practicing law, he was furiously cycling all the back roads of
Rosewood in tight, colorful spandex shirts and bike pants,
shaking his fist at speeding cars. All that cycling gave him
chronically sore shoulders.
‘All that hammering! I don’t know how she’ll get any
studying done,’ Mrs. Hastings went on.
Spencer and her parents were sitting at Moshulu, a restaurant
aboard a clipper ship in the Philadelphia harbor, waiting
for Spencer’s sister, Melissa, to meet them for dinner. It was a
big celebratory dinner because Melissa had graduated from
41
U Penn undergrad a year early and had gotten into Penn’s
Wharton School of Business. The downtown Philly town
house was being renovated as a gift from their parents to
Melissa.
In just two days, Spencer was starting her junior year at
Rosewood and would have to surrender herself to this year’s
jam-packed schedule: five APs, leadership training, charity
drive organizing, yearbook editing, drama tryouts, hockey
practice, and sending in summer program applications ASAP,
since everyone knew that the best way to get into an Ivy was
to get into one of their pre-college summer camps. But there
was one thing Spencer had to look forward to this year:
moving into the converted barn that sat at the back of her
family’s property. According to her parents, it was the perfect
way to prepare for college – just look how well it had worked
for Melissa! Barf. But Spencer was happy to follow in her
sister’s footsteps in this case, since they led out to the tranquil,
light-flooded guesthouse where Spencer could escape her parents
and their constantly barking labradoodles.
The sisters had a quiet yet long-standing rivalry and Spencer
was always losing: Spencer had won the Presidential Physical
Fitness Award four times in elementary school; Melissa had
won it five. Spencer got second place in the seventh-grade
geography bee; Melissa got first. Spencer was on the yearbook
staff, in all of the school plays, and was taking five AP classes
this year; Melissa did all those things her junior year plus
worked at their mother’s horse farm and trained for the
Philadelphia marathon for leukemia research. No matter how
high Spencer’s GPA was or how many extra- curriculars she
smashed into her schedule, she never quite reached Melissa’s
level of perfection.
Spencer picked up another mussel with her fingers and
popped it into her mouth. Her dad loved this restaurant,
42
with its dark wood paneling, thick oriental rugs, and the
heady smells of butter, red wine, and salty air. Sitting among
the masts and sails, it felt like you could jump right overboard
into the harbor. Spencer gazed out across the
Schuylkill River to the big bubbly aquarium in Camden,
New Jersey. A giant party boat decorated with Christmas
lights floated past them. Someone shot a yellow firework off
the front deck. That boat was having way more fun than this
one was having.
‘What’s Melissa’s friend’s name again?’ her mother murmured.
‘I think it’s Wren,’ Spencer said. In her head she added, As
in scrawny bird.
‘She told me he’s studying to be a doctor,’ her mother
swooned. ‘At U Penn.’
‘Of course he is,’ Spencer quietly singsonged. She bit
down hard on a piece of mussel shell and winced. Melissa
was bringing her boyfriend of two months to dinner. The
family hadn’t met him yet – he’d been away visiting family or
something – but Melissa’s boyfriends were all the same: textbook
handsome, well mannered, played golf. Melissa didn’t
have an ounce of creativity in her body and clearly looked
for the same predictability in her boyfriends.
‘Mom!’ a familiar voice called from behind Spencer.
Melissa swooped to the other side of the table and gave
each of her parents a huge kiss. Her look hadn’t changed
since high school: her ash-blond hair was cut bluntly to her
chin, she wore no makeup except for a little foundation,
and she wore a dowdy square-necked yellow dress, a pearlbuttoned
pink cardigan, and semi-cute kitten-heeled shoes.
‘Darling!’ her mother cried.
‘Mom, Dad, here’s Wren.’ Melissa pulled in someone next
to her.
43
Spencer tried to keep her mouth from dropping open.
There was nothing scrawny, birdlike, or textbook about
Wren. He was tall and lanky and wore a beautifully cut
Thomas Pink shirt. His black hair was cut in a long, shaggy,
messy style. He had beautiful skin, high cheekbones, and
almond-shaped eyes.
Wren shook her parents’ hands and sat down at the table.
Melissa asked her mom a question about where to have the
plumber’s bill sent, while Spencer waited to be introduced.
Wren pretended to be really interested in an oversize wineglass.
‘I’m Spencer,’ she said finally. She wondered if her breath
smelled like mussels. ‘The other daughter.’ Spencer nodded
toward the other side of the table. ‘The one they keep in the
basement.’
‘Oh.’ Wren grinned. ‘Cool.’
Was that a British accent she heard? ‘Isn’t it strange they
haven’t asked you a single thing about yourself?’ Spencer
gestured at her parents. Now they were talking about contractors
and the best wood to use for the living room floor.
Wren shrugged, and then whispered, ‘Kinda.’ He winked.
Suddenly Melissa grabbed Wren’s hand. ‘Oh, I see you’ve
met her,’ she cooed.
‘Yeah.’ He smiled. ‘You didn’t tell me you had a sister.’
Of course she hadn’t.
‘So Melissa,’ Mrs. Hastings said. ‘Daddy and I were talking
about where you might be staying while all the
renovations are happening. And I just thought of something.
Why not just come back to Rosewood to live with us for a
few months? You can commute to Penn; you know how easy
it is.’
Melissa wrinkled her nose. Please say no, please say no,
Spencer willed.
44
‘Well.’ Melissa adjusted the strap of her yellow dress. The
more Spencer stared at it, the more the color made Melissa
look like she had the flu. Melissa glanced at Wren. ‘The thing
is . . . Wren and I are going to be moving into the town
house . . . together.’
‘Oh!’ Her mother smiled at both of them. ‘Well . . . I suppose
Wren could stay with us too . . . what do you think,
Peter?’
Spencer had to clutch her boobs to keep her heart from
exploding out of her chest. They were moving in together?
Her sister really had some balls. She could just imagine what
would happen if she dropped a bomb like that. Mom really
would make Spencer live in the basement – or maybe in the
stable. She could set up shop next to the horses’ companion
goat.
‘Well, I suppose that’s all right,’ her father said.
Unbelievable! ‘It’ll certainly be quiet. Mom’s in the stable
most of the day, and of course Spencer will be in school.’
‘You’re in school?’ Wren asked. ‘Where?’
‘She’s in high school,’ Melissa butted in. She stared long at
Spencer, as if she were sizing her up. From Spencer’s tight
ecru Lacoste tennis dress to her long, dark blond wavy hair
to her two-carat diamond earrings. ‘Same high school I went
to. I never asked, Spence – are you president of the class this
year?’
‘VP,’ Spencer mumbled. There was no way Melissa hadn’t
already known that.
‘Oh, aren’t you so happy it worked out that way?’ Melissa
asked.
‘No,’ Spencer said flatly. She’d run for the spot last spring
but had been beaten out and had to take the VP slot. She
hated losing at anything.
Melissa shook her head. ‘You don’t understand, Spence –
45
it’s soooooo much work. When I was president, I barely had
time for anything else!’
‘You do have quite a few activities, Spencer,’ Mrs.
Hastings murmured. ‘There’s yearbook, and all those hockey
games . . .’
‘Besides, Spence, you’ll take over if the president, you
know . . . dies.’ Melissa winked at her as if they were sharing
this joke, which they weren’t.
Melissa turned back to her parents. ‘Mom. I just got the
best idea. What if Wren and I stayed in the barn? Then we’d
be out of your hair.’
Spencer felt as if someone had just kicked her in the
ovaries. The barn?
Mrs. Hastings put her French-manicured finger to her perfectly
lipsticked mouth. ‘Hmm,’ she started. She turned
tentatively to Spencer. ‘Would you be able to wait a few
months, honey? Then the barn will be all yours.’
‘Oh!’ Melissa laid down her fork. ‘I didn’t know you were
going to move in there, Spence! I don’t want to cause
problems—’
‘It’s fine,’ Spencer interrupted, grabbing her glass of ice
water and taking a hearty swallow. She willed herself not to
throw a tantrum in front of her parents and Perfect Melissa.
‘I can wait.’
‘Seriously?’ Melissa asked. ‘That’s so sweet of you!’
Her mother pressed her cold, thin hand against Spencer’s
and beamed. ‘I knew you’d understand.’
‘Can you excuse me?’ Spencer dizzily shoved her seat back
from the table and stood up. ‘I’ll be right back.’ She walked
across the boat’s wooden floor, down the carpeted main
stairs, and out the front entrance. She needed to get to dry
land.
Out on the Penn’s Landing walkway, the Philadelphia
46
skyline glittered. Spencer sat down on a bench and breathed
yoga fire breaths. Then she pulled out her wallet and started
to organize her money. She turned all the ones, fives, and
twenties in the same direction and alphabetized them according
to the long letter-number combination printed in green in
the corners. Doing this always made her feel better. When
she finished, she gazed up at the ship’s dining deck. Her parents
faced the river, so they couldn’t see her. She dug through
her tan Hogan bag for her emergency pack of Marlboros and
lit one.
She took drag after angry drag. Stealing the barn was evil
enough, but doing it in such a polite way was just Melissa’s
style – Melissa had always been outwardly nice but inwardly
horrid. And no one could see it but Spencer.
She’d gotten revenge on Melissa just once, a few weeks
before the end of seventh grade. One evening, Melissa and
her then-boyfriend, Ian Thomas, were studying for finals.
When Ian left, Spencer cornered him outside by his SUV,
which he’d parked behind her family’s row of pine trees.
She’d merely wanted to flirt – Ian was wasting all his hotness
on her plain vanilla, goody-two-shoes sister – so she gave Ian
a peck good-bye on the cheek. But when he pressed her up
against his passenger door, she didn’t try to run away. They
only stopped kissing when his car alarm started to blare.
When Spencer told Alison about it, Ali said it was a pretty
foul thing to do and that she should confess to Melissa.
Spencer suspected Ali was just pissed because they’d had a
running competition all year over who could hook up with
the most older boys, and kissing Ian put Spencer in the lead.
Spencer inhaled sharply. She hated being reminded of that
period of her life. But the DiLaurentises’ old house was right
next door to hers, and one of Ali’s bedroom windows faced
one of Spencer’s – it was like Ali haunted her 24/7. All
47
Spencer had to do was look out her window and there was
seventh-grade Ali, hanging her JV hockey uniform right
where Spencer could see it or strolling around her bedroom
gossiping into her cell phone.
Spencer wanted to think she’d changed a lot since seventh
grade. They’d all been so mean – especially Alison – but not
just Alison. And the worst memory of all was the thing . . .
The Jenna Thing. Thinking of that made Spencer feel so
horrible, she wished she could erase it from her brain like
they did in that movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless
Mind.
‘You shouldn’t be smoking, you know.’
She turned, and there was Wren, standing right next to
her. Spencer looked at him, surprised. ‘What are you doing
down here?’
‘They were . . .’ He opened and closed his hands at each
other, like mouths yapping. ‘And I have a page.’ He pulled
out a BlackBerry.
‘Oh,’ Spencer said. ‘Is that from the hospital? I hear you’re
a big-time doctor.’
‘Well, no, actually, I’m only a first-year med student,’
Wren said, and then pointed at her cigarette. ‘You mind if I
have a bit of that?’
Spencer twisted the corners of her mouth up wryly. ‘You
just told me not to smoke,’ she said, handing it over to him.
‘Yeah, well.’ Wren took a deep drag off the cigarette. ‘You
all right?’
‘Whatever.’ Spencer wasn’t about to talk things over with
her sister’s new live-in boyfriend who’d just stolen her barn.
‘So where are you from?’
‘North London. My Dad’s Korean, though. He moved to
England to go to Oxford and ended up staying. Everyone
asks.’
48
‘Oh. I wasn’t going to,’ Spencer replied, even though she
had thought about it. ‘How’d you and my sister meet?’
‘At Starbucks,’ he answered. ‘She was in line in front of
me.’
‘Oh,’ Spencer said. How incredibly lame.
‘She was buying a latte,’ Wren added, kicking at the stone
curb.
‘That’s nice.’ Spencer fiddled with her pack of cigarettes.
‘This was a few months ago.’ He raggedly took another
drag, his hand shaking a little and his eyes darting around. ‘I
fancied her before she got the town house.’
‘Right,’ Spencer said, realizing he seemed a little nervous.
Maybe he was tense about meeting her parents. Or was it
moving in with Melissa that had him on edge? If Spencer
were a boy and had to move in with Melissa, she’d throw
herself off Moshulu’s crow’s nest into the Schuylkill River.
He handed the cigarette back to her. ‘I hope it’s okay that
I’m going to be staying in your house.’
‘Um, yeah. Whatever.’
Wren licked his lips. ‘Maybe I can get you to kick your
smoking addiction.’
Spencer stiffened. ‘I’m not addicted.’
‘Sure you’re not,’ Wren answered, smiling.
Spencer shook her head emphatically. ‘No, I’d never let
that happen.’ And it was true: Spencer hated feeling out of
control.
Wren smiled. ‘Well, you certainly sound like you know
what you’re doing.’
‘I do.’
‘Are you that way with everything?’ Wren asked, his eyes
shining.
There was something about the light, teasing way he said
it that made Spencer pause. Were they . . . flirting? They
49
stared at each other for a few seconds until a big group of
people came whooshing off the boat onto the street. Spencer
lowered her eyes.
‘So, do you think it’s time we go back?’ Wren asked.
Spencer hesitated and looked at the street, full of taxis,
ready to take her wherever she wanted. She almost wanted
to ask Wren to get in one of the cabs with her and go to a
baseball game at Citizens Bank Park, where they could eat
hot dogs, yell at the players, and count how many strikeouts
the Phillies’ starting pitcher racked up. She could use her
dad’s box seats – they mostly just went to waste, anyway –
and she bet Wren would be into that. Why go back in, when
her family was just going to continue to ignore them? A cab
paused at the light, just a few feet from them. She looked at
it, then back at Wren.
But no, that’d be wrong. And who would fill the vice
president’s post if he died and she was murdered by her own
sister? ‘After you,’ Spencer said, and held the door open for
him so they could climb back aboard.
50
5
Starts and Fitz
‘Hey! Finland!’
On Tuesday, the first day of school, Aria walked quickly
to her first-period English class. She turned to see Noel
Kahn, in his Rosewood Day sweater vest and tie, jogging
toward her. ‘Hey.’ Aria nodded. She kept going.
‘You bolted from our practice the other day,’ Noel said,
sidling up next to her.
‘You expected me to watch?’ Aria looked at him out of
the corner of her eye. He looked flushed.
‘Yeah. We scrimmaged. I scored three goals.’
‘Good for you,’ Aria deadpanned. Was she supposed to be
impressed?
She continued down the Rosewood Day hallway, which
she’d unfortunately dreamed about way too many times in
Iceland. Above her were the same eggshell-white, vaulted
ceilings. Below her were the same farmhouse-cozy wood
floors. To her right and left were the usual framed photos of
stuffy alums, and to her left, incongruous rows of dented
metal lockers. Even the very same song, the 1812 Overture,
hummed through the PA speakers – Rosewood played
51
between-classes music because it was ‘mentally stimulating.’
Sweeping by her were the exact same people Aria had known
for a gazillion years . . . and all of them were staring.
Aria ducked her head. Since she’d moved to Iceland at the
beginning of eighth grade, the last time everyone had seen
her she was part of the grief-stricken group of girls whose
best friend freakishly vanished. Back then, wherever she
went, people were whispering about her.
Now, it felt like she’d never left. And it almost felt like Ali
was still here. Aria’s breath caught in her chest when she saw
a flash of blond ponytail swishing around the corner to the
gym. And when Aria rounded the corner past the pottery
studio, where she and Ali used to meet between classes to
trade gossip, she could almost hear Ali yelling, ‘Hey, wait up!’
She pressed her hand to her forehead to see if she had a fever.
‘So what class do you have first?’ Noel asked, still keeping
pace with her.
She looked at him, surprised, and then down at her schedule.
‘English.’
‘Me too. Mr. Fitz?’
‘Yeah,’ she mumbled. ‘He any good?’
‘Dunno. He’s new. Heard he was a Fulbright Scholar,
though.’
Aria eyed him suspiciously. Since when did Noel Kahn
care about a teacher’s credentials? She turned around a
corner and saw a girl standing in the English room doorway.
She looked familiar and foreign all at the same time. This girl
was model-thin, had long, red-brown hair, and wore a
rolled-up blue plaid Rosewood uniform skirt, purple platform
wedge-heels, and a Tiffany charm bracelet.
Aria’s heart started to pound. She’d worried about how
she might react when she saw her old friends again, and here
was Hanna. What had happened to Hanna?
52
‘Hey,’ Aria said softly.
Hanna turned and looked Aria up and down, from her
long, shaggy haircut to her Rosewood Day white shirt and
chunky Bakelite bracelets to her brown scuffed lace-up
boots. A blank expression crossed her face, but then she
smiled.
‘Omigod!’ Hanna said. At least it was still Hanna’s same
high-pitched voice. ‘How was . . . where were you?
Czechoslovakia?’
‘Um, yeah,’ Aria answered. Close enough.
‘Cool!’ Hanna gave Aria a tight smile.
‘Kirsten looks like she’s gone off South Beach,’ interrupted
a girl next to Hanna. Aria turned her head sideways, trying
to place her. Mona Vanderwaal? The last time Aria saw her,
Mona had put a billion teensy braids in her hair and was
riding her Razor scooter. Now, she looked even more glamorous
than Hanna.
‘Doesn’t she?’ Hanna agreed. She then gave Aria and
Noel – who was still standing there – an apologetic shrug.
‘Sorry, guys, can you excuse us?’
Aria headed into the classroom and fell into the first desk
she saw. She put her head down and took heaving, emotional
breaths.
‘ Hell is other people,’ she chanted. It was her favorite
quote by the French philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre and a perfect
mantra for Rosewood.
She rocked back and forth for a few seconds, in full freakout
mode. The only thing that made her feel better was the
memory of Ezra, that guy she’d met at Snookers. At the bar,
Ezra had followed her into the bathroom, grabbed her face,
and kissed her. Their mouths fit perfectly together – they
didn’t bang teeth once. His hands floated all over the small
of her back, her stomach, her legs. They’d had such a
53
connection. And okay, fine, some might say it was just a . . .
a tongue connection . . . but Aria knew it was more.
She’d felt so overcome thinking about it last night, she’d
written a haiku about Ezra to express her feelings – haikus
were her favorite kind of poem. Then, pleased with how it
turned out, she’d keyed it into her phone and texted it to the
number Ezra had given her.
Aria let out a tortured sigh and looked around the classroom.
It smelled like books and Mop & Glo. The oversize,
four-paned windows faced the south lawn and beyond that,
green rolling hills. A few trees had started to turn yellow
and orange. There was a great Shakespearean sayings
poster next to the blackboard, and a MEAN PEOPLE SUCK
sticker someone had stuck to the wall. It looked like the
janitor had tried to scrape off the sticker but gave up
halfway through.
Was it desperate to text Ezra at 2:30 A.M.? She still hadn’t
heard back from him. Aria felt for her phone in her bag and
pulled it out. The screen read, NEW TEXT MESSAGE. Her stomach
swooped, relieved and excited and nervous all at once.
But as she clicked READ, a voice interrupted her.
‘Excuse me. Um, you can’t use your cell in school.’
Aria covered her phone with her hands and looked up.
Whoever had said it – the new teacher, she guessed – stood
with his back to the rest of the room and was writing on the
chalkboard. Mr. Fitz was all he’d written so far. He was
holding a memo with Rosewood’s insignia on the top. From
the back, he looked young. A few of the other girls in the
class gave him an appreciative once-over as they found seats.
The now-fabulous Hanna even whistled.
‘I know I’m the new guy,’ he went on, writing, AP
English, under his name, ‘but I have this handout from the
front office. Some stuff about no cell phones in school.’ Then
54
he turned. The handout fluttered out of his hand and onto
the linoleum floor.
Aria’s mouth instantly went dry. Standing in front of the
classroom was Ezra from the bar. Ezra, the recipient of her
haiku. Her Ezra, looking lanky and adorable in a
Rosewood jacket and tie, his hair combed, his buttons buttoned
correctly, and a leather-bound lesson planner under his
left arm. Standing at the blackboard and writing . . . Mr. Fitz,
AP English.
He stared at her, his face draining of color. ‘Holy shit.’
The entire class turned around to see who he was looking
at. Aria didn’t want to stare back at them, so she looked
down at her text message.
Aria: Surprise! I wonder what your pig puppet will have to
say about this . . . —A
Holy shit, indeed.
55
6
Emily’s French Too!
Tuesday afternoon, Emily stood in front of her green metal
locker after the final bell of the day had rung. The locker still
had her old stickers from last year – USA Swimming, Liv
Tyler as Arwen the elf, and a magnet that said, COED NAKED
BUTTERFLY. Her boyfriend, Ben, hovered next to her.
‘You want to hit Wawa?’ he asked. His Rosewood swimming
jacket hung loosely off his lanky, muscular body, and
his blond hair was a little messy.
‘Nah, I’m good,’ Emily answered. Because they had practice
at three-thirty after school, the swimmers usually just
stayed at Rosewood and sent someone off to Wawa so they
could get their hoagie/iced tea/Cheats/Reese’s Pieces fix
before swimming a billion laps.
A bunch of boys stopped to slap Ben’s hand as they
headed toward the parking lot. Spencer Hastings, who was
in Ben’s history class last year, waved. Emily waved back
before realizing Spencer was looking at Ben, not her. It was
hard to believe that after everything they’d been through
together and all the secrets they shared, they now acted like
strangers.
56
After everyone passed, Ben turned back to her and
frowned. ‘You’ve got your jacket on. You’re not practicing?’
‘Um.’ Emily shut her locker and gave the combination a
spin. ‘You know that girl I’ve been showing around today?
I’m walking her to her house ’cause this is her first day and
all.’
He smirked. ‘Well, aren’t you sweet? Parents of prospective
students pay for tours, but you’re doing it for free.’
‘Come on.’ Emily smiled uneasily. ‘It’s like a ten-minute
walk.’
Ben looked at her, vaguely nodding for a little while.
‘What? I’m just trying to be nice!’
‘That’s cool,’ he said, and smiled. He took his eyes off her
to wave at Casey Kirschner, the captain of the boys’ varsity
wrestling team.
Maya appeared a minute after Ben loped down the side
stairs out to the student parking lot. She wore a white denim
jacket over her Rosewood oxford shirt and Oakley flip-flops
on her feet. Her toenails weren’t painted. ‘Hey,’ she said.
‘Hey.’ Emily tried to sound bright, but she felt uneasy.
Maybe she should’ve just gone to practice with Ben. Was it
weird to walk Maya home and walk right back?
‘Ready?’ Maya asked.
The girls walked through campus, which was basically a
bunch of very old brick buildings off a twisty back road in
Rosewood. There was even a Gothic clock tower that
chimed out the hours. Earlier, Emily had shown Maya all the
standard stuff that every private school has. She’d also
shown her the cool things about Rosewood Day that you
usually had to discover on your own, like the dangerous
toilet in the girls’ first-floor bathroom that sometimes
spewed up geyser-style, the secret spot on the hill kids went
when they cut gym class (not that Emily ever would), and the
57
school’s only vending machine that sold Vanilla Coke, her
favorite. They’d even developed an inside joke about the
prim, stick-up-her-butt model on the anti-smoking posters
that hung outside the nurse’s office. It felt good to have an
inside joke again.
Now, as they cut through an unused cornfield to Maya’s
neighborhood, Emily took in every detail of her face, from
her turned-up nose to her coffee-colored skin to the way
her collar couldn’t settle right around her neck. Their hands
kept bumping against each other when they swung their
arms.
‘It’s so different here,’ Maya said, sniffing the air. ‘It
smells like Pine-Sol!’ She took off her denim jacket and
rolled up the sleeves of her button-down. Emily pulled at her
hair, wishing it was dark and wavy, like Maya’s, instead of
chlorine-damaged and a slightly greenish shade of reddish
blond. Emily also felt a little self-conscious about her body,
which was strong, muscular, and not as slender as it used to
be. She didn’t usually feel so aware of herself, even when she
was in her swimsuit, which was practically naked.
‘Everyone has stuff they’re really into,’ Maya continued.
‘Like this girl Sarah in my physics class. She’s trying to form
a band, and she asked me to be in it!’
‘Really? What do you play?’
‘Guitar,’ Maya said. ‘My dad taught me. My brother’s
actually a lot better, but whatever.’
‘Wow,’ Emily said. ‘That’s cool.’
‘Omigod!’ Maya grabbed Emily’s arm. Emily flinched at
first but then relaxed. ‘You should join the band too! How
fun would that be? Sarah said we’d practice three days a
week after school. She plays bass.’
‘But all I play is the flute,’ Emily said, realizing she
sounded like Eeyore from Winnie-the-Pooh.
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‘The flute would be awesome!’ Maya clapped her hands.
‘And drums!’
Emily sighed. ‘I really couldn’t. I have swimming, like,
every day after school.’
‘Hmm,’ Maya said. ‘Can’t you skip a day? I bet you’d be
so good at the drums.’
‘My parents would murder me.’ Emily tilted her head and
stared at the old iron railroad bridge above them. Trains
didn’t use the bridge anymore, so now it was mostly a place
for kids to go and get drunk without their parents knowing.
‘Why?’ Maya asked. ‘What’s the big deal?’
Emily paused. What was she supposed to say? That her
parents expected her to keep swimming because scouts from
Stanford were already watching Carolyn’s progress? That her
older brother, Jake, and oldest sister, Beth, were now both at
the University of Arizona on full swimming rides? That anything
less than a swimming scholarship to somewhere
top-notch would be a family failure? Maya wasn’t afraid to
smoke pot when her parents were buying groceries. Emily’s
parents, by comparison, seemed like old, conservative, controlling
East Coast suburbanites. Which they were. But still.
‘This is a shorter way home.’ Emily gestured across the
street, to the large colonial house’s lawn she and her friends
used to cut through on winter days to get to Ali’s house
faster.
They started up through the grass, avoiding a sprinkler
spraying the hydrangea bushes. As they pushed through the
brambly tree branches to Maya’s backyard, Emily stopped
short. A small, guttural noise escaped her throat.
She hadn’t been in this backyard – Ali’s old backyard – in
ages. There, across the lawn, was the teak deck where she
and Ali had played countless games of Spit. There was the
worn patch of grass where they’d hooked up Ali’s thick
59
white iPod to speakers and had dance parties. To her left was
the familiar knotty oak tree. The tree house was gone, but
carved in the bark on the trunk were the initials: EF + AD –
Emily Fields + Alison DiLaurentis. Her face flushed. At the
time, Emily hadn’t known why she carved their names into
the bark; she’d just wanted to show Ali how happy she was
that they were friends.
Maya, who had walked on ahead of her, looked over her
shoulder. ‘You okay?’
Emily shoved her hands into her jacket pockets. For a
second, she considered telling Maya about Ali. But a hummingbird
swept past her and she lost her nerve. ‘I’m fine,’ she
said.
‘Do you wanna come in?’ Maya asked.
‘No . . . I . . . I have to go back to school,’ Emily answered.
‘Swimming.’
‘Oh.’ Maya crinkled up her eyes. ‘You didn’t have to walk
me home, silly.’
‘Yeah, but I didn’t want you to get lost.’
‘You’re so cute.’ Maya looped her hands behind her back
and swung her hips back and forth. Emily wondered what
she meant by cute. Was that a California thing?
‘So, well, have fun at swimming,’ Maya said. ‘And thanks
for showing me around today.’
‘Sure.’ Emily stepped forward, and their bodies smushed
together in a hug.
‘Mmm,’ Maya said, squeezing tighter. The girls stepped
back and grinned at each other for a second. Then Maya
leaned forward and kissed Emily on both cheeks. ‘Mwah,
mwah!’ she said. ‘Like the French.’
‘Well, then, I’ll be French too.’ Emily giggled, forgetting
about Ali and the tree for a second. ‘Mwah!’ She kissed
Maya’s smooth left cheek.
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Then Maya kissed her again, on her right cheek, except
now just a teensy bit closer to her mouth. There was no
mwah this time.
Maya’s mouth smelled like banana bubble gum. Emily
jerked back and caught her swimming bag before it slid off
her shoulder. When she looked up, Maya was grinning.
‘I’ll see ya,’ Maya said. ‘Be good.’
Emily folded her towel into her swim bag after practice. The
whole afternoon had been a blur. After Maya skipped into
her house, Emily jogged back to school – as if running would
untangle the jumble of feelings inside her. As she slipped into
the water and swam lap after lap, she saw those haunting initials
on the tree. When Coach blew her whistle and they
practiced starts and turns, she smelled Maya’s banana gum
and heard her fun, easy laugh. Standing at her locker, she
was pretty sure she’d shampooed her hair twice. Most of the
other girls had stayed in the communal showers for longer,
gossiping, but Emily was too spaced out to join them.
As she reached for her T-shirt and jeans, folded neatly on
the shelf in her locker, a note came fluttering out. Emily’s
name was written on the front in plain, unfamiliar handwriting,
and she didn’t recognize the graph notebook paper.
She picked it up off the cold, wet floor.
Hey Em,
Sob! I’ve been replaced! You found another friend to kiss!
—A
Emily curled her toes around the rubber locker room mat
and stopped breathing for a second. She looked around. No
one was looking at her.
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Was this for real?
She stared at the note and tried to think rationally. She
and Maya were out in the open, but no one was around.
And . . . I’ve been replaced? Another friend to kiss?
Emily’s hands trembled. She looked at the signature again.
Laughter from the other swimmers echoed off the walls.
Emily had kissed just one other friend. It was two days
after she carved their initials into that oak tree and just a
week and a half before the end of seventh grade.
Alison.
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7
Spencer’s Got a Tight Posterior (Deltoid)
‘Look at his butt!’
‘Shut up!’ Spencer knocked her friend Kirsten Cullen in
the shin guard with her field hockey stick. They were supposed
to be running defense drills, but they – along with the
rest of the team – were too busy sizing up this year’s new
assistant coach. He was none other than Ian Thomas.
Spencer’s skin prickled with adrenaline. Talk about weird;
she remembered Melissa mentioning that Ian had moved to
California. But then, a lot of people who you wouldn’t
expect ended up back in Rosewood.
‘Your sister was so stupid to break up with him,’ Kirsten
said. ‘He’s so hot.’
‘ Shhh, ’ Spencer answered, giggling. ‘And anyway, my
sister didn’t break up with him. He broke up with her.’
The whistle blew. ‘Get moving!’ Ian called to them, jogging
over. Spencer leaned over to tie her shoe, as if she didn’t
care. She felt his eyes on her.
‘ Spencer? Spencer Hastings?’
Spencer stood up slowly. ‘Oh. Ian, right?’
Ian’s smile was so wide, Spencer was surprised his cheeks
63
didn’t rip. He still had that All-American, I’m-going-to-takeover-
my-father’s-company-at-twenty-five look, but now his
curly hair was a little longer and messier. ‘You’re all grown
up!’ he cried.
‘I guess.’ Spencer shrugged.
Ian ran his hand against the back of his neck. ‘How’s your
sister these days?’
‘Um, she’s good. Graduated early. Going to Wharton.’
Ian bent his head down. ‘And are her boyfriends still hitting
on you?’
Spencer’s mouth dropped open. Before she could answer,
the head coach, Ms. Campbell, blew her whistle and called
Ian over.
Kirsten grabbed Spencer’s arm once his back was turned.
‘You totally hooked up with him, didn’t you?’
‘Shut up!’ Spencer shot back.
As Ian jogged to center field, he glanced back at her over
his shoulder. Spencer drew in her breath and leaned over to
examine her cleat. She didn’t want him to know she’d been
staring.
By the time she got home from practice, every part of
Spencer’s body hurt, from her ass to her shoulders to her
little toes. She’d spent the whole summer organizing committees,
boning up on SAT words, and playing the lead in
three different plays at Muesli, Rosewood’s community theater
– Miss Jean Brodie in The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie,
Emily in Our Town, and Ophelia in Hamlet. With all that, she hadn’t had time to keep in top shape for field hockey,
and she was feeling it now.
All she wanted to do was go upstairs, crawl into bed, and
not think about tomorrow and what another overachieving
day would hold: French club breakfast, reading the morning
64
announcements, five AP classes, drama tryouts, a quick
appearance at yearbook committee, and another grueling
field hockey practice with Ian.
She opened the mailbox at the bottom of their private
drive, hoping to find the scores for her PSATs. They were
supposed to be in any day now, and she’d had a good feeling
about them – a better feeling, in fact, than she’d ever had
about any other test. Unfortunately, there were just a pile of
bills, info from her dad’s many investment accounts, and a
brochure addressed to Ms. Spencer J (for Jill) Hastings from
Appleboro College in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. Yeah, as if
she’d go there.
Inside the house, she put the mail on the marble-topped
kitchen island, rubbed her shoulder, and had a thought: The
backyard hot tub. A relaxing soak. Awww, yeah.
She greeted Rufus and Beatrice, the family’s two labradoodles,
and threw a couple of King Kong toys out into the
yard for them to chase. Then she dragged herself along the
flagstone path toward the pool’s changing room. Pausing at
the door, ready to shower and change into her bikini, she
realized, Who cares? She was too tired to change, and
nobody was home. And the hot tub was surrounded by rose
bushes. As she approached, it burbled, as if anticipating her
arrival. She stripped down to her bra, undies, and tall field
hockey socks, did a deep forward bend to loosen up her
back, and climbed into the steaming tub. Now that was
more like it.
‘Oh.’
Spencer turned. Wren stood next to the roses, naked to
the waist, wearing the sexiest boxer brief Polo underwear
she’d ever seen.
‘Oops,’ he said, covering himself with a towel. ‘Sorry.’
‘You don’t get here until tomorrow,’ she blurted, even
65
though he was very clearly here, right now, which was
obviously today and not tomorrow at all.
‘We don’t. But your sister and I were at Frou,’ Wren said,
making a little face. Frou was this haughty store a few towns
over that sold single pillowcases for about a thousand dollars.
‘She had to run another errand and told me to play with
myself here.’
Spencer hoped that was just some bizarre English expression.
‘Oh,’ she said.
‘Did you just get home?’
‘I was at field hockey,’ Spencer said, leaning back and
relaxing a little. ‘First practice of the year.’
Spencer glanced at her blurry body under the water. Oh
God, she was still wearing her socks. And her high-waisted,
sweaty panties and Champion sports bra! She kicked herself
for not changing into the yellow Eres bikini she’d just bought
but then realized how absurd that was.
‘So, I was just planning to have a soak, but if you want to
be alone, that’s okay too,’ Wren said. ‘I’ll just go inside and
watch TV.’ He started to turn.
Spencer felt a tiny twinge of disappointment. ‘Um, no,’
she said. He stopped. ‘You can come in. I don’t care.’
Quickly, while his back was turned, she yanked off her socks
and threw them into the bushes. They landed with a soggy
slap.
‘If you’re sure, Spencer,’ Wren said. Spencer loved the way
he said her name with his British accent – Spen- saah.
He shyly slid into the tub. Spencer stayed very far on her
side, curling her legs under her. Wren leaned his head back
on the concrete deck and sighed. Spencer did the same and
tried not to think about how her legs were getting really
cramped and sore in this position. She stretched one tentatively
and touched Wren’s sinewy calf.
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She jerked her leg away. ‘Sorry.’
‘No worries,’ Wren said. ‘So field hockey, huh? I rowed
for Oxford.’
‘Really?’ Spencer said, hoping she didn’t sound too
gushy. Her favorite driving-into-Philadelphia sight was of
the Penn and Temple men’s crew teams rowing on the
Schuylkill River.
‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘I loved it. Do you love field hockey?’
‘Um, not really.’ Spencer took her hair out of its ponytail
and shook her head around but then wondered if
Wren would find this really skanky and ridiculous. She’d
probably imagined the spark between them outside
Moshulu.
But then, Wren had gotten into the hot tub with her.
‘So if you don’t like field hockey, why do you play?’ Wren
asked.
‘Because it looks good on a college application.’
Now Wren sat up a little, making the water ripple. ‘It
does?’
‘Uh, yeah.’
Spencer shifted and winced when her shoulder muscle
cramped into her neck.
‘You okay?’ Wren asked.
‘Yeah, it’s nothing,’ Spencer said, and inexplicably felt an
overwhelming wave of despair. It was only the first day of
school, and she was already burned out. She thought of all
the homework she had to do, lists she had to make, and lines
she had to memorize. She was too busy to freak out, but that
was the only thing keeping her from freaking out.
‘Is it your shoulder?’
‘I think,’ Spencer said, trying to rotate it. ‘In field hockey,
you spend so much time bending over, and I don’t know if I
pulled it or what . . .’
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‘I bet I could fix it for you.’
Spencer stared at him. She suddenly had an urge to run
her fingers through his shaggy hair. ‘That’s okay. Thanks,
though.’
‘Really,’ he said. ‘I’m not going to bite you.’
Spencer hated when people said that.
‘I’m a doctor,’ Wren continued. ‘I bet it’s your posterior
deltoid.’
‘Um, okay . . .’
‘Your shoulder muscle.’ He motioned for her to come
closer. ‘C’mere. Seriously. We just need to soften the muscle.’
Spencer tried not to read into that. He was a doctor, after
all. He was being doctorly. She drifted to him, and he pressed
his hands into the middle of her back. His thumbs dug into
the little muscles around her spine. Spencer closed her eyes.
‘Wow. That’s awesome,’ she murmured.
‘You just have some fluid buildup in your bursa sac,’ he
said. Spencer tried not to giggle at the word sac. When he
reached under her sports bra strap to dig deeper, she swallowed
hard. She tried to think about nonsexual things – her
uncle Daniel’s nose hair, the constipated look her mom got
on her face when she rode a horse, the time her cat, Kitten,
carried a dead mole from the creek out back and left it in her
bedroom. He’s a doctor, she told herself. This is just what doctors do.
‘Your pectorals are a little tight too,’ Wren said, and, horrifyingly,
moved his hand to the front of her body. He slid his
fingers under her bra again, rubbing just above her chest, and
suddenly the bra strap fell off her shoulder. Spencer breathed
in but he didn’t move away. This is a doctor thing, she
reminded herself again. But then she realized: Wren was a
first-year med student. He will be a doctor, she corrected herself.
One day. In about ten years.
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‘Um, where’s my sister?’ she asked quietly.
‘The store, I think? Wawa?’
‘Wawa?’ Spencer jerked away from Wren and pulled her
bra strap back on her shoulder. ‘Wawa’s only a mile away! If
she’s going there, she’s just picking up cigarettes or something.
She’ll be back any minute!’
‘I don’t think she smokes,’ Wren said, tilting his head
questioningly.
‘You know what I mean!’ Spencer stood up in the tub,
grabbed her Ralph Lauren towel, and began violently drying
her hair. She felt so hot. Her skin, bones – even her organs
and nerves – felt like they’d been braised in the hot tub. She
climbed out and fled to the house, in search of a giant glass
of water.
‘Spencer,’ Wren called after her. ‘I didn’t mean to . . . I was
just trying to help.’
But Spencer didn’t listen. She ran up to her room and
looked around. Her stuff was still in boxes, still packed up to
move to the barn. Suddenly she wanted everything organized.
Her jewelry box needed to be sorted by gemstone. Her
computer was clogged with old English papers from two
years ago, and even though they’d gotten A’s back then they
were probably embarrassingly bad and should be deleted.
She stared at the books in the boxes. They needed to be
arranged by subject matter, not by author. Obviously. She
pulled them out and started shelving, starting with Adultery
and The Scarlet Letter.
But by the time she got to Utopias Gone Wrong, she still
didn’t feel any better. So she switched on her computer and
pressed her wireless mouse, which was comfortingly cool, to
the back of her neck.
She clicked on her e-mail and saw an unopened letter. The
subject line read, SAT vocab. Curious, she clicked on it.
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Spencer,
Covet is an easy one. When someone covets something,
they desire and lust after it. Usually it’s something they can’t
have. You’ve always had that problem, though, haven’t
you? —A
Spencer’s stomach seized. She looked around.
Who. The. Fuck. Could. Have. Seen?
She threw open her bedroom’s biggest window, but the
Hastingses’ circular driveway was empty. Spencer looked
around. A few cars swished past. The neighbors’ lawn service
guy was trimming a hedge by their front gate. Her dogs
were chasing each other around the side yard. Some birds
flew to the top of a telephone pole.
Then, something caught her eye in the neighbor’s upstairs
window: a flash of blondish hair. But wasn’t the new family
black? An icy shiver crept up Spencer’s spine. That was Ali’s
old window.
70
8
Where Are the Damn Girl Scouts When
You Need Them?
Hanna sank farther into the squishy cushions of her couch
and tried to unbutton Sean’s Paper Denim jeans.
‘Whoa,’ Sean said. ‘We can’t . . .’
Hanna smiled mysteriously and put a finger to her lips.
She started kissing Sean’s neck. He smelled like Lever 2000
and, strangely, chocolate, and she loved how his recently
buzzed haircut showed off all the sexy angles of his face.
She’d loved him since sixth grade and he’d only gotten handsomer
with each passing year.
As they kissed, Hanna’s mother, Ashley, unlocked the
front door and walked inside, chatting on her teensy LG flip
phone.
Sean recoiled against the couch cushions. ‘She’ll see!’ he
whispered, quickly tucking in his pale blue Lacoste polo.
Hanna shrugged. Her mom waved at them blankly and
walked into the other room. Her mom paid more attention
to her BlackBerry than she did to Hanna. Because of her
work schedule, she and Hanna didn’t bond much, aside from
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periodic checkups on homework, notes on which shops were
running the best sales, and reminders that she should clean
her room in case any of the execs coming to her cocktail
party needed to use the upstairs bathroom. But Hanna was
mostly okay with that. After all, her mom’s job was what
paid Hanna’s AmEx bill – she wasn’t always taking things –
and her pricey tuition at Rosewood Day.
‘I have to go,’ Sean murmured.
‘You should come over on Saturday,’ Hanna purred. ‘My
mom’s going to be at the spa all day.’
‘I’ll see you at Noel’s party on Friday,’ Sean said. ‘And you
know this is hard enough.’
Hanna groaned. ‘It doesn’t have to be so hard,’ she
whined.
He leaned down to kiss her. ‘See you tomorrow.’
After Sean let himself out, she buried her face in the couch
pillow. Dating Sean still felt like a dream. Back when Hanna
was chubby and lame, she’d adored how tall and athletic he
was, how he was always really nice to teachers and kids
who were less cool, and how he dressed well, not like a
color-blind slob. She never stopped liking him, even after
she shed her last few stubborn inches and discovered
defrizzing hair products. So last school year, she casually
whispered to James Freed in study hall that she liked Sean,
and Colleen Rink told her three periods later that Sean was
going to call Hanna on her cell that night after soccer. It was
yet another moment Hanna was pissed Ali wasn’t here to
witness.
They’d been a couple for seven months and Hanna felt
more in love with him than ever. She hadn’t told him yet –
she’d kept that to herself for years – but now, she was pretty sure he loved her too. And wasn’t sex the best way to express
love?
72
That was why the virginity pledge thing made no sense. It
wasn’t as if Sean’s parents were overly religious, and it went
against every preconceived notion Hanna had about guys.
Despite how she used to look, Hanna had to hand it to herself:
With her deep brown hair, curvy body, and flawless –
we’re talking no pimples, ever – skin, she was hot. Who
wouldn’t fall madly in love with her? Sometimes she wondered
if Sean was gay – he did have a lot of nice clothes – or
if he had a fear of vaginas.
Hanna called for her miniature pinscher, Dot, to hop up
on the couch. ‘Did you miss me today?’ she squealed as Dot
licked her hand. Hanna had petitioned to let Dot come to
school in her oversize Prada handbag – all the girls in Beverly
Hills did it, after all – but Rosewood Day said no. So to prevent
separation anxiety, Hanna had bought Dot the
snuggliest Gucci bed money could buy and left QVC on her
bedroom TV during the day.
Her mother strode into the living room, still in her tailored
tweed suit and brown kitten-heel slingbacks. ‘There’s
sushi,’ Ms. Marin said.
Hanna looked up. ‘Toro rolls?’
‘I don’t know. I got a bunch of things.’
Hanna strode into the kitchen, taking in her mom’s laptop
and buzzing LG.
‘What now?’ Ms. Marin barked into the phone.
Dot’s little claws tick-ticked behind Hanna. After searching
through the bag, she settled on one piece of yellowtail
sashimi, one eel roll, and a small bowl of miso soup.
‘Well, I talked to the client this morning,’ her mom went
on. ‘They were happy then.’
Hanna daintily dipped her yellowtail roll into some soy
sauce and flipped breezily through a J. Crew catalog. Her
mom was second-in-command at the Philly advertising firm
73
McManus & Tate, and her goal was to be the firm’s first
woman president.
Besides being extremely successful and ambitious, Ms.
Marin was what most guys at Rosewood Day would call a
MILF – she had long, red-gold hair, smooth skin, and an
incredibly supple body, thanks to her daily Vinyasa yoga
ritual.
Hanna knew her mom wasn’t perfect, but she still didn’t
get why her parents had divorced four years ago, or why her
father quickly began dating an average-looking ER nurse
from Annapolis, Maryland, named Isabel. Talk about trading
down.
Isabel had a teenage daughter, Kate, and Mr. Marin had
said Hanna would just love her. A few months after the
divorce, he’d invited Hanna to Annapolis for the weekend.
Nervous about meeting her quasi-stepsister, Hanna begged
Ali to come along.
‘Don’t worry, Han,’ Ali assured her. ‘We’ll outclass whoever
this Kate girl is.’ When Hanna looked at her,
unconvinced, she reminded Hanna of her signature phrase:
‘I’m Ali and I’m fabulous!’ It sounded almost silly now, but
back then Hanna could only imagine what it would feel like
to be so confident. Having Ali there was like a security blanket
– proof she wasn’t a loser her dad just wanted to get
away from.
The day had been a train wreck, anyway. Kate was the
prettiest girl Hanna had ever met and her dad had basically
called her a pig right in front of Kate. He’d quickly
backpedaled and said it was only a joke, but that was the
very last time she’d seen him . . . and the very first time she
ever made herself throw up.
But Hanna hated thinking about stuff in the past, so she
rarely did. Besides, now Hanna got to ogle her mom’s dates
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in a not so will-you-be-my-new-father? way. And would her
father let Hanna have a 2 A.M. curfew and drink wine, like
her mom did? Doubtful.
Her mom snapped her phone shut and fastened her emerald
green eyes on Hanna. ‘Those are your back-to-school
shoes?’
Hanna stopped chewing. ‘Yeah.’
Ms. Marin nodded. ‘Did you get a lot of compliments?’
Hanna turned her ankle to inspect her purple wedges. Too
afraid to face the Saks security, she’d actually paid for them.
‘Yeah. I did.’
‘Mind if I borrow them?’
‘Um, sure. If you wa—’
Her mom’s phone rang again. She pounced on it. ‘Carson?
Yes. I’ve been looking for you all night . . . What the hell is
going on there?’
Hanna blew at her side-swept bangs and fed Dot a tiny
piece of eel. As Dot spit it out on the floor, the doorbell rang.
Her mother didn’t even flinch. ‘They need it tonight,’ she
said to the phone. ‘It’s your project. Do I have to come down
and hold your hand?’
The doorbell rang again. Dot started barking and her
mother stood to get it. ‘It’s probably those Girl Scouts again.’
The Girl Scouts had come over three days in a row, trying
to sell them cookies at dinnertime. They were rabid in this
neighborhood.
Within seconds, she was back in the kitchen with a young,
brown-haired, green-eyed police officer behind her. ‘This
gentleman says he wants to speak with you.’ A gold pin on
the breast pocket of his uniform read WILDEN.
‘Me?’ Hanna pointed at herself.
‘You’re Hanna Marin?’ Wilden asked. The walkie-talkie
on his belt made a noise.
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Suddenly Hanna realized who this guy was: Darren
Wilden. He’d been a senior at Rosewood when she was in
seventh grade. The Darren Wilden she remembered allegedly
slept with the whole girls’ diving team and was almost
kicked out of school for stealing the principal’s vintage
Ducati motorcycle. But this cop was definitely the same
guy – those green eyes were hard to forget, even if it had
been four years since she’d seen them. Hanna hoped he was
a stripper that Mona had sent over as a joke.
‘What’s this all about?’ Ms. Marin asked, looking longingly
back at her cell phone. ‘Why are you interrupting us at
dinner?’
‘We received a call from Tiffany’s,’ Wilden said. ‘They
have you on tape shoplifting some items from their store.
Tapes from various other mall security cameras tracked you
out of the mall and to your car. We traced the license plate.’
Hanna started pinching the inside of her palm with her
fingernails, something she always did when she felt out of
control.
‘Hanna wouldn’t do that,’ Ms. Marin barked. ‘Would
you, Hanna?’
Hanna opened her mouth to respond but no words came
out. Her heart was banging against her ribs.
‘Look.’ Wilden crossed his arms over his chest. Hanna
noticed the gun on his belt. It looked like a toy. ‘I just need
you to come to the station. Maybe it’s nothing.’
‘I’m sure it’s nothing!’ Ms. Marin said. Then she took her
Fendi wallet out of its matching purse. ‘What will it take for
you to leave us alone to have our dinner?’
‘Ma’am.’ Wilden sounded exasperated. ‘You should just
come down with me. All right? It won’t take all night. I
promise.’ He smiled that sexy Darren Wilden smile that had
probably kept him from getting expelled from Rosewood.
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‘Well,’ Hanna’s mother said. She and Wilden looked at
each other for a long moment. ‘Let me get my bag.’
Wilden turned to Hanna. ‘I’m gonna have to cuff you.’
Hanna gasped. ‘Cuff me?’ Okay, now that was silly. It
sounded fake, like something the six-year-old twins next
door would say to each other. But Wilden pulled out real
steel handcuffs and gently put them around her wrists.
Hanna hoped he didn’t notice that her hands were shaking.
If only this were the moment when Wilden tied her to a
chair, put on that old ’70s song ‘Hot Stuff,’ and stripped off
all his clothes. Unfortunately, it wasn’t.
The police station smelled like burned coffee and very old
wood, because, like most of Rosewood’s municipal buildings,
it was a former railroad baron’s mansion. Cops
fluttered around her, taking phone calls, filling out forms,
and sliding around on their little castor-wheel chairs. Hanna
half expected to see Mona here, too, with her mom’s Dior
stole thrown over her wrists. But from the look of the empty
bench, it seemed Mona hadn’t been caught.
Ms. Marin sat very stiffly next to her. Hanna felt squirmy;
her mom was usually really lenient, but then, Hanna had
never been taken downtown and had the book thrown at her
or whatever.
And then, very quietly, her mom leaned over. ‘What was it
that you took?’
‘Huh?’ Hanna asked.
‘That bracelet you’re wearing?’
Hanna looked down. Perfect. She’d forgotten to take it
off; the bracelet was circling her wrist in full view. She
shoved it farther up her sleeve. She felt her ears for the earrings;
yep, she’d worn them today too. Talk about stupid!
‘Give it to me,’ her mother whispered.
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‘Huh?’ Hanna squeaked.
Ms. Marin held out her palm. ‘Give it here. I can handle
this.’
Reluctantly, Hanna let her mom unfasten the bracelet
from her wrist. Then, Hanna reached up and took off the
earrings and handed them over too. Ms. Marin didn’t even
flinch. She simply dropped the jewelry in her purse and
folded her hands over the metal clasp.
The blond Tiffany’s girl who’d helped Hanna with the
charm bracelet strode into the room. As soon as she saw
Hanna, sitting dejectedly on the bench with the cuffs still on
her hands, she nodded. ‘Yeah. That’s her.’
Darren Wilden glared at Hanna, and her mom stood up.
‘I think there’s been a mistake.’ She walked over to Wilden’s
desk. ‘I misunderstood you at the house. I was with Hanna
that day. We bought that stuff. I have a receipt for it at
home.’
The Tiffany’s girl narrowed her eyes in disbelief. ‘Are you
suggesting I’m lying?’
‘No,’ Ms. Marin said sweetly, ‘I just think you’re confused.’
What was she doing? A gooey, uncomfortable, almostguilty
feeling washed over Hanna.
‘How do you explain the surveillance tapes?’ Wilden
asked.
Her mom paused. Hanna saw a tiny muscle in her neck
quiver. Then, before Hanna could stop her, she reached into
her purse and took out the loot. ‘This was all my fault,’ she
said. ‘Not Hanna’s.’
Ms. Marin turned back to Wilden. ‘Hanna and I had a
fight about these items. I said she couldn’t have them – I
drove her to this. She’ll never do it again. I’ll make sure of it.’
Hanna stared, stunned. She and her mom had never once
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discussed Tiffany’s, let alone something she could or couldn’t
have.
Wilden shook his head. ‘Ma’am, I think your daughter
may need to do some community service. That’s usually the
penalty.’
Ms. Marin blinked, innocently. ‘Can’t we let this slide?
Please?’
Wilden looked at her for a long time, one corner of his
mouth turned up almost devilishly. ‘Sit down,’ he said finally.
‘Let me see what I can do.’
Hanna looked everywhere but in her mom’s direction.
Wilden hunched over his desk. He had a Chief Wiggum figurine
from The Simpsons and a metal Slinky. He licked his
pointer finger to turn the pages of the papers he was filling
out. Hanna flinched. What sort of papers were they? Didn’t
the local newspapers report crimes? This was bad. Very bad.
Hanna jiggled her foot nervously, having a sudden urge
for some Junior Mints. Or maybe cashews. Even the Slim
Jims on Wilden’s desk would do.
She could just see it: Everyone would find out, and she’d
be instantaneously friendless and boyfriendless. From there,
she’d recede back to dorky, seventh-grade Hanna in reverse
evolution. She’d wake up and her hair would be a yucky,
washed-out brown again. Then her teeth would go crooked
and she’d get her braces back on. She wouldn’t be able to fit
into any of her jeans. The rest would happen spontaneously.
She’d spend her life chubby, ugly, miserable, and overlooked,
just the way she used to be.
‘I have some lotion if those are chafing your wrists,’ Ms.
Marin said, gesturing to the cuffs and rooting around in her
purse.
‘I’m okay,’ Hanna replied, brought back to the present.
Sighing, she pulled out her BlackBerry. It was tough
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because her hands were cuffed, but she wanted to convince
Sean that he had to come over to her house this Saturday.
She suddenly really wanted to know he would. As she stared
blankly at the screen, an e-mail popped up in her inbox. She
opened it.
Hey Hanna,
Since prison food makes you fat, you know what Sean’s
gonna say? Not it! —A
She was so startled that she stood up, thinking someone
might be across the room, watching her. But there was no
one. She closed her eyes, trying to think who might have seen
the police car at her house.
Wilden looked up from his writing. ‘You all right?’
‘Um,’ Hanna said. ‘Yeah.’ She slowly sat back down. Not
it? What the hell? She checked the note’s return address
again, but it was just a mess of letters and numbers.
‘Hanna,’ Ms. Marin murmured after a few moments. ‘No
one needs to know about this.’
Hanna blinked. ‘Oh. Yeah. I agree.’
‘Good.’
Hanna swallowed hard. Except . . . someone did know.
80
9
Not Your Typical
Student-Teacher Conference
Wednesday morning, Aria’s father, Byron, rubbed his bushy
black hair and hand-signaled out the Subaru window that he
was making a left-hand turn. The turn signals had stopped
working last night, so he was driving Aria and Mike to their
second day of school and taking the car to the shop.
‘You guys happy to be back in America?’ Byron asked.
Mike, who sat next to Aria in the backseat, grinned.
‘America rocks.’ He went back to maniacally punching the
tiny buttons of his PSP. It made a farting noise and Mike
pumped one fist in the air.
Aria’s father smiled and navigated across the single-lane
stone bridge, waving to a neighbor as he passed. ‘Well, good.
Now, why does it rock?’
‘America rocks because it has lacrosse,’ Mike said, not
taking his eyes off his PSP. ‘And hotter chicks. And a Hooters
in King of Prussia.’
Aria laughed. Like Mike had been inside Hooters.
Unless . . . Oh God, had he?
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She shivered in her kelly green alpaca shrug and stared
out the window at the thick fog. A woman wearing a long,
red hooded stadium jacket that said, UPPER MAIN LINE
SOCCER MOM, tried to stop her German shepherd from
chasing a squirrel across the street. At the corner, two
blondes with high-tech baby carriages stood together
gossiping.
There was one word to describe yesterday’s English class:
brutal. After Ezra blurted out, ‘Holy shit,’ the whole class
turned and stared at her. Hanna Marin, who sat in front of
her, whispered in a not-so-quiet voice, ‘Did you sleep with
the teacher?’ Aria considered, for a half second, that maybe
Hanna had written her the text message about Ezra – Hanna
was one of the few people who knew about Pigtunia. But
why would Hanna care?
Ezra – er, Mr. Fitz – had dispelled the laughing quickly,
and come up with the lamest excuse for swearing in class. He
said, and Aria quoted in her head, ‘I was afraid that a bee
had flown into my pants, and I thought the bee was going to
sting me, and so I yelled out in terror.’
As Ezra then started talking about five-paragraph themes
and the class’s syllabus, Aria couldn’t concentrate. She was
the bee that had flown into his pants. She couldn’t stop looking
at his wolfish eyes and his sumptuous pink mouth. When
he peeked in her direction out of the corner of his eye, her
heart did two and a half somersaults off the high dive and
landed in her stomach.
Ezra was the guy for her, and she was the girl for him –
she just knew it. So what if he was her teacher? There had to be a way to make it work.
Her father pulled up to Rosewood’s stone-gated entrance.
In the distance, Aria noticed a vintage powder-blue
Volkswagen beetle parked in the teacher’s lot. She knew that
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car from Snookers – it was Ezra’s. She checked her watch.
Fifteen minutes until homeroom.
Mike shot out of the car. Aria opened her door as well,
but her father touched her forearm. ‘Hang on a sec,’ he said.
‘But I have to . . .’ She glanced longingly at Ezra’s bug.
‘Just for a minute.’ Her father turned down the radio
volume. Aria slumped back in her seat. ‘You’ve seemed a
little . . .’ He flicked his wrist back and forth uncertainly.
‘You okay?’
Aria shrugged. ‘About what?’
Her father sighed. ‘Well . . . I don’t know. Being back. And
we haven’t talked about . . . you know . . . in a while.’
Aria fidgeted with her jacket’s zipper. ‘What’s there to talk
about?’
Byron stuck a cigarette he’d rolled before they left into his
mouth. ‘I can’t imagine how hard it’s been. Keeping quiet.
But I love you. You know that, right?’
Aria looked out at the parking lot again. ‘Yeah, I know,’
she said. ‘I have to go. I’ll see you at three.’
Before he could answer, Aria shot out of the car, blood
rushing in her ears. How was she supposed to be Icelandic
Aria, who left her past behind, if one of her worst memories
of Rosewood kept bubbling to the surface?
It had happened in May of seventh grade. Rosewood Day
had dismissed the students early for teacher conferences, so
Aria and Ali headed to Sparrow, Hollis campus’s music store,
to search for new CDs. As they cut through a back alley, Aria
noticed her father’s familiar beat-up brown Honda Civic in a
far-off space in an empty parking lot. As Aria and Ali walked
toward the car to leave a note, they realized there was someone
inside. Actually, two someones: Aria’s father, Byron, and
a girl, about twenty years old, kissing his neck.
That’s when Byron looked up and saw Aria. She sprinted
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away before she had to see any more and before he could
stop her. Ali followed Aria all the way back to her house but
didn’t try to stop her when Aria said she wanted to be alone.
Later that night, Byron came up to Aria’s room to explain.
It wasn’t what it looked like, he said. But Aria wasn’t stupid.
Every year her father invited his students over to their house
for get-to-know-you cocktails, and Aria had seen that girl
walk through her very door. Her name was Meredith, Aria
remembered, because Meredith had gotten tipsy and spelled
out her name on the refrigerator in plastic letter magnets.
When Meredith left, instead of shaking her dad’s hand as the
other kids had, she gave him a lingering kiss on his cheek.
Byron begged Aria not to tell her mom. He promised her
it would never happen again. She decided to believe him, and
so she kept his secret. He’d never said so, but Aria believed
Meredith was the reason her dad took his sabbatical when
he did.
You promised yourself you wouldn’t think about it, Aria
thought, glancing back over her shoulder. Her father handsignaled
out of the Rosewood parking lot.
Aria walked into the narrow hallway of the faculty wing.
Ezra’s office was at the end of the hall, next to a small, cozy
window seat. She stopped in the doorway and watched him
as he typed something into his computer.
Finally, she knocked. Ezra’s blue eyes widened when he
saw her. He looked adorable in his button-down white shirt,
blue Rosewood blazer, green cords, and beat-up black
loafers. The corners of his mouth curled up into the tiniest,
shyest smile.
‘Hey,’ he said.
Aria hovered in the doorway. ‘Can I talk to you?’ Aria
asked. Her voice squeaked a little.
Ezra hesitated, pushing a lock of hair out of his eyes. Aria
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noticed a Snoopy Band-Aid wrapped around his left pinkie
finger. ‘Sure,’ he said softly. ‘Come in.’
She walked into his office and shut the door. It was empty,
except for a wide, heavy wood desk, two folding chairs, and
a computer. She sat down on the empty folding chair.
‘So, um,’ Aria said. ‘Hey.’
‘Hey again,’ Ezra answered, grinning. He lowered his eyes
and took a gulp from his Rosewood Day crest coffee mug.
‘Listen,’ he started.
‘About yesterday,’ Aria said at the same time. They both
laughed.
‘Ladies first.’ Ezra smiled.
Aria scratched the back of her neck where her straight
black hair was drawn up in a ponytail. ‘I, um, wanted to talk
about . . . us.’
Ezra nodded, but didn’t say anything.
Aria wiggled in her chair. ‘Well, I guess it’s shocking that
I’m . . . um . . . your student, after, you know . . . Snookers.
But if you don’t mind, I don’t.’
Ezra cupped his hand around his mug. Aria listened to the
school-issued wall clock ticking off the seconds. ‘I . . . I don’t
think it’s a good idea,’ he said softly. ‘You said you were
older.’
Aria laughed, not sure how serious he was. ‘I never told
you how old I was.’ She lowered her eyes. ‘You just
assumed.’
‘Yeah, but you shouldn’t have implied it,’ Ezra responded.
‘Everybody lies about their age,’ Aria said quietly.
Ezra ran his hand through his hair. ‘But . . . you’re . . .’ He
met her eyes and sighed. ‘Look, I . . . I think you’re amazing,
Aria. I do. I met you in that bar, and I was like . . . wow, who
is this? She’s so unlike any other girl I’ve ever met.’
Aria looked down, feeling both pleased and a little queasy.
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Ezra reached across the desk and touched his hand to
hers – it was warm, dry, and soothing – but then quickly
pulled away. ‘But this isn’t meant to be, you know? ’Cause,
well, you’re my student. I could get in a lot of trouble. You
don’t want me to get in trouble, do you?’
‘No one would know,’ Aria said faintly, although she
couldn’t help but think about that bizarre text from yesterday,
and that maybe someone already knew.
It took Ezra a long time to respond. It seemed to Aria that
he was trying to make up his mind. She looked at him hopefully.
‘I’m sorry, Aria,’ he finally mumbled. ‘But I think you
should go.’
Aria stood up, feeling her cheeks burn. ‘Of course.’ Aria
wrapped her hands around the top of the chair. It felt like
hot coals were bouncing around her insides.
‘I’ll see you in class,’ Ezra whispered.
She shut the door carefully. In the hall, teachers swarmed
around her, rushing off to their homerooms. She decided to
get to her locker by cutting through the commons – she
needed some fresh air.
Outside, Aria heard a familiar girl’s laugh. She froze for a
second. When would she stop thinking she heard Alison
everywhere? She trudged not on the commons’ winding
stone path, like you were supposed to, but through the grass.
The morning fog was so dense that Aria could barely see her
legs below her. Her footprints vanished in the squishy grass
as quickly as she made them.
Good. This seemed like an appropriate time to disappear
completely.
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10
Single Girls Have Way More Fun
That afternoon, Emily was standing in the student parking
lot, lost in thought, when someone threw their hands over
her eyes. Emily jumped, startled.
‘Whoa, chill! It’s just me!’
Emily turned and sighed with relief. It was only Maya.
Emily had been so distracted and paranoid since getting that
bizarre note yesterday. She’d been about to unlock her car –
her mom let her and Carolyn take it to school on the condition
they drive carefully and call when they got there – and
grab her swimming bag for practice.
‘Sorry,’ Emily said. ‘I thought . . . never mind.’
‘I missed you today.’ Maya smiled.
‘Me too.’ Emily smiled back. She’d tried calling Maya this
morning to offer her a ride to school, but Maya’s mom said
she’d already left. ‘So, how are you?’
‘Well, I could be better.’ Today, Maya had secured her
wild dark hair off her face with adorable iridescent pink butterfly
clips.
‘Oh yeah?’ Emily tilted her head.
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Maya pursed her lips together and slid one of her feet out
of her Oakley sandals. Her second toe was longer than her
big toe, just like Emily’s. ‘I’d be better if you came somewhere
with me. Right now.’
‘But I have swimming,’ Emily said, hearing Eeyore in her
voice again.
Maya took her hand and swung it. ‘What if I told you that
where we’re going sort of involves swimming?’
Emily narrowed her eyes. ‘What do you mean?’
‘You have to trust me.’
Even though she’d been close to Hanna and Spencer and
Aria, all of Emily’s favorite memories were of hanging out
alone with Ali. Like when they dressed up in bulky snow
pants to sled down Bayberry Hill, talked about their ideal
boyfriends, or cried about The Jenna Thing from sixth grade
and comforted each other. When it was just the two of them,
Emily saw a slightly less perfect Ali – which somehow made
her seem even more perfect – and Emily felt she could be herself.
It seemed like days, weeks, years had gone by where
Emily hadn’t been herself. And she thought that now, she
could have something like that with Maya. She missed
having a best friend.
Right now, Ben and all the other boys were probably
changing into their suits, slapping one another’s bare butts
with wet towels. Coach Lauren was writing the practice sets
on the big marker board and carrying out the appropriate
fins, buoys, and paddles. And the girls on the team were
complaining because they all had their periods at the same
time. Did she dare miss the second day of practice?
Emily squeezed her plastic fish keychain. ‘I suppose I
could tell Carolyn I had to tutor somebody in Spanish,’ she
murmured. Emily knew Carolyn wouldn’t buy that, but she
probably wouldn’t squeal on Emily, either.
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Triple-checking the parking lot to see if anyone was
watching, Emily smiled and unlocked the car.
‘All right. Let’s go.’
‘My brother and I checked out this spot this weekend,’ Maya
said as Emily pulled into the gravel parking lot.
Emily stepped out of the car and stretched. ‘I forgot about
this place.’ They were at the Marwyn trail, which was about
five miles long and bordered a deep creek. She and her
friends used to ride their bikes here all the time – Ali and
Spencer would pedal furiously at the end and usually tie –
and stop at the little snack bar by the swimming area for
Butterfingers and Diet Cokes.
As she followed Maya up a muddy slope, Maya grabbed
her arm. ‘Oh! I forgot to tell you. My mom said your mom
stopped over yesterday while we were in school. She brought
over brownies.’
‘Really?’ Emily responded, confused. She wondered why
her mother hadn’t mentioned anything to her at dinner.
‘The brownies were dee lish. My brother and I polished
them off last night!’
They came to the dirt trail. A canopy of oaks sheltered
them. The air had that fresh, woodsy smell and it felt about
twenty degrees cooler.
‘We’re not there yet.’ Maya took her hand and led her
down the path to a small stone bridge. Twenty feet beneath
it, the stream widened. The calm water glittered in the lateafternoon
sun.
Maya walked right up to the edge of the bridge and
stripped down to her matching pale pink bra and undies. She
threw her clothes in a pile, stuck her tongue out at Emily,
and jumped off.
‘Wait!’ Emily rushed to the edge. Did Maya know how
89
deep this was? A full one-Mississippi, two-Mississippi later,
Emily heard a splash.
Maya’s head popped back up out of the water. ‘Told you
it involved swimming! C’mon, strip!’
Emily glanced at Maya’s pile of clothes. She really hated
undressing in front of people – even the swim team girls,
who saw her every day. She slowly took off her pleated
Rosewood skirt, crossing her legs over each other so Maya
couldn’t see her bare, muscular thighs, and then pulled at the
tank top she wore under her uniform blouse. She decided to
keep it on. She looked over the edge to the creek and, steeling
herself, she jumped. A moment later, the water hugged
her body. It was pleasantly warm and thick with mud, not
cold and clean like the pool. The built-in shelf bra of her
tank top puffed out with water.
‘It’s like a sauna in here,’ Maya said.
‘Yeah.’ Emily paddled over to the shallower area, where
Maya was standing. Emily realized she could see Maya’s nipples
straight through her bra, and cut her eyes away.
‘I used to go cliff diving with Justin all the time back in
Cali,’ Maya said. ‘He’d stand up at the top and, like, think
about it for ten minutes before jumping. I like how you
didn’t even hesitate.’
Emily floated on her back and smiled. She couldn’t help it:
she gobbled up Maya’s compliments like cheesecake.
Maya squirted Emily with water through her cupped
hands. Some of it squirted right into her mouth. The creek
water tasted gooey and almost metallic, nothing like chlorinated
pool water. ‘I think me and Justin are going to break
up,’ Maya said.
Emily swam closer to the edge and stood up. ‘Really?
Why?’
‘Yeah. The long-distance thing is too stressful. He calls
90
me, like, all the time. I’ve only been gone for a few days, and he’s already sent me two letters!’
‘Huh,’ Emily answered, sifting her fingers through the
murky water. Then something occurred to her. She turned to
Maya. ‘Did you, um, put a note in my swim locker yesterday?’
Maya frowned. ‘What, after school? No . . . you walked
me home, remember?’
‘Right.’ She didn’t really think Maya had written the note,
but things would’ve been so much simpler if she had.
‘What did the note say?’
Emily shook her head. ‘Never mind. It was nothing.’ She
cleared her throat. ‘You know, I think I might break up with
my boyfriend too.’
Whoa. Emily wouldn’t have been any more surprised if a
bluebird had just flown out of her mouth.
‘Really?’ Maya said.
Emily blinked water out of her eyes. ‘I don’t know.
Maybe.’
Maya stretched her arms over her head, and Emily caught
sight of that scar on her wrist again. She looked away. ‘Well,
fuck a moose,’ Maya said.
Emily smiled. ‘Huh?’
‘It’s this thing I say sometimes,’ Maya said. ‘It means . . .
screw it!’ She turned away and shrugged. ‘I guess it’s silly.’
‘No, I like it,’ Emily said. ‘Fuck a moose.’ She giggled. She
always felt funny swearing – as if her mom could hear her
from their kitchen, ten miles away.
‘You totally should break up with your boyfriend,
though,’ Maya said. ‘Know why?’
‘Why?’
‘That would mean we’d both be single.’
‘And that means what?’ Emily asked. The forest was very
quiet and still.
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Maya moved closer to her. ‘And that means . . . we . . .
can . . . have fun!’ She grabbed Emily by the shoulder and
dunked her under the water.
‘Hey!’ Emily squealed. She splashed Maya back, ripping
her whole arm through the water, creating a giant wave.
Then she grabbed Maya by the leg and started tickling
underneath her toes.
‘Help!’ Maya screamed. ‘Not my feet! I’m so ticklish!’
‘I’ve found your weakness!’ Emily crowed, maniacally
dragging Maya over to the waterfall. Maya managed to
wrench her foot away and pounced on Emily’s shoulders
from behind. Maya’s hands drifted up Emily’s sides, then
down to her stomach, where she tickled her. Emily squealed.
She finally pushed Maya into a small cave in the rocks.
‘I hope there are no bats in here!’ Maya squealed. Beams
of sunlight pierced through the cave’s tiny openings, making
a halo around the top of Maya’s sopping wet head.
‘You have to come in here,’ Maya said. She held out her
hand.
Emily stood next to her, feeling the cave’s smooth, cool
sides. The sounds of her breathing echoed off the narrow
walls. They looked at each other and grinned.
Emily bit her lip. This was such a perfect friend moment,
it made her feel kind of melancholy and nostalgic.
Maya’s eyes turned down in concern. ‘What’s wrong?’
Emily took a deep breath. ‘Well . . . you know that girl
who lived in your house? Alison?’
‘Yeah.’
‘She went missing. Right after seventh grade. She was
never found.’
Maya shivered slightly. ‘I heard something about that.’
Emily hugged herself; she was getting cold, too. ‘We were
really close.’
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Maya moved closer to Emily and put her arm around her.
‘I didn’t realize.’
‘Yeah.’ Emily’s chin wobbled. ‘I just wanted you to know.’
‘Thanks.’
A few long moments passed; Emily and Maya continued
to hug. Then, Maya backed off. ‘I kind of lied earlier. About
why I want to break up with Justin.’
Emily raised an eyebrow, curious.
‘I’m . . . I’m not sure if I like guys,’ Maya said quietly. ‘It’s
weird. I think they’re cute, but when I get alone with them,
I don’t want to be with them. I’d rather be with, like, someone
more like me.’ She smiled crookedly. ‘You know?’
Emily ran her hands over her face and hair. Maya’s gaze
felt too close all of a sudden. ‘I . . . ,’ she started. No, she
didn’t know.
The bushes above them moved. Emily flinched. Her mom
used to hate when she came to this trail – you never knew
what kind of kidnappers or murderers hid in places like this.
The woods were still for a moment, but then a flock of birds
scattered wildly into the sky. Emily flattened herself up
against the rock. Was someone watching them? Who was
that laughing? The laugh sounded familiar. Then Emily
heard heavy breathing. Goose bumps rose up on her arms
and she peered out of the cave.
It was only a group of boys. Suddenly, they burst into the
creek, wielding sticks like swords. Emily backed away from
Maya and out of the waterfall.
‘Where are you going?’ Maya called.
Emily looked at Maya, and then at the boys, who had
abandoned the sticks and were now throwing rocks at each
other. One of them was Mike Montgomery, her old friend
Aria’s little brother. He’d grown up quite a bit since she last
saw him. And wait – Mike went to Rosewood. Would he
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recognize her? Emily climbed out of the water and started
scurrying up the hill.
She turned back to Maya. ‘I have to get back to school
before Carolyn’s done with swimming.’ She pulled on her
skirt. ‘Do you want me to throw down your clothes?’
‘Whatev.’ At that, she stepped out of the waterfall and
waded through the water, her sheer underwear clinging to
her butt. Maya climbed up the slope slowly, not once covering
up her stomach or boobs with her hands. The freshmen
boys stopped what they were doing and stared.
And even though Emily didn’t want to, she couldn’t help
but stare too.
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11
At Least Sweet Potatoes Have Lots of
Vitamin A
‘Her. Definitely her,’ Hanna whispered, pointing.
‘Nah. They’re too small!’ Mona whispered back.
‘But look at the way they puff up at the top! Totally fake,’
Hanna countered.
‘I think that woman over there has had her butt done.’
‘Gross.’ Hanna wrinkled her nose and ran her hands over
the sides of her own toned, perfectly round butt to make
sure it was still perfectly perfect. It was late afternoon on
Wednesday, just two days until Noel Kahn’s annual field
party, and she and Mona were lounging on the outside terrace
at Yam, the organic café at Mona’s parents’ country
club. Below them, a bunch of Rosewood boys played a
quick round of golf before dinner, but Hanna and Mona
were playing another type of game: Spot the Fake Boobs. Or
fake anything else, as there was lots of fake stuff around
here.
‘Yeah, it looks like her surgeon messed up,’ Mona murmured.
‘I think my mom plays tennis with her. I’ll ask.’
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Hanna looked again at the pixieish, thirtysomething
woman by the bar whose butt did look suspiciously extraluscious
for the rest of her toothpick-skinny figure. ‘I’d die
before I got plastic surgery.’
Mona played with the charm on her Tiffany bracelet – the
one she, evidently, didn’t have to give back. ‘Do you think
Aria Montgomery had hers done?’
Hanna looked up, startled. ‘Why?’
‘She’s really thin, and they’re like, too perfect,’ Mona said.
‘She went to Finland or wherever, right? I hear in Europe
they can do your boobs for really cheap.’
‘I don’t think they’re fake,’ Hanna murmured.
‘How do you know?’
Hanna chewed on her straw. Aria’s boobs had always
been there – she and Alison had been the only two of the
friends who needed a bra in seventh grade. Ali always
flaunted hers, but the only time Aria seemed to notice she
even had boobs was when she knit everyone bras as
Christmas gifts and had to make herself a larger size. ‘She
just doesn’t seem the type,’ Hanna answered. Talking to
Mona about her old friends was awkward territory. Hanna
still felt bad about how she and Ali and the others used to
tease Mona back in seventh grade, but it always seemed too
weird to bring up now.
Mona stared at her. ‘Are you all right? You look different
today.’
Hanna flinched. ‘I do? How?’
Mona gave her a tiny smirk. ‘Whoa! Somebody’s jumpy!’
‘I’m not jumpy,’ Hanna said quickly. But she was: Ever
since the police station and that e-mail she had gotten last
night, she’d been freaking. This morning, her eyes even
seemed more dull brown than green, and her arms looked
disturbingly puffy. She had this horrible sense that she really
96
was going to spontaneously morph back into her seventhgrade
self.
A blond, giraffelike waitress interrupted them. ‘Have you
decided?’
Mona looked at the menu. ‘I’ll have the Asian chicken
salad, no dressing.’
Hanna cleared her throat. ‘I want a garden salad with
sprouts, no dressing, and an extra-large order of sweet
potato fries. In a carry-out box, please.’
As the waitress took their menus, Mona pushed her sunglasses
down her nose. ‘Sweet potato fries?’
‘For my mom,’ Hanna answered quickly. ‘She lives on
them.’
Down on the golf course, a group of older guys teed up,
along with one young good-looking guy in fatigue shorts.
He looked a little out of place with his messy brown hair,
cargos, and . . . was that a . . . Rosewood Police polo? Oh
no. It was.
Wilden scanned the terrace and coolly nodded when he
saw Hanna. She ducked.
‘Who is that?’ Mona purred.
‘Um . . . ,’ Hanna mumbled, half under the table. Darren
Wilden was a golfer? Come on. Back in high school, he was the type to flick lit matches at the guys on Rosewood’s golf
team. Was the whole world out to get her?
Mona squinted. ‘Wait. Didn’t he go to our school?’ She
grinned. ‘Oh my God. It’s the girls’ diving team guy. Hanna,
you little bitch! How does he know you?’
‘He’s . . .’ Hanna paused. She ran her hand along the
waistband of her jeans. ‘I met him on the Marwyn trail a
couple of days ago when I was running. We stopped at the
water fountain at the same time.’
‘Nice,’ Mona said. ‘Does he work around here?’
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Hanna paused again. She really wanted to avoid this.
‘Um . . . I think he said he was a cop,’ she said nonchalantly.
‘You’re kidding.’ Mona took out her Shu Uemura lip
moisturizer from her blue leather hobo bag and lightly
dabbed her bottom lip. ‘That guy’s hot enough to be in a
policeman’s calendar. I could just see it: Mr. April. Let’s ask
if we can see his nightstick!’
‘Shhh,’ Hanna hissed.
Their salads came. Hanna pushed the Styrofoam container
of sweet potato fries to the side and took a bite of an
undressed grape tomato.
Mona leaned closer. ‘I bet you could hook up with him.’
‘Who?’
‘Mr. April! Who else?’
Hanna snorted. ‘Right.’
‘Totally. You should bring him to the Kahn party. I heard
some cops came to the party last year. That’s how they never
get busted.’
Hanna sat back. The Kahn party was a legendary
Rosewood tradition. The Kahns lived on twenty-some acres
of land, and the Kahn boys – Noel was the youngest – held
a back-to-school party every year. The kids raided their parents’
extremely well-stocked liquor supply in the basement,
and there was always a scandal. Last year, Noel shot his best
friend James in the bare ass with his BB gun because James
had tried to make out with Noel’s then-girlfriend, Alyssa
Pennypacker. They were both so drunk they laughed the
whole way to the ER and couldn’t remember how or why it
happened. The year before that, a bunch of stoners smoked
too much and tried to get Mr. Kahn’s Appaloosas to take hits
from a bong.
‘Nah.’ Hanna bit into another tomato. ‘I think I’m going
with Sean.’
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Mona scrunched up her face. ‘Why waste a perfectly good
party night on Sean? He took a virginity pledge! He probably
won’t even go.’
‘Just because you sign a virginity pledge doesn’t mean you
stop partying, too.’ Hanna took a big bite of her salad,
crunching the dry, unappetizing vegetables in her mouth.
‘Well, if you’re not gonna ask Mr. April to Noel’s, I will.’
Mona stood up.
Hanna grabbed her arm. ‘No!’
‘Why not? C’mon. It’d be fun.’
Hanna dug her fingernails into Mona’s arm. ‘I said no.’
Mona sat back down and stuck out her lip. ‘Why not?’
Hanna’s heart galloped. ‘All right. You can’t tell anyone,
though.’ She took a deep breath. ‘I met him at the police station,
not the trail. I was called in for questioning for the
Tiffany’s thing. But it’s not a big deal. I’m not busted.’
‘Oh my God!’ Mona yelled. Wilden looked up at them
again.
‘Shhh!’ Hanna hissed.
‘Are you all right? What happened? Tell me everything,’
Mona whispered back.
‘There isn’t much to tell.’ Hanna threw her napkin over
her plate. ‘They brought me to the station, my mom came
with me, and we sat for a while. They let me off with a
warning. Whatever. The whole thing took like twenty
minutes.’
‘Yikes.’ Mona gave Hanna an indeterminate look; Hanna
wondered for a second if it was a look of pity.
‘It wasn’t, like, dramatic or anything,’ Hanna said defensively,
her throat dry. ‘Not much happened. Most of the cops
were on the phone. I text-messaged the whole time.’ She
paused, considering whether she should tell Mona about that
‘not it’ text message she’d received from A, whoever A was.
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But why waste her breath? It couldn’t have actually meant
anything, right?
Mona took a sip of her Perrier. ‘I thought you’d never get
caught.’
Hanna swallowed hard. ‘Yeah, well . . .’
‘Did your mom totally kill you?’
Hanna looked away. On the drive home, her mom had
asked Hanna if she’d meant to steal the bracelet and earrings.
When Hanna said no, Ms. Marin answered, ‘Good.
It’s settled then.’ Then she flipped open her cell to make a
call.
Hanna shrugged and stood up. ‘I just remembered – I
gotta go walk Dot.’
‘Are you sure you’re okay?’ Mona asked. ‘Your face looks
kind of splotchy.’
‘No biggie.’ She smacked her lips glamorously at Mona
and turned for the door.
Hanna sauntered coolly out of the restaurant, but once
she got to the parking lot, she broke into a run. She climbed
inside her Toyota Prius – a car her mom had bought for herself
last year but had recently handed off to Hanna because
she’d grown tired of it – and checked her face in the rearview
mirror. There were hideous bright red patches on her cheeks
and forehead.
After her transformation, Hanna had been neurotically
careful about not only looking cool and perfect at all times,
but being cool and perfect, too. Terrified that the tiniest mistake would send her spiraling back to dorkdom, she labored
over every last detail, from little things like the perfect IM
screen name and the right mix for her car’s built-in iPod, to
bigger stuff like the right combo of people to invite over
before someone’s party and choosing the perfect it boy to
date – who, luckily, was the same boy she’d loved since
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seventh grade. Had getting caught for shoplifting just tarnished
the perfect, controlled, über-cool Hanna everyone had
come to know? She hadn’t been able to read that look on
Mona’s face when she said ‘yikes.’ Had the look meant,
Yikes, but no big deal? Or, Yikes, what a loser?
She wondered if maybe she shouldn’t have told Mona at
all. But then . . . someone else already knew. A .
Know what Sean’s going to say? Not it!
Hanna’s field of vision went blurry. She squeezed the
steering wheel for a few seconds, then jammed the key into
the ignition and rolled out of the country club parking lot to
a gravelly, dead-end turn-off a few yards down the road. She
could hear her heart pounding at her temples as she turned
off the engine and took deep breaths. The wind smelled like
hay and just-mown grass.
Hanna shut her eyes tight. When she opened them, she
stared at the container of sweet potato fries. Don’t, she
thought. A car swished by on the main road.
Hanna wiped her hands on her jeans. She snuck another
peek at the container. The fries smelled delicious. Don’t,
don’t, don’t.
She reached over for them and opened the lid. Their
sweet, warm smell wafted into her face. Before she could
stop herself, Hanna shoved handful after handful of fries
into her mouth. The fries were still so hot that they burned
her tongue, but she didn’t care. It was such a relief; this was
the only thing that made her feel better. She didn’t stop until
she’d eaten them all and even licked the sides of the container
for the salt that had gathered at the bottom.
At first she felt much, much calmer. But by the time she
pulled into her driveway, the old, familiar feelings of panic
and shame had welled up inside her. Hanna was amazed
how, even though it had been years since she’d done this,
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everything felt exactly the same. Her stomach ached, her
pants felt tight, and all she wanted was to be rid of what was
inside of her.
Ignoring Dot’s excited cries from her bedroom, Hanna
bolted to the upstairs bathroom, slammed the door, and collapsed
onto the tiled floor. Thank God her mom wasn’t
home from work yet. At least she wouldn’t hear what Hanna
was about to do.
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12
Mmm, Love That New-Test-Score Smell
Okay. Spencer had to calm down.
Wednesday night, she pulled her black Mercedes C-Class
hatchback – her sister’s castoff car, since she got the new,
‘practical’ Mercedes SUV – into the circular driveway of her
house. Her student council meeting had gone extra late and
she’d been on edge driving through Rosewood’s dark streets.
All day, she’d felt like someone was watching her, like whoever
had written that ‘covet’ e-mail could jump out at her at
any second.
Spencer kept thinking uneasily about that familiar ponytail
in Alison’s bedroom window. Her mind kept going back
to Ali – all the things she knew about Spencer. But no, that
was crazy. Alison had been gone – and most likely dead –
for three years. Plus, a new family lived in her house now,
right?
Spencer ran to the mailbox and pulled out a pile, tossing
everything back that wasn’t hers. Suddenly, she saw it. It was
a long envelope, not too thick, not too thin, with Spencer’s
name typed neatly in the windowpane. The return address
said, The College Board. It was here.
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Spencer ripped open the envelope and scanned the page.
She read the PSAT results six times before it sunk in.
She’d gotten a 2350 out of 2400.
‘Yessssss!’ she screamed, clutching the papers so tightly
they wrinkled.
‘Whoa! Someone’s happy!’ called a voice from the road.
Spencer looked up. Hanging out the driver’s-side window
of a black Mini Cooper was Andrew Campbell, the tall,
freckly, long-haired boy that beat out Spencer for class president.
They were number-one and number-two in the class in
practically every subject. But before Spencer could brag
about her score – telling Andrew about her PSATs would feel
so good – he peeled away. Freak. Spencer turned back to her house.
As she excitedly scampered inside, something stopped her:
she remembered her sister’s near-perfect score and quickly
converted it from the 1600-scale they used to use into the
2400-scale the College Board used nowadays. It was a full
100 points lower than Spencer’s. And weren’t they supposed
to be harder these days, too?
Well, now who’s the genius?
An hour later, Spencer sat at the kitchen table reading
Middlemarch – a book on the English AP ‘suggested reading’
list – when she began to sneeze.
‘Melissa and Wren are here,’ Mrs. Hastings said to
Spencer as she bustled into the kitchen, carrying in the mail
Spencer had left in the box. ‘They’ve brought all of their luggage
to move in!’ She opened the oven a crack, checking on
the rotisserie chicken and seven-grain rolls, and then bustled
into the living room.
Spencer sneezed again. A cloud of Chanel No. 5 always
preceded her mom – even though she spent the whole day
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working around horses – and Spencer was certain she was
allergic. She considered announcing her PSAT news, but a
twinkly voice from the foyer stopped her.
‘Mom?’ Melissa called. She and Wren strolled into the
kitchen. Spencer pretended to study Middlemarch’s boring
back cover.
‘Hey,’ Wren said above her.
‘Hey,’ she answered coolly.
‘Whatcha reading?’
Spencer hesitated. It was better to steer clear of Wren,
especially now that he was moving in.
Melissa brushed by without saying hello and began to
unpack purple pillows from a Pottery Barn bag. ‘These are
for the couch in the barn,’ she practically yelled.
Spencer cringed. Two could play at this game. ‘Oh,
Melissa!’ Spencer cried. ‘I forgot to tell you! Guess who I ran
into!’
Melissa continued to unpack the pillows. ‘Who?’
‘Ian Thomas! He’s coaching my field hockey team now!’
Melissa froze. ‘He . . . what? He is? He’s here? Did he ask
about me?’
Spencer shrugged and pretended to think. ‘No, I don’t
think so.’
‘Who’s Ian Thomas?’ Wren asked, leaning against the
marble island counter.
‘No one,’ Melissa snapped, turning back to the pillows.
Spencer slapped her book shut and skipped off to the dining
room. There. That felt better.
She sat down at the long, mission-style farmhouse table,
running her finger around the stemless wineglass Candace,
the family’s housekeeper, had just filled with red wine. Her
parents didn’t care if their kids drank while they were at
home as long as no one was driving, so she grabbed the glass
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with both hands and greedily took a large gulp. When she
looked up, Wren was smirking at her from across the table,
his spine very straight in his dining chair.
‘Hey,’ he said. She raised her eyebrows in answer.
Melissa and Mrs. Hastings sat down, and Spencer’s father
adjusted the chandelier lights and took a seat as well. For a
moment everyone was quiet. Spencer felt for the PSAT score
papers in her pocket. ‘So guess what happened to me,’ she
began.
‘Wren and I are so happy you’re letting us stay here!’
Melissa said at the same time, grabbing Wren’s hand.
Mrs. Hastings smiled at Melissa. ‘I’m always happy when
the family’s all here.’
Spencer bit her lip, her stomach nervously gurgling. ‘So,
Dad. I got my—’
‘Uh-oh,’ Melissa interrupted, staring down at the plates
Candace had just brought in from the kitchen. ‘Do we have
anything other than chicken? Wren’s trying not to eat meat.’
‘It’s all right,’ Wren said hastily. ‘Chicken is perfect.’
‘Oh!’ Mrs. Hastings stood up halfway. ‘You don’t eat
meat? I didn’t know! I think we may have some pasta salad
in the fridge, although it might have ham in it . . .’
‘Really, it’s okay.’ Wren rubbed his head uncomfortably,
making his messy black hair stand up in peaks.
‘Oh, I feel terrible,’ Mrs. Hastings said. Spencer rolled her
eyes. When the whole family was together, her mom wanted
all meals – even sloppy cereal breakfasts – to be perfect.
Mr. Hastings eyed Wren suspiciously. ‘I’m a steak man,
myself.’
‘Absolutely.’ Wren lifted his glass so forcefully that a little
wine spilled on the tablecloth.
Spencer was considering a good segue into her big
announcement when her father laid down his fork.
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‘I’ve got a brilliant idea. Since we’re all here, why don’t we
play Star Power?’
‘Oh, Daddy.’ Melissa grinned. ‘No.’
Her father smiled. ‘Oh yes. I had a terrific day at work.
I’m going to kick your butt.’
‘What’s Star Power?’ Wren asked, his eyebrows arched.
A nervous glow grew in Spencer’s stomach. Star Power
was a game her parents had made up when Spencer and
Melissa were little kids that she’d always suspected they’d
pilfered from some company power-retreat. It was simple:
Everyone shared their biggest achievement of the day, and
the family would select one Star. It was supposed to make
people feel proud and accomplished, but in the Hastings
family, people just got ruthlessly competitive.
But if there was one perfect way for Spencer to announce
her PSAT results, Star Power was it.
‘You’ll catch on, Wren,’ Mr. Hastings said. ‘I’ll start.
Today, I prepared a defense so compelling for my client, he
actually offered to pay me more money.’
‘Impressive,’ her mother said, taking a tiny bite of a
golden beet. ‘Now me. This morning, I beat Eloise at tennis
in straight sets.’
‘Eloise is tough!’ her father cried before taking another sip
of wine. Spencer peeked at Wren across the table. He was
carefully peeling the skin off his chicken thigh, so she couldn’t
catch his eye.
Her mother dabbed her mouth with her napkin.
‘Melissa?’
Melissa laced her stubby-nailed fingers together. ‘Well,
hmm. I helped the builders tile the entire bathroom – the
only way it’d be perfect is if I did it myself.’
‘Good for you, dear!’ her father said.
Spencer jiggled her legs nervously.
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Mr. Hastings finished sipping his wine. ‘Wren?’
Wren looked up, startled. ‘Yes?’
‘It’s your turn.’
Wren fiddled with his wineglass. ‘I don’t know what I
should say . . .’
‘We’re playing Star Power,’ Mrs. Hastings chirped, as if
Star Power were as common a game as Scrabble. ‘What wonderful
thing did you, Mr. Doctor, achieve today?’
‘Oh.’ Wren blinked. ‘Well. Um, nothing, really. It was my
day off from school and the hospital, so I went down to the
pub with some hospital friends and watched the Phillies
game.’
Silence. Melissa shot Wren a disappointed look.
‘I think that’s awesome,’ Spencer offered. ‘The way
they’ve been playing, it’s a feat to watch the Phillies all day.’
‘I know, they’re kind of crap, aren’t they?’ Wren smiled at
her gratefully.
‘Well, anyway,’ her mother interrupted. ‘Melissa, when do
you start class?’
‘Wait a minute,’ Spencer piped up. They were not about to
forget her! ‘I have something for Star Power.’
Her mother’s salad fork hung in the air. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘Oops!’ her father agreed jocularly. ‘Go ahead, Spence.’
‘I got my PSAT results,’ she said. ‘And, well . . . here.’ She
pulled out the scores and shoved them at her father.
As soon as he took them, she knew what would happen.
They wouldn’t care. What did PSATs matter, anyway?
They’d go back to their Beaujolais and to Melissa and
Wharton and that would be that. Her cheeks felt hot. Why
did she even bother?
Then her dad put down his wineglass and studied the
paper. ‘Wow.’ He motioned Mrs. Hastings over. When she
saw the paper, she gasped.
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‘You can’t get much higher than this, can you?’ Mrs.
Hastings said.
Melissa craned her neck to look too. Spencer could hardly
breathe. Melissa glared at her over the lilac and peony centerpiece.
It was a look that made Spencer think that maybe
Melissa had written that creepy e-mail yesterday. But when
Spencer met her eye, Melissa broke into a smile. ‘You really
studied, didn’t you?’
‘It’s a good score, yeah?’ Wren asked, glancing at the page.
‘It’s a fantastic score!’ Mr. Hastings bellowed.
‘This is wonderful!’ cried Mrs. Hastings. ‘How would you
like to celebrate, Spencer? Dinner in the city? Is there something
you’ve had your eye on?’
‘When I got my SAT scores, you got me a Fitzgerald first
edition at that estate auction, remember?’ Melissa beamed.
‘That’s right!’ Mrs. Hastings trilled.
Melissa turned to Wren. ‘You would’ve loved it. It was so
amazing to bid.’
‘Well, why don’t you give it some thought,’ Mrs. Hastings
said to Spencer. ‘Try to think of something memorable, like
what we got for Melissa.’
Spencer slowly sat up. ‘Actually, there is something that I
have in mind.’
‘What’s that?’ Her father leaned forward in his chair.
Here goes, Spencer thought. ‘Well, what I’d really, really,
really love, right now, not a few months from now, would be
to move into the barn.’
‘But — ,’ Melissa started, before stopping herself.
Wren cleared his throat. Her father furrowed his brow.
Spencer’s stomach made a loud, hungry growl. She covered it
with her hand.
‘Is that what you really want?’ her mother asked.
‘Uh-huh,’ Spencer answered.
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‘Okay,’ Mrs. Hastings said, looking at her husband.
‘Well . . .’
Melissa loudly laid down her fork. ‘But, um, what about
Wren and me?’
‘Well, you said yourself the renovations wouldn’t take too
long.’ Mrs. Hastings put her hand to her chin. ‘You guys
could stay in your old bedroom, I suppose.’
‘But it has a twin bed,’ Melissa said in an uncharacteristically
childish voice.
‘I don’t mind,’ Wren said quickly. Melissa scowled sharply
at him.
‘We could move the queen bed from the barn to Melissa’s
room and put Spencer’s bed out there,’ Mr. Hastings suggested.
Spencer couldn’t believe her ears. ‘You would do that?’
Mrs. Hastings raised her eyebrows. ‘Melissa, you can survive,
can’t you?’
Melissa pushed her hair back from her face. ‘I guess,’ she
said. ‘I mean, I personally got much more out of the auction
and the first edition, but that’s just me.’
Wren discreetly took a sip of his wine. When Spencer
caught his eye, he winked. Mr. Hastings turned to Spencer.
‘Done, then.’
Spencer jumped up and hugged her parents. ‘Thank you,
thank you, thank you!’
Her mother beamed. ‘You should move in tomorrow.’
‘Spencer, you’re certainly the Star.’ Her father held up her
scores, now slightly stained with red wine. ‘We should frame
this as a memento!’
Spencer grinned. She didn’t need to frame anything. She’d
remember this day for as long as she lived.
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13
Act One: Girl Makes Boy Want Her
‘Want to come with me to an artist reception at the Chester
Springs studio next Monday night?’ Aria’s mother, Ella,
asked.
It was Thursday morning, and Ella was sitting across from
Aria at the breakfast table, doing the New York Times
crossword puzzle with a leaky black pen and eating a bowl
of Cheerios. She had just returned to her part-time job at the
Davis contemporary art gallery on Rosewood’s main drag,
and she was on the mailing list for all the benefits.
‘Isn’t Dad going to go with you?’ Aria asked.
Her mom pursed her lips together. ‘He has a lot of work
to do for his classes.’
‘Oh.’ Aria picked at a loose strand of wool on the fingerless
gloves she’d knitted during a long train ride to Greece.
Was that suspicion she detected in her mom’s voice? Aria
always worried Ella would find out about Meredith and
never forgive her for keeping the secret.
Aria squeezed her eyes closed. You’re not thinking about
it, she thought. She poured some grapefruit juice into a glass.
‘Ella?’ she asked. ‘I need some love advice.’
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‘Love advice?’ her mother teased, securing her jet-black
bun with a take-out chopstick that had been lying on the
table.
‘Yeah,’ Aria said. ‘I like this guy, but he’s kind of . . . unattainable.
I’m out of ideas on how to convince him he should
like me.’
‘Be yourself!’ Ella said.
Aria groaned. ‘I’ve tried that.’
‘Go out with an attainable boy, then!’
Aria rolled her eyes. ‘Are you going to help or not?’
‘Ooh, someone’s sensitive!’ Ella smiled, then snapped her
fingers. ‘I just read this study in the paper.’ She held up the
Times. ‘It was a survey about what men find most attractive
in women. You know what was the number-one thing?
Intelligence. Here, let me find it for you . . .’ She rifled
through the paper and handed the page to Aria.
‘Aria likes a guy?’ Mike swept into the kitchen and
grabbed a glazed donut from the box on the island.
‘No!’ Aria quickly responded.
‘Well, someone likes you,’ Mike said. ‘Gross as that is.’ He
made a barfing sound.
‘Who?’ Ella asked in an excited voice.
‘Noel Kahn,’ Mike answered, talking with a huge,
chewed-up bite of donut in his mouth. ‘He asked about you
at lacrosse practice.’
‘Noel Kahn?’ Ella echoed, looking back and forth from
Mike to Aria. ‘Which one is he? Was he here three years ago?
Do I know him?’
Aria groaned and rolled her eyes. ‘He’s nobody.’
‘Nobody?’ Mike sounded disgusted. ‘He’s, like, the coolest
guy in your grade.’
‘Whatever,’ Aria said, kissing her mother on the top of her
head. She headed to the hallway, staring at the newspaper
112
clipping in her hands. So men liked brains? Well, Icelandic
Aria could certainly be brainy.
‘Why don’t you like Noel Kahn?’ Mike’s voice made Aria
jump. He stood a few feet away from Aria with a carton of
orange juice in his hand. ‘He’s the man.’
Aria groaned. ‘If you like him so much, why don’t you go
out with him?’
Mike drank straight from the carton, wiped his mouth,
and stared at her. ‘You’ve been acting freaky. Are you high?
Can I have some if you are?’
Aria snorted. In Iceland, Mike had been constantly trying
to score drugs and freaked when some guys at the harbor
sold him a dime bag of pot. The stuff turned out to be
skunky, but Mike proudly smoked it anyway.
Mike started stroking his chin. ‘I think I know why you’re
acting freaky.’
Aria turned back to the closet. ‘You’re full of crap.’
‘You think so?’ Mike answered. ‘I don’t. And you know
what? I’m going to find out if my suspicions are true.’
‘Good luck, Sherlock.’ Aria pulled at her jacket. Even
though she knew Mike was probably full of shit, she hoped
he hadn’t noticed the quiver in her voice.
As the other kids filed into English – most of the boys sporting
a few days’ growth of stubble and most of the girls in
copycat Mona-and-Hanna platform sandals and charm
bracelets – Aria reviewed her just-scrawled stack of note
cards. Today, they had to give an oral report about a play
called Waiting for Godot. Aria adored oral reports – she had
the perfect, sexy, gravelly voice for them – and she happened
to know the play really well. Once, she’d spent a whole
Sunday in a Reykjavík bar, vehemently arguing with an
Adrien Brody look-alike about its theme . . . between swilling
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delicious apple vodka martinis and playing footsie with him
under the table, that is. So not only was this an excellent day
to become über student, it was also a great opportunity to
show everyone how cool Icelandic Aria was.
Ezra strolled in, looking rumpled, bookish, and completely
edible, and clapped his hands. ‘Okay, class,’ he said.
‘We have a lot of stuff to get through today. Quiet down.’
Hanna Marin turned around and smirked at Aria. ‘What
kind of underwear do you think he’s wearing?’
Aria smiled blandly – striped cotton boxers, of course –
but snapped her attention back to Ezra.
‘All right.’ Ezra walked to the chalkboard. ‘Everyone did
the reading, right? Everyone has a report? Who wants to go
first?’
Aria’s hand shot up. Ezra nodded at her. She walked to the
podium at the front of the room, arranged her black hair
around her shoulders so that it looked extra gorgeous, and
made sure that her chunky coral necklace wasn’t caught in
the collar of her shirt. Quickly, she reread the first few scenesetting sentences on her index cards.
‘Last year, I attended a performance of Waiting for Godot
in Paris,’ she began.
She noticed Ezra raise his eyebrow just the tiniest bit.
‘It was a small theater off the Seine, and the air smelled
like the cheese brioche baking next door.’ She paused.
‘Picture the scene: a huge line of people waiting to go in, a
woman toting her two little white poodles, the Eiffel Tower
in the distance.’
She briefly looked up. Everyone seemed so transfixed! ‘I
could feel the energy, the excitement, the passion in the air.
And it wasn’t just the beer they were selling to everyone –
even my little brother,’ she added.
‘Nice!’ Noel Kahn interjected.
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Aria smiled. ‘The seats were very velvety and purple, and
smelled like this type of butter in France that’s sweeter than
American butter. It’s what makes the pastries so delicious.’
‘Aria,’ Ezra said.
‘It’s the kind of butter that even makes escargot taste
good!’
‘Aria!’
Aria stopped. Ezra leaned against the chalkboard with his
arms crossed over his Rosewood blazer. ‘Yes?’ She smiled.
‘I have to stop you.’
‘But . . . I’m not even halfway done!’
‘Well, I need less about velvet seats and pastries and more
about the play itself.’
The class snickered. Aria shuffled back to her seat and sat
down. Didn’t he know she was creating ambiance?
Noel Kahn raised his hand.
‘Noel?’ Ezra asked. ‘You want to go next?’
‘No,’ Noel said. The class laughed. ‘I just wanted to say I
thought Aria’s report was good. I liked it.’
‘Thanks,’ Aria said quietly.
Noel swiveled around. ‘Is there really no drinking age?’
‘Not really.’
‘I might go with my family to Italy this winter.’
‘Italy’s amazing. You’re going to love it.’
‘Are you two through?’ Ezra asked. He shot Noel an exasperated
look. Aria dug her hot-pink nails into the wood
grain of her desk.
Noel turned back to her again. ‘Did they have absinthe?’
he whispered.
She nodded, amazed Noel had even heard of absinthe.
‘Mr. Kahn,’ Ezra interrupted sternly. A little too sternly.
‘That’s enough.’
Was this jealousy she detected?
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‘Damn,’ Hanna twisted around. ‘What crawled up his
ass?’
Aria stifled a giggle. It seemed to her like a certain über
student was making a certain teacher a little twitchy.
Ezra called on Devon Arliss next and she started her
speech. As Ezra turned to the side and put his finger on his
chin, listening, Aria throbbed. She wanted him so badly it
made her whole body buzz.
No, wait. That was just her cell phone, which was nestled
in her oversize lime-green tote next to her foot.
The thing kept buzzing. Aria slowly reached down and
pulled it out. One new text message:
Aria,
Maybe he fools around with students all the time. A lot of
teachers do . . . Just ask your dad! —A
Aria quickly snapped her cell phone shut. But then she
opened it and read the message again. And again. As she did,
the little hairs on her arms stood straight up.
No one in the room had their phones out – not Hanna,
not Noel, nobody. And no one was looking at her, either. She
even looked up on the ceiling and out the classroom door,
but nothing seemed out of place. Everything was quiet and
still.
‘This can’t be happening,’ Aria whispered.
The only person who knew about Aria’s dad was . . .
Alison. And she’d sworn on her grave she wouldn’t tell a
soul. Was she back?
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14
That’ll Teach You to Google-stalk When
You’re Supposed to Be Studying
During her free period Thursday afternoon, Spencer strode
into the Rosewood Day reading room. With its ceiling-high
stacks of reference books, giant pedestal globe in the corner,
and stained-glass window on the far wall, it was her favorite
place on campus. She stood in the middle of the empty room,
closed her eyes, and inhaled the old, leather-bound book
smell.
Everything had gone her way today: The unusual cold
snap had allowed her to wear her brand-new Marc Jacobs
pale blue wool coat, the Rosewood Day café barista had
made her a perfect double skim latte, she’d just aced a
French oral exam, and tonight she would be moving into the
barn, while Melissa had to sleep in her old, cramped bedroom.
Despite all that, an uneasy haze hung over her. It was a
cross between a bothersome feeling she sometimes had when
she’d forgotten to do something and the sense that someone
was . . . well, watching her. It was obvious why she was
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feeling so off: that creepy ‘covet’ e-mail. The flash of blond
hair in Ali’s old window. The fact that only Ali knew about
Ian . . .
Trying to shake it off, she sat down at the computer,
adjusted the waistband of her navy blue Wolford patterned
stockings, and logged on to the Internet. She began research
for her upcoming AP bio project, but after scrolling through a
list of Google results, she typed, Wren Kim, into the search
engine.
Trolling through the results, she stifled a giggle. On a site
called Mill Hill School, London, there was a photo of a
longer-haired Wren standing next to a Bunsen burner and a
bunch of test tubes. Another link was to Oxford University’s
Corpus Christi College student portal; there was a photo of
Wren looking gorgeous in Shakespearean garb, holding a
skull . She hadn’t known Wren was into drama. As she tried
to magnify the photo to check out the fit of his tights, someone
tapped her on the shoulder.
‘That your boyfriend?’
Spencer jumped, knocking her crystal-studded Sidekick
cell phone to the floor. Andrew Campbell grinned awkwardly
behind her.
She quickly closed the window. ‘Of course not!’
Andrew bent down to pick up her Sidekick, pushing a
lock of straight, shoulder-length hair out of his eyes. Spencer
noticed that he might actually have a chance at being cute if
he cut off that lion’s mane.
‘Oops,’ he said, handing the Sidekick back to her. ‘I think
a jewel thing fell off.’
Spencer grabbed it from him. ‘You scared me.’
‘Sorry about that.’ Andrew smiled. ‘So your boyfriend’s an
actor?’
‘I said he wasn’t my boyfriend!’
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Andrew stepped back. ‘Sorry. Just making conversation.’
Spencer eyed him suspiciously.
‘Anyway,’ Andrew went on, hefting his North Face backpack
higher on his shoulder. ‘I was wondering. You going to
Noel’s tomorrow? I could give you a ride.’
Spencer looked at him blankly and then remembered:
Noel Kahn’s field party. She’d gone to last year’s. Kids did
beer funnels, and practically every girl cheated on her
boyfriend. This year would be more of the same. And what –
Andrew seriously thought she’d ride with him in his Mini?
Would they both even fit? ‘Doubt it,’ she said.
Andrew’s face fell. ‘Yeah, I guess you’re probably kind of
busy.’
Spencer furrowed her brow. ‘What’s that supposed to
mean?’
Andrew shrugged. ‘You seem to have a lot going on. Your
sister’s home, right?’
Spencer leaned back in her chair and drew her bottom lip
into her mouth. ‘Yeah, she just got home last night. How’d
you know tha—’
She stopped. Wait a second. Andrew drove his Mini up
and down her street all the time. She’d seen him just yesterday,
when she was at the mailbox getting her test scores . . .
She swallowed hard. Now that she thought about it, she
might have seen his black Mini drive by the day she and
Wren were in the hot tub together. He must’ve been driving
it up and down her street a lot to notice Melissa was home.
What if . . . what if Andrew was the one skulking around
spying on her? What if Andrew wrote that creepy ‘covet’ email?
Andrew was so competitive it seemed possible.
Wouldn’t sending threatening messages be a good way to
throw someone off her game and make it easier to be
reelected as next year’s class president . . . or, even better,
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beat out his competition for valedictorian? And the long
hair! Maybe she’d seen him in Ali’s old window?
Unbelievable! Spencer stared at Andrew incredulously.
‘Is something wrong?’ Andrew asked, looking concerned.
‘I have to go.’ She gathered up her books and walked out
of the reading room.
‘Wait,’ Andrew called.
Spencer kept going. But as she pushed through the library
doors, she realized that she didn’t feel enraged. Sure, it was
bizarre that Andrew was spying on her, but if Andrew was
A, Spencer was safe. Whatever Andrew thought he had on
her, it was nothing . . . nothing . . . compared to what Alison knew.
She reached the door to the commons – coming in at the
same time was Emily Fields.
‘Hey,’ Emily said. A nervous look crossed her face.
‘Hey,’ Spencer answered.
Emily readjusted her Nike backpack. Spencer pushed her
bangs off her face. When was the last time she’d spoken to
Emily?
‘It got cold out, huh?’ Emily asked.
Spencer nodded. ‘Yeah.’
Emily smiled in that I-don’t-know-what-to-say-to-you
way. Then Tracey Reid, another swimmer, grabbed Emily’s
arm. ‘When is our swimsuit money due?’ she asked.
As Emily answered, Spencer wiped some nonexistent dirt
off her blazer and wondered if she could just walk away or if
she had to say a formal good-bye. Then something on Emily’s
wrist caught her eye. Emily was still wearing her blue string
bracelet from sixth grade. Alison had made them for everyone
right after the accident – The Jenna Thing – happened.
Initially, they’d just wanted to get Jenna’s brother, Toby; it
was supposed to be a prank. After the five of them planned
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it, Ali went across the street to watch through Toby’s tree
house window, and then when it happened, it did something
. . . horrible . . . to Jenna.
After the ambulance pulled away from Jenna’s house,
Spencer discovered something about the accident none of the
other girls ever found out: Toby saw Ali, but Ali saw Toby
doing something just as bad. He couldn’t tell on her, because
then she’d tell on him.
Not long after, Ali made everyone the bracelets to remind
them they were best friends forever and now that they shared
a secret like this, they had to protect one another forever.
Spencer waited for Ali to tell the others that someone saw
her, but she never did.
When the cops questioned Spencer after Ali went missing,
they asked if Ali had any enemies, anyone who hated her so
much they might want to hurt her. Spencer said that Ali was
a popular girl, and like any popular girl, there were some
girls who didn’t like her, but it was just jealousy.
That, of course, was a bold-faced lie. There were people
who hated Ali, and Spencer knew she should tell the police
what Ali told her about The Jenna Thing . . . that maybe
Toby wanted to hurt Ali . . . but how could she tell them that
without telling them why? Spencer couldn’t get through a
day without passing Toby and Jenna’s house on her street.
But they’d been sent away to boarding school and hardly
ever came home, so she thought their secret was safe. They
were safe from Toby. And Spencer was safe from ever having
to tell her best friends what she alone knew.
As Tracey Reid said good-bye, Emily turned around. She
seemed surprised Spencer was still standing there. ‘I’ve got to
get to class,’ she said. ‘Good to see you, though.’
‘’Bye,’ Spencer answered, and she and Emily exchanged
one last awkward smile.
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15
Insulting His Masculinity Is Such a
Deal Breaker
‘You guys are looking lazy. I want to see better form!’ Coach
Lauren yelled at them from the deck.
On Thursday afternoon, Emily bobbed with the other
swimmers in the crystal blue water of Rosewood’s Anderson
Memorial Natatorium, listening to their youngish, former-
Olympian coach, Lauren Kinkaid, scream at them. The pool
was twenty-five yards wide, fifty yards long, with a small
diving well. Huge skylights mirrored the length of the pool,
so when you did backstrokes in the evening, you could look
up and see the stars.
Emily held on to the wall and pulled her cap over her
ears. Okay, better form. She needed to really concentrate
today .
Last night, after getting back from the creek with Maya,
she’d lain on her bed for a long time, flip-flopping from
feeling warm and happy about the fun she and Maya had
had . . . to feeling uneasy and antsy about Maya’s confession.
I’m not sure I like guys. I think I’d like someone
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more like me. Did Maya mean what Emily thought she
meant?
Thinking about how giddy Maya had been at the waterfall
– not to mention how much they’d tickled and touched
each other – Emily felt nervous. After getting home last
night, she’d rifled through her swimming bag for that note
from A from the day before. She read it over and over again,
picking apart every word until her eyes blurred.
By dinnertime, Emily decided she needed to throw herself
back into swimming. No more skipped practices. No more
slacking. From now on, she’d be the model swimmer girl.
Ben paddled over to her and put his hands on the wall. ‘I
missed you yesterday.’
‘Mmmm.’ She should make a new start with Ben, too.
With his freckles, piercing blue eyes, slightly stubbly jaw, and
beautifully chiseled swimmer’s body, he was hot, right? She
tried to imagine Ben jumping off the Marwyn trail bridge.
Would he laugh or think it was immature?
‘So where were you?’ Ben asked, blowing on his goggles
to defog them.
‘Tutoring for Spanish.’
‘Wanna come over to my house after practice? My parents
won’t be home till eight.’
‘I . . . I’m not sure if I can.’ Emily pushed away from the
wall and started to tread water. She stared down at her blurrily
pumping legs and feet.
‘Why not?’ Ben pushed off the wall to join her.
‘Because . . .’ She couldn’t come up with an excuse.
‘You know you want to,’ Ben whispered. He took some
water into his hands and began splashing her. Maya had done
the same thing yesterday, but this time Emily jerked away.
Ben stopped splashing. ‘What?’
‘Don’t.’
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Ben put his hands around her waist. ‘No? You don’t like
to get splashed?’ he asked in a baby voice.
She took his hands off her. ‘Don’t. ’
He backed away. ‘Fine.’
Sighing, Emily floated over to the other side of the lane.
She liked Ben, she really did. Maybe she should just go over
to Ben’s after swimming. They’d watch TiVo’ed episodes of
American Chopper, eat pizza delivered from DiSilvio’s, and
he’d feel underneath her unsexy sports bra. Suddenly tears
sprang to her eyes. She really didn’t want to sit on Ben’s itchy
blue basement couch, picking oregano spices out of her teeth
and rolling her tongue around the inside of his mouth. She
just didn’t.
She wasn’t the kind of girl who could fake things. But did
that mean she wanted to break up? It was hard to make up
your mind about a boy when he was right in your swimming
lane, four feet away.
Her sister Carolyn, who was practicing in the lane next to
her, tapped Emily on the shoulder. ‘Everything all right?’
‘Yeah,’ Emily mumbled, grabbing a blue kickboard.
‘Okay.’ Carolyn looked as if she wanted to say more.
After her trip with Maya to the creek yesterday, Emily had
skidded the Volvo into the parking lot just in time to see
Carolyn exiting the natatorium’s double doors. When
Carolyn asked where Emily had been, Emily had told her she
had to tutor for Spanish. It seemed like Carolyn believed her,
despite Emily’s damp hair and the funny ticky noise the car
was making – something it did only when it was cooling
down from a drive.
Even though the sisters looked alike – both had broad
freckles over their noses, chlorine-bleached reddish brown
hair, and had to wear a lot of Maybelline Great Lash to
lengthen their stubby lashes – and even though they shared a
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room, they weren’t close. Carolyn was a quiet, demure, and
obedient girl, and although Emily was all those things too,
Carolyn seemed really satisfied to be that way.
Coach Lauren blew the whistle. ‘Kicking time! Line up!’
The swimmers lined up from fastest to slowest, kickboards
in front of them. Ben was in front of Emily. He
looked at her and raised an eyebrow.
‘I can’t come over tonight,’ she said quietly, so the other
boy swimmers – who were crowded around behind her and
laughing at Gemma Curran’s fake tan gone wrong – couldn’t
hear. ‘Sorry.’
Ben’s mouth flattened into a straight line. ‘Yeah. As if
that’s a surprise.’ Then, as Lauren blew the whistle, he
pushed off the wall and began dolphin-kicking. Uneasy,
Emily waited until Lauren blew the whistle again, and
pushed off behind him.
As she swam, Emily stared at Ben’s pumping legs. It was
so dorky how he wore a cap over his already-short hair. He
got so OCD before races, too, shaving off every hair on his
body, including the ones on his arms and legs. Now, his feet
made exaggeratedly huge splashes, which sprayed right into
Emily’s face. She glared at his head bobbing in front of her
and pumped her legs harder.
Even though she’d left five seconds behind him, Emily
reached the opposite wall at almost the same time Ben did.
He turned to her, pissed. Swim team etiquette dictated that
no matter how big a swimming star you were, if someone
caught your feet on a set, you let them go ahead of you. But
Ben just pushed back off the wall.
‘Ben!’ Emily called, the irritation in her voice showing.
He stood up in the shallow end and turned around.
‘What?’
‘Let me go in front of you.’
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Ben rolled his eyes and ducked back underwater.
Emily shoved off the wall and kicked crazily until she
caught up to him. He reached the wall and turned to face
her.
‘Would you stay off my ass?’ he practically yelled.
Emily burst out laughing. ‘You’re supposed to let me go!’
‘Maybe if you didn’t leave right on top of me you wouldn’t
be on top of me.’
She snorted. ‘I can’t help it if I’m faster than you.’
Ben’s mouth fell open. Oops.
Emily licked her lips. ‘Ben . . .’
‘No.’ He held up his hand. ‘Just go swim really fast,
okay?’ He tossed his goggles onto the deck. They bounced
awkwardly and landed back in the water, narrowly missing
Gemma’s fake-tanned shoulder.
‘Ben . . .’
He glared at her, then turned and got out of the pool.
‘Whatever.’
Emily watched him angrily push open the boys’ locker
room door.
She shook her head, watching the door slowly swing back
and forth. Then she remembered the thing Maya said yesterday.
‘Fuck a moose,’ she tried out quietly, and smiled.
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16
Never Trust an Invite Without a
Return Address
‘So are you coming over tonight?’ Hanna switched her
BlackBerry to her other ear and waited for Sean’s answer.
It was Thursday after school. She and Mona had just
met for a quick cappuccino on campus, but Mona had to
leave early to practice her drive for the mother/daughter
golf tournament she was competing in this weekend. Now,
Hanna sat on her front porch, talking to Sean and watching
the six-year-old twins next door draw surprisingly
anatomically correct naked boys in chalk all over their
driveway.
‘I can’t,’ Sean answered. ‘I’m really sorry.’
‘But Thursday is Nerve night; you know that!’
Hanna and Sean were hooked on this reality show
Nerve, which documented the lives of four couples who’d
met online. Tonight’s episode was extremely important,
because their favorite two characters, Nate and Fiona, were
about to do it. Hanna thought it might at least start a
conversation.
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‘I . . . I have a meeting tonight.’
‘A meeting for what?’
‘Um . . . V Club.’
Hanna’s mouth fell open. V Club? As in Virginity Club?
‘Can you skip it?’
He was quiet for a minute. ‘I can’t.’
‘Well, are you at least coming to Noel’s tomorrow?’
Another pause. ‘I don’t know.’
‘Sean! You have to!’ Her voice squeaked.
‘All right,’ he answered. ‘I guess Noel would be kinda
pissed if I didn’t.’
‘ I would be pissed too,’ Hanna added.
‘I know. See you tomorrow.’
‘Sean, wait—’ Hanna started. But he’d already hung up.
Hanna unlocked her house. Sean had to come to the party
tomorrow. She’d hatched a foolproof, romantic plan: She’d
take him to Noel’s woods, they’d confess their love for each
other, and then they’d have sex. V Club couldn’t argue with
having sex if you were in love, could it? Besides, the Kahn
woods were legendary. They were known as the Manhood
Woods, because so many guys at so many Kahn parties had
lost their virginity there. It was rumored that the trees whispered
sex secrets to new recruits.
She stopped at the mirror in the hallway and pulled up her
shirt to examine her taut stomach muscles. She swiveled sideways
to investigate her small, round butt. Then she bent
forward to look at her skin. Yesterday’s blotchiness was
gone. She bared her teeth. One bottom front tooth crossed
over a canine. Had they always been that way?
She threw her thick-strapped, gold leather handbag onto
the kitchen table and opened the freezer. Her mom didn’t
buy Ben & Jerry’s, so Tofutti Cutie 50-percent-less sugar
faux ice-cream sandwiches would have to do. She took out
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three and began to greedily unwrap the first one. As she took
a bite, she felt that familiar tug to eat more.
‘Here, Hanna, have another profiterole,’ Ali had whispered
to her that day they visited her dad in Annapolis. Then
Ali turned to Kate, her dad’s girlfriend’s daughter, and said,
‘Hanna’s so lucky – she can eat anything and not gain an
ounce!’
It wasn’t true, of course. That’s what made it so mean.
Hanna was already chubby and seemed to be getting more
so. Kate giggled, and Ali – who was supposed to be on
Hanna’s side – laughed too.
‘I got you something.’
Hanna jumped. Her mom sat at the little telephone table
in a hot pink Champion sports bra and black flared-leg yoga
pants. ‘Oh,’ Hanna said quietly.
Ms. Marin appraised Hanna, her eyes settling on the icecream
sandwiches in her hands. ‘Do you really need three?’
Hanna looked down. She’d chomped through one sandwich
in less than ten seconds, hardly even tasting it, and had
already unwrapped the next.
She smiled faintly at her mom and quickly stuffed the
remaining Cuties back into the freezer. When she turned
back around, her mother set a little blue Tiffany bag on the
table. Hanna looked at it questioningly. ‘This?’
‘Open it.’
Inside was a little blue Tiffany box, and inside that was
the complete Tiffany toggle set – the charm bracelet, round
silver earrings, plus the necklace. The very same kind she’d
had to hand over to the Tiffany’s woman at the police station.
Hanna held them up, letting them sparkle in the
overhead light. ‘Wow.’
Ms. Marin shrugged. ‘You’re welcome.’ Then, to signify
that the conversation was finished, she retreated to the den,
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unrolled her purple yoga mat, and turned on her Power Yoga
DVD.
Hanna slowly slid the earrings back in the bag, confused.
Her mom was so weird. That was when she noticed a
creamy, square card envelope sitting on the little telephone
table. Hanna’s name and address were typewritten in all
caps. She smiled. An invite to a sweet party was just the
thing she needed to cheer up.
Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth,
the soothing yogi instructed from the TV in the den. Ms.
Marin stood with her arms placidly by her sides. She didn’t
even move when her BlackBerry started singing Flight of the
Bumblebee, which meant she had an e-mail. This was her
Me time.
Hanna grabbed the envelope and climbed upstairs to her
room. She sat down on her four-poster bed, felt the edges of
her billion-thread-count sheets, and smiled at Dot, sleeping
peacefully on his doggie bed.
‘Come here, Dot,’ she whispered. He stretched and sleepily
climbed into her arms. Hanna sighed. Maybe she just had
PMS, and these jittery, uneasy, the-world-is-caving-in feelings
would go away in a few days.
She sliced the envelope open with her fingernail and
frowned. It wasn’t an invitation, and the note didn’t really
make sense.
Hanna,
Even Daddy doesn’t love you best! —A
What was that supposed to mean? But when she unfolded
the accompanying page stuffed inside the envelope, she
yelped.
It was a color printout from a private school’s online
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newsletter. Hanna looked at the familiar people in the photo.
The caption said, Kate Randall was Barnbury School’s
student speaker at the benefit. Pictured here with her
mother, Isabel Randall, and Ms. Randall’s fiancé, Tom
Marin.
Hanna blinked quickly. Her father looked the same as
when she’d last seen him. And although her heart stopped
when she read the word fiancé – when had that happened? –
it was the image of Kate that made her skin itch. Kate looked
more perfect than ever. Her skin was glowing and her hair
was perfect. She had her arms gleefully wrapped around her
mom and Mr. Marin.
Hanna would never forget the moment she first saw Kate.
Ali and Hanna had just gotten off Amtrak in Annapolis, and
at first Hanna saw only her dad leaning up against the hood
of his car. But then the car door opened, and Kate stepped
out. Her long chestnut hair was straight and shiny, and she
held herself like the kind of girl who’d taken ballet since she
was two. Hanna’s first instinct was to crouch behind a pole.
She looked at her snug jeans and stretched-out cashmere
sweater and tried not to hyperventilate. This was why Dad
left, she thought. He wanted a daughter who wouldn’t
embarrass him.
‘Oh my God,’ Hanna whispered, searching the envelope
for a return address. Nothing. Something occurred to her.
The only person who really knew about Kate was Alison.
Her eyes moved to the A on the note.
The Tofutti Cutie burbled in her stomach. She ran for the
bathroom and grabbed the extra toothbrush in the ceramic
cup next to the sink. Then she knelt down over the toilet and
waited. Tears dotted the corners of her eyes. Don’t start this
again, she told herself, gripping the toothbrush hard by her
side. You’re better than this.
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Hanna stood up and stared in the mirror. Her face was
flushed, her hair was strewn around her face, and her eyes
were red and puffy. Slowly, she put the toothbrush back in
the cup.
‘I’m Hanna and I’m fabulous,’ she said to her reflection.
But it didn’t sound convincing. Not at all.
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17
Duck, Duck, Goose!
‘Okay.’ Aria blew her long bangs out of her eyes. ‘In this
scene, you have to wear this colander on your head and talk
a lot about a baby we don’t have.’
Noel frowned and brought his thumb to his pink, bowshaped
lips. ‘Why do I have to wear a colander on my head,
Finland?’
‘Because,’ Aria answered. ‘It’s an absurdist play. It’s supposed
to be, like, absurd.’
‘Gotcha.’ Noel grinned. It was Friday morning, and they
were sitting on desks in English class. After yesterday’s
Waiting for Godot disaster, Ezra’s next assignment had been
for them to break up into groups and write their own existentialist
plays. Existentialist was another way of saying,
‘silly and out there.’ And if anyone could do silly and out
there, it was Aria.
‘I know something really absurd we could do,’ Noel said.
‘We could have this character drive a Navigator and, like,
after a couple of beers, crash it into his duck pond. But he’s,
like, fallen asleep at the wheel, so he doesn’t notice he’s in the
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duck pond until the next day. There could be ducks in the
Navigator.’
Aria frowned. ‘How could we stage all that? It sounds
impossible.’
‘I don’t know.’ Noel shrugged. ‘But that happened to me
last year. And it was really absurd. And awesome.’
Aria sighed. She hadn’t exactly chosen Noel to be her partner
because she thought he’d be a good cowriter. She looked
around for Ezra, but he unfortunately wasn’t watching them
in fitful jealousy. ‘How about if we make one of the characters
think he’s a duck?’ she suggested. ‘He could randomly quack.’
‘Um, sure.’ Noel wrote that down on a piece of lined
paper with a gnawed-up Montblanc pen. ‘Hey, maybe we
could shoot this with my dad’s Canon DV camera? And have
this as a movie instead of a boring play?’
Aria paused. ‘Actually, that would be kind of cool.’
Noel smiled. ‘Then we could keep the Navigator scene!’
‘I guess.’ Aria wondered if the Kahns really had a spare
Navigator to crash. Probably.
Noel nudged Mason Byers, who was paired up with
James Freed. ‘Dude. We’re going to have a Navigator in our
play! And pyrotechnics!’
‘Wait. Pyrotechnics?’ Aria asked.
‘Nice!’ Mason said.
Aria clamped her lips shut. Honestly, she didn’t have the
energy for this. Last night, she hardly slept. Plagued by
yesterday’s cryptic text message, she’d spent half the night
thinking and furiously knitting a purple hat with earflaps.
It was awful to think that someone knew not only about
her and Ezra, but also about that stuff with her dad. What if
this A person sent her mom messages next? What if A
already had? Aria didn’t want her mom to find out – not
now, and not that way.
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Aria also couldn’t shake the idea that the A message might
actually be from Alison. There just weren’t that many people
who knew. A few faculty members maybe, and Meredith
knew, obviously. But they didn’t know Aria.
If the text was from Alison, that meant she was alive.
Or . . . not. What if the texts were from Ali’s ghost? A ghost
could have easily slid between the cracks of the women’s
bathroom at Snookers. And spirits from the dead sometimes
contacted the living to make amends, right? It was like their
final homework assignment before graduating to heaven.
If Ali needed to make amends, though, Aria could think of
a more deserving candidate than her. Try Jenna. Aria put her
hands over her eyes, blocking out the memory. Screw therapy
that said you should face your demons: She tried to
block out The Jenna Thing as much as she tried to block out
her dad and Meredith.
Aria sighed. At times like this, she wished she hadn’t
drifted from her old friends. Like Hanna, a few desks over –
if only Aria could walk up to Hanna and talk to her about
this, ask her questions about Ali. But time really changed
people. She wondered if it would be easier to talk to Spencer
or Emily instead.
‘Hey there.’
Aria straightened up. Ezra was standing in front of her
desk. ‘Hi,’ she squeaked.
She met his blue eyes and her heart ached.
Ezra tilted his hips awkwardly. ‘How are you?’
‘Um, I’m . . . great. Really awesome.’ She sat up straight.
On the plane back from Iceland, Aria had read in a
Seventeen she found in her seat pocket that boys liked enthusiastic, positive girls. And since brilliant hadn’t worked
yesterday, why not try out peppy?
Ezra clicked and unclicked his Bic pen. ‘Listen, sorry to
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cut you off yesterday in the middle of your speech. Do you
want to give me your index cards so I can take a look at
them and grade you?’
‘Okay.’ Huh. Would Ezra do that for the other students?
‘So . . . how are you?’
‘Good.’ Ezra smiled. His lips twitched as if he wanted to
say more. ‘What’re you working on, there?’ He placed his
hands on her desk and leaned over to look at her notebook.
Aria stared at his hands for a moment, then slid her pinkie
finger up against his. She tried to make it look like an accident,
but he didn’t pull away. It felt like electricity was
surging between their two pinkies.
‘Mr. Fitz!’ Devon Arliss’s hand shot up in the back row. ‘I
have a question.’
‘Be right there,’ Ezra said, straightening up.
Aria put the pinkie finger that had touched Ezra’s into her
mouth. She watched him for a few seconds, thinking he
might come back to her, but he didn’t.
Well then. Back to plan J, for Jealous. She turned to Noel.
‘I think our movie should have a sex scene in it.’
She said it really loud, but Ezra was still bent over Devon’s
desk.
‘Awesome,’ Noel said. ‘Does the guy who thinks he’s a
duck get some?’
‘Yep. With a woman who kisses like a goose.’
Noel laughed. ‘How does a goose kiss?’
Aria turned toward Devon’s desk. Ezra was facing them
now. Good.
‘Like this.’ She leaned over and smacked Noel on the
cheek with her lips. Surprisingly, Noel smelled pretty good.
Like Kiehl’s Blue Eagle shaving cream.
‘Nice,’ Noel whispered.
The rest of the class burbled with activity, unaware of any
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goose kissing, but Ezra, still next to Devon’s desk, stood
absolutely still.
‘So did you know I’m having a party tonight?’ Noel put
his hand on Aria’s knee.
‘Yeah, I heard something about that.’
‘You should totally come. We’re going to have a lot of
beer. And other things . . . like Scotch. Do you like Scotch?
My dad has a collection, so . . .’
‘I love Scotch.’ Aria felt Ezra’s eyes burning into her back.
Then she leaned over to Noel, and said: ‘I’ll totally come to
your party tonight.’
By the way his pen fell out of his hand and clattered to the
ground, it wasn’t hard to guess whether or not Ezra had
heard them.
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18
Where’s Our Old Emily and What Have You
Done with Her?
‘Are you going to the Kahn party later?’ Carolyn asked,
steering the car into the Fieldses’ driveway.
Emily ran a comb through her still-wet hair. ‘I don’t
know.’ Today at practice, she and Ben hadn’t said two words
to each other, so she wasn’t exactly sure about going with
him. ‘Are you?’
‘I don’t know. Topher and I might just go to Applebee’s
instead.’
Of course Carolyn would have a hard time deciding
between a Friday night field party and Applebee’s.
They slammed the doors of the Volvo and walked up the
stone path to the Fieldses’ thirty-year-old colonial-style
house. It wasn’t nearly as big or flashy as most of the houses
in Rosewood. The blue-painted shingles were chipping a
little and some of the stones in the front path had disappeared.
The deck furniture looked kind of outdated.
Their mother greeted them at the front door, holding the
cordless phone. ‘Emily, I need to speak with you.’
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Emily glanced at Carolyn, who ducked her head and ran
upstairs. Uh-oh. ‘What’s up?’
Her mom smoothed her hands over her gray pleated
slacks. ‘I was on the phone with Coach Lauren. She said
your head seems to be somewhere else, not focused on swimming.
And . . . you missed practice on Wednesday.’
Emily swallowed hard. ‘I was tutoring some kids in
Spanish.’
‘That’s what Carolyn told me. So I called Ms. Hernandez.’
Emily stared down at her green Vans. Ms. Hernandez was
the Spanish teacher in charge of tutoring.
‘Don’t lie to me, Emily.’ Mrs. Fields frowned. ‘Where were
you?’
Emily walked into the kitchen and slumped into a chair.
Her mom was a rational person. They could discuss this.
She fiddled with the silver loop at the top of her ear. Years
ago, Ali had asked Emily to come to the Piercing Palace with
her when she got her belly button pierced, and they’d ended
up getting matching piercings at the top of their ears, too.
Emily still wore the same little silver hoop. Afterward, Ali
bought Emily a pair of leopard-print earmuffs to hide the
evidence. Emily still wore those earmuffs on the coldest days
in the winter.
‘Look,’ she finally said. ‘I was just hanging out with that
new girl, Maya. She’s really nice. We’re friends.’
Her mother looked confused. ‘Why didn’t you just do
something after practice, or on Saturday?’
‘I don’t see why it’s such a big deal,’ Emily said. ‘I missed
one day. I’ll swim a double this weekend – I promise.’
Her mother pursed her thin lips in a straight line and sat
down. ‘But Emily . . . I just don’t understand. When you signed
up for swimming this year, you made a commitment. You can’t
go running off with friends if you’re supposed to be swimming.’
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Emily stopped her. ‘ Signed up for swimming? Like I had a
choice?’
‘What’s going on with you? You’re using a strange tone of
voice; you’re lying about where you’ve been.’ Her mother
shook her head. ‘What’s with this lying? You’ve never lied
before.’
‘Mom . . . ’ Emily paused, feeling very tired. She wanted to point out that yes, she had lied, plenty. Even though she’d
been the good girl of her seventh-grade friends, she’d done
all kinds of stuff her mom never knew about.
Right after Ali went missing, Emily worried that Ali’s disappearance
was somehow . . . cosmically . . . her fault – as
punishment, maybe, for how Emily had secretly disobeyed
her parents. For getting that piercing. For The Jenna Thing.
Since then, she’d tried to be perfect, to do everything her parents
asked. She’d made herself into this model daughter,
inside and out.
‘I just like to know what’s going on with you,’ her mother
said.
Emily laid her hands on the place mat, remembering how
she’d become this version of herself that wasn’t really her. Ali wasn’t gone because Emily had disobeyed her parents – she
realized that now. And the same way she couldn’t imagine
sitting on Ben’s itchy couch, feeling his slimy tongue on her
neck, she also couldn’t see herself spending the next two
years of high school – and then the next four years of college
– in a pool for hours every day. Why couldn’t Emily just
be . . . Emily? Couldn’t her time be better served studying
or – God forbid – having some fun?
‘If you want to know what’s going on with me,’ Emily
started, pushing her hair out of her face. She took a deep
breath. ‘I don’t think I want to swim anymore.’
Mrs. Fields’s right eye twitched. Her lips parted slightly.
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Then she spun around to face the fridge, staring at all the
chicken magnets on the freezer. She didn’t speak, but her
shoulders shook. Finally, she turned. Her eyes were slightly
red, and her face looked saggy, as if she’d aged ten years in
just a few moments. ‘I’m calling your father. He’ll talk some
sense into you.’
‘I’ve already made up my mind.’ As she said it, she realized
she had.
‘No you haven’t. You don’t know what’s best for you.’
‘Mom!’ Emily suddenly felt tears fill her eyes. It was scary
and sad to have her mother angry with her. But now that
she’d made the decision, she felt like she’d finally been
allowed to take off a big goose down jacket in the middle of
a heat wave.
Her mom’s mouth trembled. ‘Is it because of that new
friend of yours?’
Emily cringed and wiped her nose. ‘What? Who?’
Mrs. Fields sighed. ‘That girl who moved into the
DiLaurentis house. She was the one you skipped practice to
spend time with, right? What were you two doing?’
‘We . . . we just went to the trail,’ Emily whispered. ‘And
talked.’
Her mother looked down. ‘I don’t have a good feeling
about girls . . . like that.’
Wait. What? Emily stared at her mother. She . . . knew?
But how? Her mom hadn’t even met Maya. Unless you could
look at her and just know?
‘But Maya’s really nice,’ Emily managed. ‘I forgot to tell
you, but she said the brownies were great. She said thank
you.’
Her mother pinched her lips together. ‘I went over there.
I was trying to be neighborly. But this . . . this is too much.
She’s not a good influence for you.’
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‘I don’t—’
‘Please, Emily,’ her mom interrupted.
Emily’s words stuck in her throat.
Her mom sighed. ‘There are just so many cultural differences
with . . . her . . . and I just don’t understand what you
and Maya have in common, anyway. And who knows about
her family? Who knows what they could be into?’
‘Wait, what?’ Emily stared at her mother. Maya’s family?
As far as Emily knew, Maya’s father was a civic engineer and
her mom worked as a nurse practitioner. Her brother was a
senior at Rosewood and a tennis prodigy; they were building
a tennis court for him in the backyard. What did her family
have to do with anything?
‘I just don’t trust those people,’ her mother said. ‘I know
that sounds really narrow-minded, but I don’t.’
Emily’s mind screeched to a halt. Her family. Cultural differences.
Those people? She went over everything her mother
just said. Oh. My. God.
Mrs. Fields wasn’t upset because she thought Maya was
gay. She was upset because Maya – and the rest of her
family – were black.
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19
Spicy Hot
Friday evening, Spencer lay on her maple four-poster bed in
the middle of her brand-new converted barn bedroom with
Icy Hot slathered on her lower back, staring at the gorgeous
beamed ceiling. You’d never guess that fifty years ago, cows
slept in this barn. The room was huge, with four gigantic
windows and a little patio. After dinner last night, she’d
moved all of her boxes and furniture there. She’d organized
all of her books and CDs according to author and artist, set
up her surround-sound, and even reset TiVo to her preferences,
including her brand-new favorite programs on BBC
America. It was perfect.
Except, of course, for her throbbing back. Her body ached
as if she’d gone bungee jumping without a ripcord. Ian had
made them run three miles – at a sprint – followed by practice
drills. All the girls had been talking about what they
were wearing to Noel’s party tonight, but after the hellish
practice, Spencer was just as happy to stay home with some
calc homework. Especially since home was now her very
own little barn utopia.
Spencer reached for the jar of Icy Hot and realized it was
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empty. She sat up slowly, and put her hand on her back like
an old woman. She’d just have to get some more from the
main house. Spencer just loved that she could now call it the main house. It felt terribly grown up.
As she crossed her long, hilly lawn, she let her mind return
to one of her favorite topics du jour, Andrew Campbell. Yes,
it was a relief that A was Andrew and not Ali, and yes, she
felt a billion times better and a zillion times less paranoid
since yesterday, but still – what a horrible, meddling spy!
How dare he ask such intrusive, gossipy questions in the
reading room and write her a creepy e-mail! And everyone
thought he was so sweet and innocent, with his perfectly
knotted tie and his luminous skin – he was probably the type
who brought Cetaphil to school and washed up after gym
class. Weirdo.
Shutting the door of the upstairs bathroom, she found the
jar of Icy Hot in the closet, pulled down her Nuala Puma
warm-up pants, twisted around to see herself in the mirror,
and started rubbing the balm all over her back and hamstrings.
The Icy Hot’s stinky menthol smell instantly wafted
around the room, and she closed her eyes.
The door burst open. Spencer tried to pull her pants up as
quickly as she could.
‘Oh my God,’ Wren said, his eyes wide. ‘I . . . shit. I’m
sorry.’
‘It’s all right,’ Spencer said, scrambling to tie her waistband.
‘I’m still confused about this house . . .’ Wren was wearing
his blue hospital scrubs, which consisted of a V-neck draped
top and tie-waist wide-leg pants. He looked all ready for bed.
‘I thought this was our bedroom.’
‘Happens all the time,’ Spencer said, even though it obviously
didn’t.
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Wren paused in the doorway. Spencer felt him looking at
her and quickly looked down to make sure her boob wasn’t
hanging out and there wasn’t a glob of Icy Hot on her neck.
‘So, um, how’s the barn?’ Wren asked.
Spencer grinned, then self-consciously covered her
mouth. Last year, she’d had her teeth whitened at the dentist
and they’d come out looking a little too white. She’d had to
purposely dull them with tons of coffee. ‘Awesome. How’s
my sister’s old bedroom?’
Wren smiled wryly. ‘Um. It’s rather . . . pink.’
‘Yeah. All those frilly curtains,’ Spencer added.
‘I found a disturbing CD, too.’
‘Oh yeah? What?’
‘ Phantom of the Opera.’ He grimaced.
‘But aren’t you into plays?’ Spencer blurted out.
‘Well, Shakespeare and stuff.’ Wren raised an eyebrow.
‘How’d you know that?’
Spencer paled. It might sound sort of weird if she told
Wren she’d Googled him. She shrugged and leaned back on
the counter. A shooting pain exploded through her lower
back, and she winced.
Wren hesitated. ‘What’s the matter?’
‘Um, you know.’ Spencer leaned against the sink. ‘Field
hockey again.’
‘What’d you do this time?’
‘Pulled something. See the Icy Hot?’ Holding her towel in
one hand, she reached for the jar, scooped some into her
palm, and slid her hand down her pants to rub it into her
hamstring. She groaned slightly, and hoped it was a sexysounding
groan. Fine, so sue her for being a teensy bit
dramatic.
‘Do you need some help?’
Spencer hesitated. But Wren looked so concerned. And it
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was excruciating – well, painful, anyway – to twist her back
that way, even if she was doing it on purpose.
‘If you don’t mind,’ she said softly. ‘Thanks.’
Spencer nudged the door a little more closed with her
foot. She smeared the Icy Hot goop from her hand onto his.
Wren’s large hands felt sexy all slimed up with balm. She
caught sight of their figures in the mirror and shivered. They
looked awesome together.
‘So where’s the damage?’ Wren asked.
Spencer pointed. The muscle was right below her butt.
‘Hang on,’ she murmured. She grabbed a towel from the
rack, wrapped it around herself, and then slid off her pants
under the towel. She motioned to where it hurt, indicating
that Wren reach below the towel. ‘But, um, try not to get too
much on the towel,’ she said. ‘I begged my mom to order
these special from France a couple years ago, and Icy Hot
ruins them. You can’t get the smell out in the wash.’
She heard Wren stifle a laugh and stiffened. Had that
come out way too uptight and Melissa-ish?
Wren slicked back his floppy hair with his goop-free hand
and knelt down, slathering the Icy Hot on her skin. He
reached his hands under her towel and began to rub slow,
gentle circles across her muscles. Spencer relaxed and then
leaned into him slightly. He stood but didn’t back away from
her. She felt his breath on her shoulder, and then on her ear.
Her skin felt radiant and fiery.
‘Feel better?’ Wren murmured.
‘Feels amazing.’ She might have said it in her head, she
wasn’t sure.
I should do it, Spencer thought. I should kiss him. He pressed his hands more firmly on her back, his nails digging
in a little. Her chest fluttered.
In the hall, the phone rang.
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‘Wren, dear?’ Spencer’s mother called from downstairs.
‘Are you upstairs? Melissa’s on the phone for you.’
He sprang backward. Spencer jolted forward and pulled
the towel around her. He quickly wiped the Icy Hot off his
hands onto another towel. Spencer was too panicked to tell
him not to. ‘Um,’ he murmured.
She looked away. ‘You should . . .’
‘Yeah.’
He pushed the door back open. ‘I hope that worked.’
‘Yeah, thanks,’ she murmured back, closing the door
behind him. Then she draped herself over the sink and stared
at her reflection.
Something flickered in the mirror, and for a second, she
thought someone was by the shower. But it was only the
flapping shower curtain, lifted by a breeze from the open
window. Spencer turned back to the sink.
They’d spilled a few globs of Icy Hot on the counter. It
was white and gooey, sort of like frosting. With her pointer
finger, Spencer spelled out Wren’s name. Then she drew a
heart around it.
Spencer considered leaving it there. But when she heard
Wren stomp down the hall and say, ‘Hey, love. Missed you,’
she frowned and rubbed it out with the heel of her hand.
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20
All Emily Needs Is a Light Saber and a
Black Helmet
It was just getting dark as Emily slid into Ben’s green Jeep
Cherokee. ‘Thanks for convincing my parents that my punishment
starts tomorrow.’
‘No prob,’ Ben answered. He didn’t give her a hello kiss.
And he was blasting Fall Out Boy, who he knew Emily hated.
‘They’re kinda pissed at me.’
‘I heard.’ He kept his eyes on the road.
Interesting that Ben didn’t ask why. Maybe he already
knew. Bizarrely, Emily’s father had come into her room earlier
and said, ‘Ben’s going to pick you up in twenty minutes.
Be ready.’ O kay. Emily had thought she was grounded for
life for denouncing the Swimming Gods, but she had the feeling
they actually wanted her to go out with Ben. Maybe he’d
talk some sense into her.
Emily heaved a sigh. ‘Sorry about practice yesterday. I’m
just under some stress.’
Ben finally turned down the volume. ‘It’s all right. You’re
just confused.’
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Emily licked her just-ChapSticked lips. Confused? About
what?
‘I’ll forgive you this time,’ Ben added. He reached over
and squeezed her hand.
Emily bristled. This time? And shouldn’t he say he was
sorry too? He had, after all, stormed off into the locker room
like a baby.
They pulled through the Kahns’ open wrought-iron gates.
The property was set back from the road, so the driveway
was half a mile long and surrounded by tall, thick pines.
Even the air smelled cleaner. The redbrick house sat behind
massive Doric columns. It had a portico with a little horse
statue on top and a gorgeous all-glass sun room off to the
side. Emily counted fourteen windows on the second floor,
from one end to the other.
But the house didn’t matter tonight. They were going to
the field. It was set way off from the property by high,
British-racing-green hedges and a stone wall and went on for
acres. Half of it housed the Kahn horse farm; on the other
side were a huge lawn and a duck pond. Surrounding the
whole yard were thick woods.
As Ben parked the car in a makeshift grass parking lot,
Emily climbed out, hearing The Killers blaring from the
backyard. Familiar faces from Rosewood climbed out of
their Jeeps, Escalades, and Saabs. A group of immaculately
made-up girls took cigarette packs out of their little chainlink
quilted bags and lit up, talking on their tiny cell phones.
Emily looked down at her worn blue Converse All-Stars and
touched her messy ponytail.
Ben caught up with her and they cut through the hedges
and across a secluded stretch of woods and entered the party
zone. There were a lot of kids Emily didn’t know, but that
was because the Kahns invited all the it kids from the area’s
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other private schools, in addition to Rosewood. There were
a keg and a drinks table by the bushes, and they’d set up a
wooden dance floor, tiki lights, and tents in the middle of the
field. On the other side of the field, near the woods, there
was an old-school photo booth lit up with Christmas lights.
The Kahns dragged it out of their basement for this party
every year.
Noel greeted them. He wore a gray T-shirt that said WILL
FLEX FOR FOOD, ripped-up faded blue jeans, and no shoes or
socks. ‘What up.’ He handed them both a beer.
‘Thanks, man.’ Ben took his cup and started drinking. The
amber beer messily dribbled down his chin. ‘Nice party.’
Someone tapped Emily on the shoulder.
Emily turned. It was Aria Montgomery, wearing a tight,
faded red University of Iceland T-shirt, a frayed denim mini,
and red John Fluevog cowboy boots. Her black hair was
pulled back into a high ponytail.
‘Wow, hi,’ Emily said. She’d heard Aria was back but she
hadn’t seen her yet. ‘How was Europe?’
‘Awesome.’ Aria smiled. The girls looked at each other for
a few seconds. Emily paused, wanting to tell Aria she was
glad she’d ditched her fake nose ring and pink hair stripes
but wondered if it would be weird to make a reference to
their old friendship. She took a sip of her beer and pretended
to be fascinated with the ridges on the cup.
Aria fidgeted. ‘Listen, I’m glad you’re here. I’ve been
wanting to talk to you.’
‘You have?’ Emily met her eyes and then looked back
down.
‘Well . . . either you or Spencer.’
‘Really?’ Emily felt her chest tighten. Spencer?
‘So, promise me you won’t think I’m crazy. I’ve been away
for such a long time, and . . .’ Aria made a puckered face that
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Emily remembered well. It meant she was considering her
words carefully.
‘And what?’ Emily raised her eyebrows, waiting. Maybe
Aria wanted all her old friends to have a reunion – of course,
being away, she wouldn’t know how far apart they’d grown.
How uncomfortable would that be?
‘Well . . .’ Aria looked around warily. ‘Was there any more
news about Ali’s disappearance while I was away?’
Emily jerked back, hearing Ali’s name come out of her old
friend’s mouth. ‘Her disappearance? What do you mean?’
‘Like, did they ever find out who took her? Did she ever
come back?’
‘Um . . . no . . .’ Emily chewed on her thumbnail uncomfortably.
Aria leaned into Emily. ‘Do you think she’s dead?’
Emily’s eyes widened. ‘I . . . I don’t know. Why? ’
Aria set her jaw. She looked deep in thought.
‘What’s this about?’ Emily asked, her heart pounding.
‘Nothing.’
Then Aria’s eyes focused on someone behind her. She
clamped her mouth shut.
‘Hey,’ said a gravelly voice behind Emily.
Emily turned. Maya. ‘Hey,’ she answered, nearly dropping
her cup. ‘I . . . I didn’t know you were coming.’
‘I didn’t either,’ Maya said. ‘But my brother wanted to.
He’s here somewhere.’
Emily turned to introduce Aria, but she was gone.
‘So is this Maya?’ Ben reappeared next to them. ‘The girl
that’s turned Emily to the dark side?’
‘Dark side?’ Emily squeaked. ‘What dark side?’
‘Quitting swimming,’ Ben answered. He turned to Maya.
‘You know she’s quitting, right?’
‘You are?’ Maya turned to Emily and grinned excitedly.
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Emily shot Ben a look. ‘Maya didn’t have anything to do
with that. And we don’t have to talk about it now.’
Ben took another big sip of beer. ‘Why not? Isn’t it your
big news?’
‘I don’t know . . .’
‘Whatever.’ He clapped his heavy hand on her shoulder a
little roughly. ‘I’m going to get another beer. You want
another?’
Emily nodded, even though she only ever drank one beer
at parties, max. Ben didn’t ask Maya if she wanted a drink.
As he walked away, she noticed his saggy jeans. Yuck.
Maya took Emily’s hand and squeezed. ‘How’s it feel?’
Emily stared at their entwined hands, blushed, but kept
holding on. ‘Good.’ Or scary. Or, at some moments, like a
bad movie. ‘Confusing, but good.’
‘I have just the thing to celebrate with,’ Maya whispered.
She reached into her Manhattan Portage knapsack and
showed Emily the top of a Jack Daniel’s bottle. ‘Stole it from
the liquor table. Wanna help kill it with me?’
Emily gazed at Maya. Her hair was pulled off her face,
and she wore a simple black sleeveless shirt and an army
green cargo skirt. She looked effervescent and fun – way
more fun than Ben in his saggy-butt jeans.
‘Why not?’ she answered, and followed Maya toward the
woods.
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21
Hot Girls – They’re Just Like Us!
Hanna took a sip of her vodka lemonade and lit another cigarette.
She hadn’t seen Sean since they parked his car on the
Kahns’ lawn two hours ago, and even Mona had vanished.
Now she was stuck talking to Noel’s best friend, James
Freed, Zelda Millings – a beautiful blond girl who only wore
clothes and shoes made out of hemp – and a bunch of
squeally, cliquey girls from Doringbell Friends, the ultra-hip
Quaker school in the next town over. The girls had come to
Noel’s party last year and even though Hanna had hung out
with them then, she couldn’t remember any of their names.
James stubbed out his Marlboro on the heel of his Adidas
shell-tops and took a swig of beer. ‘I heard Noel’s brother
has a ton of pot.’
‘Eric?’ asked Zelda. ‘Where’s he at?’
‘Photo booth,’ James answered.
Suddenly, Sean darted through the pines. Hanna stood
up, adjusted her hopefully slimming BCBG slip dress, and
tied the straps of her brand-new pale blue Christian
Louboutin sandals back around her ankles. As she ran to
catch up with him, her heel sunk into the dewy grass. She
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flailed her arms, dropped her drink, and suddenly she was
on her butt.
‘And she’s down!’ James called out drunkenly. The
Doringbell girls all laughed.
Hanna quickly scrambled up, pinching her palm to keep
herself from crying. This was the biggest party of the year,
but she felt way off her game: Her dress felt snug around her
hips, she hadn’t been able to get Sean to crack a smile during
the car ride over here – despite the fact that he’d scored his
dad’s BMW 760i for the night – and she was on her third
calorie-laden vodka lemonade and it was only nine-thirty.
Sean held out his hand to help her up. ‘Are you okay?’
Hanna hesitated. Sean was dressed in a plain white T-shirt
that accentuated his strong-from-soccer chest and flat-fromgood-
genes stomach, dark blue Paper Denim jeans that made
his butt look awesome, and ragged black Pumas. His
blondish brown hair was messily styled, his brown eyes
looked extra soulful, and his pink lips extra kissable. For the
past hour, she’d watched Sean bond with every guy there and
carefully avoid her.
‘I’m fine,’ she said, sticking her lip out in a Hannapatented
pout.
‘What’s the matter?’
She tried to balance in her shoes. ‘Can we . . . go somewhere
private for a while? Maybe the woods? To talk?’
Sean shrugged. ‘Okay.’
Yes.
Hanna led Sean down a path to the Manhood Woods, the
trees casting long, dark shadows across their bodies. The
only other time Hanna had ever been here was in seventh
grade, when her friends had a secret rendezvous with Noel
Kahn and James Freed. Ali made out with Noel, Spencer
made out with James, and she, Emily, and Aria sat on logs,
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shared cigarettes, and miserably waited for them to finish.
Tonight, she vowed, would be different.
She sat down on a thick patch of grass and pulled Sean
down with her. ‘You having fun?’ She passed her drink to
Sean.
‘Yeah, it’s cool.’ Sean took a small sip. ‘You?’
Hanna hesitated. Sean’s skin shone in the moonlight. His
shirt had a tiny smear of dirt on it near the collar. ‘I guess.’
All right, chatting time was over. Hanna took the drink
out of Sean’s hand and grabbed his sweet, square jaw and
started to kiss him. There. It sort of sucked that the world
was kind of spinning, and that instead of tasting the inside of
Sean’s mouth, she tasted Mike’s Hard Lemonade, but whatever.
After a minute of kissing, she felt Sean pulling away.
Maybe this called for upping the ante a little. She hiked up
her navy dress, exposing her legs and tiny lavender Cosabella
lace thong. The woodsy air was cold. A mosquito landed on
her upper thigh.
‘Hanna,’ Sean said gently, reaching to pull her dress back
down. ‘This isn’t . . .’
He wasn’t fast enough, though; Hanna had already torn
the dress over her head. Sean’s eyes canvassed her whole
body. Amazingly, this was only the second time he’d seen her
in her underwear – unless you counted the week they spent
at his parents’ place in Avalon on the Jersey Shore, when she
was in her bikini. But that was different.
‘You don’t really want to stop, do you?’ She reached
toward him, hoping she looked smoldering yet wholesome.
‘Yeah.’ Sean caught her hand. ‘I do.’
Hanna wrapped herself up in her dress as best she could.
She probably had a hundred mosquito bites already. Her
lip trembled. ‘But . . . I don’t get it. Don’t you love me?’
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The words felt very small and frail coming out of her
mouth.
Sean took a long time to respond. Hanna heard another
couple from the party giggling nearby. ‘I don’t know,’ he
answered.
‘Jesus,’ Hanna said, rolling away from him. The vodka
lemonades sloshed in her stomach. ‘Are you gay?’ It came
out a little meaner than she meant it to.
‘No!’ Sean sounded hurt.
‘Well then what? Am I not hot enough?’
‘Of course not!’ Sean said, sounding shocked. He thought
for a moment. ‘You’re one of the prettiest girls I know,
Hanna. Why don’t you know that?’
‘What are you talking about?’ Hanna asked, disgusted.
‘I just . . . ,’ Sean started. ‘I just think that maybe if you
could have a little more respect for yourself—’
‘I have plenty of self-respect!’ Hanna shouted at him. She
shifted onto her butt, rolling onto a pine cone.
Sean stood up. He looked deflated and sad. ‘Look at you.’
His eyes traveled from her shoes to the top of her head. ‘I’m
just trying to help you, Hanna – I care about you.’
Hanna felt tears gathering at the corners of her eyes and
tried to choke them back down. She would not cry right
now. ‘I respect myself,’ she repeated. ‘I just wanted to . . .
to . . . show you how I feel.’
‘I’m just trying to be choosy about sex.’ He sounded not
kind, but not mean, either. Just . . . detached. ‘I want it to be
at the right time with the right person. And it doesn’t look
like that’s going to be you.’ Sean sighed and took a step away
from her. ‘I’m sorry.’ Then he pushed through the trees and
was gone.
Hanna was so embarrassed and angry, she couldn’t speak.
She tried to stand up to follow Sean, but her heel caught
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again and she fell over. She splayed her arms out and stared
up at the stars, holding her thumbs over her eyes, so tears
wouldn’t pour out of them.
‘She looks like she might puke.’
Hanna opened one eye and saw two freshman boys –
most likely crashers – hovering over her as if she were a girl
they’d created on their computers.
‘Fuck off, pervs,’ she said to the ogling freshmen as she
stood up. Across the lawn, she could see Sean running after
Mason Byers, wielding a yellow croquet mallet. Hanna
sniffed as she brushed herself off and headed back toward the
party. Didn’t anyone care about her? She thought of the letter she’d gotten yesterday. Even Daddy doesn’t love you best!
Hanna wished, suddenly, that she had her dad’s number,
her mind flashing back to that day she’d met her dad and
Isabel and Kate with Ali.
Although it had been February, the weather in Annapolis
had been freakishly warm, and Hanna, Ali, and Kate had
been sitting outside on the porch, trying to get tan. Ali and
Kate were bonding over their favorite shades of MAC nail
polish, but Hanna couldn’t get into it. She felt heavy and
awkward. She’d seen Kate’s relieved expression when she
and Ali first emerged from the train – surprise at how gorgeous
Ali was, and then relief when she laid eyes on Hanna.
It was as if Kate was thinking, Well, I don’t need to worry
about her!
Without realizing it, Hanna had eaten the entire bowl of
cheese popcorn that was on the table. And six of the profiteroles.
And some of the Brie wedge that was meant for
Isabel and her dad. She clutched her bloated stomach, gazed
at Ali’s and Kate’s flat six-packs, and groaned out loud,
without meaning to.
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‘Little piggy doesn’t feel good?’ Hanna’s dad asked,
squeezing her small toe.
Hanna shuddered at the memory and touched her nowslim
stomach. A – whoever A was – was totally right. Her
dad didn’t love her best.
‘Everyone in the pond!’ Noel shouted, snapping Hanna
out of her thoughts.
Across the field, Hanna watched Sean pull off his T-shirt
and run toward the water. Noel, James, Mason, and some
other boys threw off their shirts, but Hanna didn’t even care.
Of all the nights to see Rosewood’s hottest boys without
their shirts on . . .
‘They’re all so gorgeous,’ murmured Felicity McDowell,
who was mixing tequila with Fanta Grape, next to her.
‘Aren’t they?’
‘Mmm,’ she muttered.
Hanna ground her teeth together. Fuck her happy father
and his perfect soon-to-be stepdaughter, and fuck Sean and
his choosiness! She grabbed a bottle of Ketel One from the
table and drank straight from it. She put the bottle back
down but at the last second decided to bring it to the pond
with her. Sean wasn’t going to get away with dumping her,
insulting her, and then straight-up ignoring her. No way.
She stopped at a pile of clothes that were no doubt
Sean’s – the jeans were neatly folded, and he’d anally stuffed
his little white socks into his Pumas. Making sure no one was
looking, she balled up the jeans in her hands and started
backing away from the pond. What would the V Club say if
they caught him driving home in his boxers?
As she walked toward the trees with Sean’s jeans, something
fell and bounced off her foot. Hanna picked it up and
stared at it for a moment, waiting for her vision to undouble.
The key to the BMW.
‘Sweet,’ she whispered, stroking the alarm button with her
finger. Then she dropped the jeans back on the ground and
shoved the keys into her blue quilted Moschino bag.
It was a gorgeous night for a drive.
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22
Beer Baths Are Good for the Pores
‘Check it out,’ Maya whispered excitedly. ‘There used to be
one of these in my favorite café back in Cali!’
Emily and Maya stared at the old-school photo booth at
the perimeter of Noel’s yard and the woods. A long,
orange extension cord wound its way to the booth from
Noel’s house across the lawn. As they admired it, Noel’s
older brother, Eric, and a very-giddy Mona Vanderwaal
fell out of the booth, grabbed their photos, and skipped
away.
Maya glanced at Emily. ‘Wanna try it?’
Emily nodded. Before they ducked inside, she quickly
glanced around the party. Some kids were gathered around
the keg and a lot of other people held their red plastic cups
in the air as they danced. Noel and a bunch of boys were
swimming in the duck pond in their boxers. Ben was
nowhere to be seen.
Emily sat beside Maya on the photo booth’s little orange
seat and closed the curtain. They were so squeezed together,
their shoulders and thighs touched.
‘Here.’ Maya handed her the Jack Daniel’s bottle and hit
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the green start button. Emily did a shot, then held it up
triumphantly as the camera snapped the first picture. Then
they squished their faces together and donned huge grins.
Emily rolled her eyes back into her head, and Maya puffed
her cheeks out like a monkey for the third picture. Then the
camera caught them looking seminormal, if maybe a bit
nervous.
‘Let’s go see how they look,’ Emily said.
But as she stood up, Maya grabbed her sleeve. ‘Can we
stay in here a sec? This is such a great hiding spot.’
‘Um, sure.’ Emily sat back down. She swallowed loudly,
without meaning to.
‘So, how have you been?’ Maya asked, pushing hair out of
Emily’s eyes.
Emily sighed, trying to get comfy on the cramped seat.
Confused. Upset at my possibly racist parents. Afraid I made the wrong decision about swimming. Kinda freaked that I’m
sitting so close to you.
‘I’m all right,’ she said finally.
Maya snorted and took a swig of whiskey. ‘I don’t believe
that for one second.’
Emily paused. Maya seemed like the only person who
actually understood her. ‘Yeah, I guess not,’ she said.
‘Well, what’s going on?’
But suddenly, Emily didn’t want to talk about swimming
or Ben or her parents. She wanted to talk about . . . something
else completely. Something that had been slowly
dawning on her. Maybe seeing Aria had triggered it. Or
maybe finally having a real friend again had brought the feeling
back. Emily thought Maya would understand.
She took a deep breath. ‘So, you know that girl Alison, the
one who used to live in your house?’
‘Yeah.’
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‘We were really close and I, like, really loved her. Like,
everything about her.’
She heard Maya breathe out and nervously took another
sip of Jack Daniel’s from the bottle.
‘We were best friends,’ Emily said, rubbing her fingers
between the ratty blue fabric of the photo booth curtain. ‘I
cared about her so much. So this one day, sort of out of the
blue, I did it.’
‘Did what?’
‘Well, Ali and I were in this tree house in her backyard –
we went there a lot to talk. We were sitting up there, talking
about this guy that she liked, some older boy whose name
she wouldn’t say, and I just felt like I couldn’t hold any of it
in anymore. So I leaned over . . . and kissed her.’
Maya made a small sniffing noise.
‘She wasn’t into it, though. She was even kind of distant
and said, like, “Well, now I know why you get so quiet when
we’re changing for gym!”’
‘God,’ Maya said.
Emily took another sip of whiskey and felt dizzy. She’d
never had this much to drink. And here was one of her
biggest secrets, hanging out like granny underwear on a
clothesline. ‘Ali said she didn’t think best friends should kiss,’
she went on. ‘So I tried to play it off as a joke. But when I
went home, I realized how I really felt. So I wrote her this
letter, telling her that I loved her. I don’t think she ever got it,
though. If she did, she never said anything.’
A tear plopped on Emily’s bare knee. Maya noticed it, and
smeared it with her finger.
‘I still think about her a lot.’ Emily sighed. ‘I’d sort of
pushed that memory back, told myself it was just about her
being my very best friend but not anything, you know . . .
else . . . but now I don’t know.’
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They sat there for a few minutes. The party sounds filtered
in. Every few seconds, Emily heard the rough flicker of
someone’s Zippo lighting a cigarette. She wasn’t that surprised
about what she’d just said about Ali. It was scary, of
course – but it was also the truth. In a way, it felt good to
have finally figured it out.
‘Since we’re sharing,’ Maya said quietly, ‘I have something
to tell you, too.’
She turned her forearm over to show Emily the white,
raised scar on her wrist. ‘You might have seen this.’
‘Yeah,’ Emily whispered, squinting at it in the pale, semidarkness
of the booth.
‘It’s from one of the times I cut myself with a razor blade.
I didn’t know it was going to go so deep. There was so much
blood. My parents took me to the emergency room.’
‘You cut yourself on purpose?’ Emily whispered.
‘Um . . . yeah. I mean, I don’t really do it anymore. I try
not to.’
‘Why do you do that?’
‘I don’t know,’ Maya said. ‘Sometimes I just . . . feel like I
need to. You can touch it, if you want.’
Emily did. It was puckered and smooth, not like real skin
at all. Touching it felt like the most intimate thing Emily had
ever done. She reached over to hug Maya.
Maya’s body shook. She buried her head in Emily’s neck.
Like before, she smelled like artificial bananas. Emily pressed
herself to Maya’s slight chest. What was it like to cut yourself,
to watch yourself bleed like that? Emily had her fair
share of baggage, but even in the wake of her absolute worst
memories – like of when Ali rejected her, or of The Jenna
Thing – she’d felt guilty and horrible and strange, but she’d
never wanted to hurt herself.
Maya raised her head and met Emily’s eyes. Then smiling
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a little sadly, she kissed Emily’s lips. Emily blinked at her, surprised.
‘Sometimes best friends do kiss,’ Maya said. ‘See?’
They hung apart, nose practically touching nose. Outside,
the crickets sawed away furiously.
Then Maya reached for her. Emily melted into her lips.
Their mouths were open and she felt Maya’s soft tongue.
Emily’s chest clenched up excitedly as she raked her hands
through Maya’s rough hair, then down to her shoulders,
then her back. Maya stuck her hands under Emily’s polo
shirt and pressed her fingers flat against her belly. Emily selfconsciously flinched but then relaxed. This felt a zillion
times different than kissing Ben.
Maya’s hands traveled up her body and felt over her bra.
Emily shut her eyes. Maya’s mouth tasted delicious, like
Jack Daniel’s and licorice. Next, Maya kissed Emily’s chest
and shoulders. Emily threw her head back. Someone had
painted a moon and a bunch of stars on the photo booth’s
ceiling.
Suddenly, the curtain started to open. Emily jumped, but
it was too late – someone had torn the curtain back completely.
Then Emily saw who it was. ‘Oh my God,’ she
sputtered.
‘Shit,’ Maya echoed. The Jack Daniel’s bottle swished
onto the floor.
Ben held two cups of beer, one in each hand. ‘Well. This
explains things.’
‘Ben . . . I . . .’ Emily scrambled out of the booth, bumping
her head on the door.
‘Don’t get up for me,’ Ben said in a horrible, mocking,
angry-yet-hurt voice Emily had never heard before.
‘No . . . ,’ Emily squeaked. ‘You don’t understand.’ She
climbed out of the booth completely. So did Maya. Out of
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the corner of her eye, Emily noticed Maya pick up their strip
of photos and stuff it into her pocket.
‘Don’t even talk,’ Ben spat. Then he turned and threw one
of the cups of beer at her. It splashed warmly all over Emily’s
legs, her shoes, and her shorts. The cup bounced crazily into
the bushes.
‘Ben!’ Emily cried.
Ben hesitated, then threw the other one more directly at
Maya. It splashed her face and hair. Maya screamed.
‘Stop it!’ Emily gasped.
‘You fucking dykes,’ Ben said. She heard the crackly tears
in his voice. Then he turned and ran crookedly into the
darkness.
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23
Icelandic Aria Gets What She Wants
‘Finland! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!’
It was an hour later, and Aria was just stepping out of
the photo booth. Noel Kahn stood in front of her, naked
except for his Calvin Klein boxers, which were wet and
clingy. He was holding a yellow plastic cup of beer and her
just-developed strip of pictures. Noel shook his hair around
a little, and water from his hair sprayed onto her APC
miniskirt.
‘Why are you all wet?’ Aria asked.
‘We were playing water polo.’
Aria glanced at the pond. The boys were batting one
another in the heads with pink fun-noodles. On the banks,
girls in nearly identical Alberta Ferrari minidresses huddled
together, gossiping. Over by the hedges, not that far from
them, she spied her brother, Mike. He was with a petite girl
in a plaid micromini and platform heels.
Noel followed her gaze. ‘That’s one of those Quaker
school girls,’ he murmured. ‘Those chicks are nuts.’
Mike glanced up and saw Aria and Noel together. He gave
Aria an approving nod.
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Noel tapped Aria’s photo strip with his thumb. ‘These are
gorgeous.’
Aria looked at them. Bored out of her skull, she’d been
taking pictures of herself in the booth for twenty minutes.
This round, she’d made sultry, sex-kitten expressions.
Très sigh . She’d come here thinking that Ezra, jealous and lustful, would come and whisk her away. But, duh, he was a
teacher, and a teacher wouldn’t go to a students’ party.
‘Noel!’ James Freed called from across the lawn. ‘Keg’s
tapped!’
‘Shit,’ Noel said. He gave Aria a wet kiss on her cheek.
‘This beer’s for you. Don’t leave.’
‘Uh-huh,’ Aria said drolly, watching him scamper away,
his boxers slowly sliding down to reveal his pale, definedfrom-
running butt.
‘He really likes you, you know.’
Aria turned. Mona Vanderwaal sat on the ground a few
feet away. Her blond hair was in coils around her face and
her gold-rimmed bug-eye sunglasses had slid down her nose.
Noel’s older brother, Eric, had his head in her lap.
Mona blinked slowly. ‘Noel’s awesome. He’d make such a
good friendboy.’
Eric burst out laughing. ‘What?’ Mona bent down to him.
‘What’s so funny?’
‘She’s so stoned,’ Eric said to Aria.
As Aria scoured her brain for something to say, her Treo
beeped. She wrenched it out of her purse and looked at the
number. Ezra. Oh my God, oh my God!
‘Um, hello?’ she answered quietly.
‘Hey. Um, Aria?’
‘Oh. Hey! What’s up?’ She tried to sound as controlled
and cool as possible.
‘I’m at home, having a Scotch, thinking about you.’
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Aria paused, closed her eyes, and a glow passed through
her. ‘Really?’
‘Yep. You at that big party?’
‘Uh-huh.’
‘You bored?’
She laughed. ‘A little.’
‘Wanna come by?’
‘Okay.’ Ezra started to give her directions, but Aria
already knew where it was. She’d looked up his address on
MapQuest and Google Earth, but she couldn’t exactly tell
him that.
‘Cool,’ she said. ‘See you soon.’
Aria shoved the phone back into her purse as calmly as
she could, and then banged the rubbery soles of her boots
together. Yesssss!!!
‘Hey, I know where I know you from.’
Aria looked over. Noel’s brother, Eric, was squinting at
her while Mona kissed his neck. ‘You’re the friend of that
chick who disappeared, right?’
Aria looked at him and pushed her hair out of her eyes. ‘I
don’t know who you’re talking about,’ she said, and walked
away.
A lot of Rosewood was gated estates and renovated fifty-acre
horse farms, but near the college there was a series of rambling,
cobblestone streets lined with falling-to-pieces
Victorian houses. The houses in Old Hollis were painted
crazy colors like purple, pink, and teal and were usually split
into apartments and leased to students. Aria’s family had
lived in an Old Hollis house until Aria was five, which was
when her dad got his first teaching job at the college.
As Aria drove slowly down Ezra’s street, she noticed one
house with Greek letters mounted onto its siding. Toilet
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paper wound through its trees. Another house had a halffinished
painting on an easel in the front yard.
She pulled up to Ezra’s house. After parking, she climbed
up the stone front steps and rang the bell. The door flung
open, and there he was.
‘Wow,’ he said. ‘Hey.’ His mouth spread into a wiggly
smile.
‘Hi,’ Aria answered, smiling back at him in the same way.
Ezra laughed. ‘I . . . um, you’re here. Wow.’
‘You already said wow,’ Aria teased.
They entered into a hallway. Ahead of her, a creaky staircase
with a different swatch of carpet on each step wound its
way upstairs. On the right, a door was ajar. ‘This apartment’s
mine.’
Aria walked in and noticed a claw-foot bathtub in the
middle of Ezra’s living room. She pointed at it.
‘It’s too heavy to move,’ Ezra said sheepishly. ‘So I store
books in there.’
‘Cool.’ Aria looked around, taking in Ezra’s gigantic bay
window, dusty built-in bookshelves, and yellow crushed
velvet sofa. It smelled faintly of macaroni and cheese but
there was a crystal chandelier hanging from the ceiling, a
funky mosaic tile around the mantel, and real logs in the fireplace.
This was so much more Aria’s style than the Kahns’
million-dollar duck pond and twenty-seven-room estate.
‘I totally want to live here,’ Aria said.
‘I can’t stop thinking about you,’ Ezra said at the same
time.
Aria looked over her shoulder. ‘Really?’
Ezra came up behind her and put his hands on her waist.
Aria leaned slightly into him. They stood there for a
moment, and then Aria turned. She stared at his cleanshaven
face, at the bump at the edge of his nose, the green
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flecks in his eyes. She touched a mole on his earlobe and felt
him shudder.
‘I just . . . couldn’t ignore you in class,’ he whispered. ‘It
was torture. When you were giving that report . . .’
‘You touched my hand today,’ Aria teased. ‘You were
looking at my notebook.’
‘You kissed Noel,’ Ezra said back. ‘I was so jealous.’
‘Then it worked,’ Aria whispered.
Ezra sighed and wrapped his arms around her. She met his
mouth with hers and they kissed feverishly, their hands
crawling up each other’s backs. They backed up for a second,
breathlessly staring into each other’s eyes.
‘No more talk about class,’ Ezra said.
‘Deal.’
He guided her into a tiny back bedroom that had clothes
all over the floor and an open bag of Lay’s on the nightstand.
They sat down on his bed. The mattress was barely
bigger than a twin, and even though the comforter was
made of stiff denim and the mattress probably had potato
chip crumbs in the cracks, Aria had never felt anything so
perfect in her life.
Aria was still on the bed, staring up at a crack in the ceiling.
The streetlight outside the window cast long shadows across
everything, turning Aria’s bare skin a weird shade of pink. A
stiff, chilly breeze from the open window blew out the sandalwood
candle next to the bed. She heard Ezra turn on the
faucet in the bathroom.
Wow. Wow wow wow!
She felt alive. She and Ezra had nearly had sex . . . but
then, at exactly the same time, they’d agreed that they should
wait. So then they’d snuggled up to each other, naked, and
started to talk. Ezra told her about the time he was six and
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sculpted a red squirrel out of clay, only to have his brother
squash it. How he used to smoke a lot of pot after his parents
got divorced. About the time he had to take the family’s
fox terrier to the vet to have her put to sleep. Aria told him
about how when she was little, she kept a can of split pea
soup named Pee as a pet and cried when her mom tried to
cook Pee for dinner. She told him about her furious knitting
habit and promised to knit him a sweater.
It was easy to talk to Ezra – so easy she could imagine
doing it forever. They could travel together to faraway
places. Brazil would be amazing . . . They could sleep in a
tree and eat nothing but plantains and write plays for the rest
of their lives . . .
Her Treo beeped. Ugh. It was probably Noel, wondering
what happened to her. She hugged one of Ezra’s pillows close
to her – mmm, it smelled just like him – and waited for him
to come out of the bathroom and kiss her some more.
Then it beeped again. And again and again.
‘Jesus,’ Aria groaned, leaning her naked body off the bed
to pull it out of her bag. Seven new text messages. More kept
beeping in.
Opening her inbox, Aria frowned. The messages all had
the same title: STUDENT-TEACHER CONFERENCE! Her stomach
turned as she opened the first one.
Aria,
That’s some kind of extra credit!
Love ya, A
P.S. Wonder what your mom would think if she found out
about your dad’s little, uh, study buddy . . . and that you
knew!
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Aria read the next text message and the next and the next.
All the messages said the same thing. She dropped the Treo
on the floor. She had to sit down.
No. She had to get out of here.
‘Ezra?’ She frantically peered out Ezra’s windows. Was she
watching, right this second? What did she want? Was it
really her? ‘Ezra, I have to go. It’s an emergency.’
‘What?’ Ezra called from behind the bathroom door.
‘You’re leaving?’
Aria couldn’t quite believe it, either. She yanked her shirt
over her head. ‘I’ll call you, okay? I just have to go do something.’
‘Wait. What?’ he asked, opening the bathroom door.
Aria grabbed her bag and tore out the door and across the
yard. She needed to get away. Now.
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24
There’s More Than Just Shoes and Jeans
in Spencer’s Closet
‘The limit of x is . . . ,’ Spencer murmured to herself. She
propped herself up on one elbow on her bed and stared at
her brand-new, just-covered-with-a-brown-bag calculus
book. Her lower back still burned with Icy Hot.
She checked her watch: It was after midnight. Was she
crazy to stress over her calc homework on the school year’s
first Friday night? The Spencer of last year would’ve whizzed
over to the Kahns’ in her Mercedes, drunk bad keg beer, and
maybe made out with Mason Byers or some other cute lax
boy. But not the Spencer of now. She was the Star, and the
Star had homework to do. Tomorrow, the Star was visiting
home design stores with her mom to properly accessorize the
barn. She might even hit Main Line Bikes with her dad in the
afternoon – he’d pored over some bicycling catalogues with
her during dinner, asking her which Orbea frame she liked
better. He’d never asked her opinion about bikes before.
She cocked her head. Was that a tiny, tentative knock at
the door? Putting down her mechanical pencil, Spencer
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gazed out the barn’s large front window. The moon was silvery
and full, and the windows of the main house blazed a
warm yellow. There was the knock again. She padded over
to the heavy wooden door and opened it a crack.
‘Hey,’ Wren whispered. ‘Am I interrupting?’
‘Of course not.’ Spencer opened the door wider. Wren
was barefoot, in a slim-fitting white T-shirt that said, UNIVERSITY
OF PENNSYLVANIA MEDICAL, and baggy khaki shorts.
She looked down at her black French Connection baby tee,
short track-star gray sweat shorts from Villanova, and bare
legs. Her hair was pulled back in a low, messy ponytail;
wisps hanging around her face. It was a completely different
look from her everyday Thomas Pink striped
button-down and Citizens jeans. That look said, I’m
sophisticated and sexy, this look said, I’m studying . . . but still sexy.
Okay, so maybe she’d planned for the off chance this
would happen. But it goes to show you shouldn’t just throw
on your high-waisted underwear and old, ratty I HEART PERSIAN
CATS T-shirt.
‘How’s it going?’ she asked. A warm breeze lifted the
wispy ends of her hair. A pine cone fell out of a nearby tree
with a thump.
Wren hovered in the doorway. ‘Shouldn’t you be out partying?
I heard there was a huge field party somewhere.’
Spencer shrugged. ‘Not into it.’
Wren met her eyes. ‘No?’
Spencer’s mouth felt cottony. ‘Um . . . where’s Melissa?’
‘She’s sleeping. Too much renovating, I guess. So I thought
maybe you could give me a tour of this fabulous barn I don’t
get to live in. I never even got to see it!’
Spencer frowned. ‘Do you have a housewarming gift?’
Wren paled. ‘Oh. I . . .’
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‘I’m kidding.’ She opened the door. ‘Enter the Spencer
Hastings barn.’
She’d spent some of the night daydreaming about all the
potential scenarios of being alone with Wren, but nothing
compared to actually having him right here, next to her.
Wren strolled over to her Thom Yorke poster and
stretched his hands behind his head. ‘You like Radiohead?’
‘Love.’
Wren’s face lit up. ‘I’ve seen them like twenty times in
London. Every show gets better.’
She smoothed down the duvet on her bed. ‘Lucky. I’ve
never seen them live.’
‘We have to remedy that,’ he said, leaning against her
couch. ‘If they come to Philly, we’re going.’
Spencer paused. ‘But I don’t think . . .’ Then she stopped.
She was about to say I don’t think Melissa likes them,
but . . . maybe Melissa wasn’t invited.
She led him to the walk-in closet. ‘This is my, um, closet,’
she said, accidentally bumping into the doorjamb. ‘It used to
be a milking station.’
‘Oh yeah?’
‘Yep. This is where the farmers squeezed the cow’s nipples
or whatever.’
He laughed. ‘Don’t you mean udders?’
‘Uh, yeah.’ Spencer blushed. Oops. ‘You don’t have to
look in there to be polite. I mean, I know closets aren’t that
interesting to guys.’
‘Oh no.’ Wren grinned. ‘I’ve come all this way; I
absolutely want to see what Spencer Hastings has in her
closet.’
‘As you wish.’ Spencer flicked on the closet light. The
closet smelled like leather, mothballs, and Clinique Happy.
She’d stashed all her undies, bras, nightgowns, and grubby
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hockey clothes in wicker pull-out baskets, and her shirts
hung in neat rows, arranged according to color.
Wren chuckled. ‘It’s like being in a shop!’
‘Yeah,’ Spencer said bashfully, running her hands against
her shirts.
‘I’ve never heard of a window in a closet.’ Wren pointed
to the open window on the far wall. ‘Seems funny.’
‘It was part of the original barn,’ Spencer explained.
‘You like people watching you naked?’
‘There are blinds,’ Spencer said.
‘Too bad,’ Wren said softly. ‘You looked so beautiful in
the bathroom . . . I hoped I’d get to see you . . . like that . . .
again.’
When Spencer whirled around – what did he just say? –
Wren was staring at her. He rubbed his fingers over the cuff
of a hung-up pair of Joseph trousers. She slid her Tiffany
Elsa Peretti heart ring up and down her finger, afraid to
speak. Wren took a step forward, then another, until he was
right next to her. Spencer could see the light smattering of
freckles over his nose. The well-behaved Spencer of a parallel
universe would have ducked around him and shown him
the rest of the barn. But Wren kept staring at her with his
huge, gorgeous brown eyes. The Spencer who was here now
rubbed her lips together, afraid to speak, yet dying to do . . .
something.
So then she did. She closed her eyes, reached up, and
kissed him right on the lips.
Wren didn’t hesitate. He kissed her back, then held on to
the back of her neck and kissed her harder. His mouth was
soft, and he tasted a tiny bit like cigarettes.
Spencer sank back into her wall of shirts. Wren followed.
A few slipped off the hangers, but Spencer didn’t care.
They sank down onto the soft carpeted floor. Spencer
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kicked her field hockey cleats out of the way. Wren rolled on
top of her, groaning slightly. Spencer grabbed fistfuls of his
worn T-shirt in her hands and pulled it over his head. He took
hers off next and ran his feet up and down her legs. They
rolled over and now Spencer was on top of him. A huge,
overwhelming surge of – well, she didn’t know what – overcame
her. Whatever it was, it was so intense it didn’t occur to
her to feel guilty. She paused over him, breathing hard.
He reached up and kissed her again, then kissed her nose
and her neck. Then he pushed himself up. ‘I’ll be right back.’
‘Why?’
He motioned his eyes to his left, the direction of her bathroom.
As soon as she heard Wren shut the door, Spencer threw
her head back onto the floor and stared dizzily up at her
clothes. Then she scrambled up and examined herself in the
three-way mirror. Her hair had come out of its ponytail and
cascaded over her shoulders. Her bare skin looked luminous,
and her face was slightly flushed. She grinned at the three
Spencers in the mirror. This. Was. Unbelievable.
That was when the reflection of her computer screen,
directly opposite her closet, caught her eye.
It was flashing. She turned around and squinted. It looked
like she had hundreds of instant messages, piled one on top
of the other. Another IM popped on the screen, this time
written in 72-point font. Spencer blinked.
A A A A A A: I already told you: Kissing your sister’s
boyfriend is WRONG.
Spencer ran up to her computer screen and read the IM
again. She turned and glanced toward the bathroom; a tiny
strip of light shone from underneath the door.
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A was definitely not Andrew Campbell.
When she kissed Ian back in seventh grade, she told
Alison about it, hoping for some advice. Ali examined her
French-manicured toenails for a long moment before she
finally said, ‘You know, I’ve been in your corner when it
comes to Melissa. But this is different. I think you should tell
her.’
‘Tell her?’ Spencer shot back. ‘No way. She’d kill me.’
‘What, do you think Ian’s going to go out with you?’ Ali
said nastily.
‘I don’t know,’ Spencer said. ‘Why not?’
Ali snorted. ‘If you don’t tell her, maybe I will.’
‘No you won’t!’
‘Oh yeah?’
‘If you tell Melissa,’ Spencer said after a moment, her
heart pounding wildly, ‘I’ll tell everyone about The Jenna
Thing.’
Ali barked out a laugh. ‘You’re just as guilty as I am.’
Spencer stared at Ali long and hard. ‘But no one saw me.’
She turned to Spencer and gave her a fierce, angry look –
scarier than any look she’d ever given any of the girls before.
‘You know I took care of that.’
Then there was that sleepover in the barn on the last day
of seventh grade. When Ali said how cute Ian and Melissa
were together, Spencer realized Ali really might tell on her.
Then, strangely, a light, free feeling swept over her. Let her,
Spencer thought. She suddenly didn’t care anymore. And
even though it sounded horrible to say now, the truth was,
Spencer wanted to be free of Ali, right then and there.
Now Spencer felt nauseous. She heard the toilet flush.
Wren strode out and stood in the closet’s doorway. ‘Now,
where were we?’ he cooed.
But Spencer still had her eyes on her computer screen.
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Something on it – a flicker of red – just moved. It looked
like . . . a reflection.
‘What’s the matter?’ Wren asked.
‘Shh,’ Spencer said. Her eyes focused. It was a reflection.
She spun around. There was someone outside her window.
‘Holy shit,’ Spencer said. She held her T-shirt up against
her naked chest.
‘What is it?’ Wren asked.
Spencer stepped back. Her throat was dry. ‘Oh,’ she
croaked.
‘Oh,’ Wren echoed.
Melissa stood outside the window, her hair messy and
Medusa-like, her face absolutely expressionless. A cigarette
shook in her tiny, usually steady fingers.
‘I didn’t know you smoked,’ Spencer finally said.
Melissa didn’t answer. Instead, she took one more drag,
threw the butt in the dewy grass, and turned back toward the
main house.
‘You coming, Wren?’ Melissa called frostily over her
shoulder.
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25
Student Drivers These Days!
Mona’s mouth dropped open when she came around the
corner to Noel’s front lawn. ‘Holy shit.’
Hanna leaned out the window of Sean’s father’s BMW
and grinned at Mona. ‘You love it?’
Mona’s eyes lit up. ‘I’m speechless.’
Hanna smiled gratefully and took a swig from the Ketel
One bottle she’d swiped from the booze table. Two minutes
ago, she’d texted Mona a picture of the BMW with the message,
I’m all lubed up and out front. Come ride me.
Mona opened the heavy passenger door and slid into the
seat. She leaned over and stared intensely at the BMW
insignia on the steering wheel. ‘It’s so beautiful . . .’ She
traced the little blue and white triangles with her pinkie.
Hanna flicked her hand off. ‘Get stoned much?’
Mona raised her chin and appraised Hanna’s dirty hair,
crooked dress, and tear-stained face. ‘Things didn’t go well
with Sean?’
Hanna looked down and jammed the key into the ignition.
Mona moved to hug her. ‘Oh Han, I’m sorry . . . What
happened?’
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‘Nothing. Whatever.’ Hanna jerked away and put on her
sunglasses – which made it a little hard to see, but who
cared? – and started the car. It burst into action, all of the
BMW’s dashboard lights switching on.
‘Pretty!’ Mona cried. ‘It’s like the lights at Club Shampoo!’
Hanna slammed the gear into reverse and the tires rolled
through the thick grass. Then she jerked it into drive, cut the
wheel, and off they went. Hanna was too keyed up to worry
about the fact that the double lines on the road were quadrupling
in her vision.
‘ Yee haw,’ Mona whooped. She rolled down the window
to let her long, blond hair flutter behind her. Hanna lit a
Parliament and swiveled the Sirius radio dial until she found
a retro rap station playing ‘Baby Got Back.’ She turned the
volume up and the cabin throbbed – of course the car had
the best bass money could buy.
‘That’s more like it,’ Mona said.
‘Hells yeah,’ Hanna answered.
As she navigated a sharp turn a little too quickly, something
in the back of her mind made a ping.
It’s not gonna be you.
Ouch.
Even Daddy doesn’t love you best!
Double ouch.
Well, fuck it. Hanna pressed down on the gas and nearly
took out someone’s dog-shaped mailbox.
‘We’ve got to go somewhere and show this bitch off.’
Mona put her Miu Miu heels up on the dashboard, smearing
bits of grass and dirt on it. ‘How ’bout Wawa? I’m jonesing
for some Tastykake.’
Hanna giggled and took another swig of Ketel One. ‘You
must be super-baked.’
‘I’m not just baked, I’m broiled!’
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They parked crookedly in the Wawa lot and sang, ‘ I like
big BUTTS and I cannot lie! ’ as they stumbled into the store.
A couple of grubby delivery guys, holding 64-ounce cups of
coffee and leaning against their trucks, stared with their
mouths open.
‘Can I have your hat?’ Mona asked the skinnier of the
two, pointing to his mesh ball cap that said WAWA FARMS.
Without a word, the guy gave it to her.
‘Ew,’ Hanna whispered. ‘That thing is germy!’ But Mona
had already put it on her head.
In the store, Mona bought sixteen Tastykake Butterscotch
Krimpets, a copy of Us Weekly, and a huge bottle of Tahitian
Treat; Hanna bought a Tootsie Pop for ten cents. When
Mona wasn’t looking, she shoved a Snickers and a pack of
M&M’s into her purse.
‘I can hear the car,’ Mona said dreamily as they paid. ‘It’s
screaming.’
It was true. In her drunken haze, Hanna had activated the
alarm on the keychain. ‘Oops.’ She giggled.
Hooting with laughter, they ran back to the car and slid
inside. They stopped at a red light, heads bobbing. The
supermarket strip mall to their left was empty except for
some loose shopping carts. The store’s neon signs glowed
vacantly; even the Outback Steakhouse bar was dead.
‘People in Rosewood are such losers.’ Hanna gestured to
the darkness.
The highway was barren too, so Hanna let out a startled,
‘Eep!’ when a car stealthily rolled up in the lane next to her.
It was a silver, pointy-nosed Porsche with tinted windows
and those creepy blue headlights.
‘Check that out,’ Mona said, Krimpet crumbs falling out
of her mouth.
As they stared, the car revved its engine.
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‘It wants to race,’ Mona whispered.
‘Bull,’ Hanna answered. She couldn’t make out who was
inside the car – only the red, glowing tip of a lit cigarette. An
uneasy feeling washed over her.
The car revved its engine again – impatiently, this time –
and she could finally see a vague outline of the driver. He
revved his engine again.
Hanna raised an eyebrow at Mona, feeling drunk, hyped,
and completely invincible.
‘Do it,’ Mona whispered, pulling down the brim of the
Wawa milk hat.
Hanna swallowed hard. The light turned green. As Hanna
hit the gas, the car launched forward. The Porsche growled
ahead of her.
‘You pussy, don’t let him beat you!’ Mona cried.
Hanna stepped down on the gas pedal and the engine
roared. She pulled alongside the Porsche. They were doing
80, then 90, then 100. Driving this fast felt better than
stealing.
‘Kick his ass!’ Mona screamed.
Heart pounding, Hanna pressed the pedal to the floor. She
could hardly hear what Mona was saying over the engine
noise. As they rounded a turn, a deer stepped into their lane.
It came out of nowhere.
‘Shit!’ Hanna screamed. The deer stood dumbly still. She
gripped the wheel tightly, hit the brakes, and swerved right,
and the deer jumped out of the way. Quickly, she wrenched
the wheel to straighten it out, but the car began to skid. The
tires caught on a patch of gravel on the side of the road, and
suddenly, they were spinning.
The car spun around and around, and then they hit something.
All at once, there was a crunch, splintering glass
and . . . darkness.
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A split second later, the only sound in the car was a vigorous
hissing noise from under the hood.
Slowly, Hanna felt her face. It was okay; nothing had hit
it. And her legs could move. She pushed herself up through
a bunch of folded, puffy fabric – the airbag. She checked on
Mona. Her long legs kicked wildly from behind her airbag.
Hanna wiped tears from the corners of her eyes. ‘You
okay?’
‘Get this thing off me!’
Hanna got out of the car and then pulled Mona out. They
stood on the side of the highway, breathing hard. Across the
street were the SEPTA tracks and the dark Rosewood station.
They could see far up the highway: There was no sign
of the Porsche – or the deer that they’d missed. Ahead of
them, the stoplights swung, turning from yellow to red.
‘That was something,’ Mona said, her voice quivering.
Hanna nodded. ‘You sure you’re all right?’ She looked at
the car.
The whole front end had crumpled into a telephone pole.
The bumper hung off the car, touching the ground. One of
the headlights had twisted around to a crooked angle; the
other flashed crazily. Stinky steam poured out of the hood.
‘You don’t think it’s gonna blow up, do you?’ Mona
asked.
Hanna giggled. This shouldn’t have been funny, but it
was. ‘What should we do?’
‘We should bolt,’ Mona said. ‘We can walk home from
here.’
Hanna swallowed more giggles. ‘Oh my God. Sean’s
gonna shit!’
Then both girls started to laugh. Hiccupping, Hanna
turned around on the empty road and spread her arms out.
There was something empowering about standing in the
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middle of an empty four-lane highway. She felt like she
owned Rosewood. She also felt like she was spinning, but
maybe that was because she was still wasted. She tossed the
key ring next to the car. It hit the pavement hard, and the
alarm started wailing again.
Hanna quickly bent down and hit the deactivate button.
The alarm stopped. ‘Does it have to be so loud?’ she complained.
‘Totally.’ Mona put her sunglasses back on. ‘Sean’s dad
should really get that fixed.’
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26
Do U Love Me? Y or N?
The grandfather clock in the hall rang at 9 A.M. on Saturday
morning as Emily padded quietly down the stairs to the
kitchen. She never got up this early on the weekends, but this
morning, she couldn’t sleep.
Someone had made coffee, and there were sticky buns sitting
out on a chicken-print plate on the table. It looked as if
her parents had gone out for their never-fail, rain-or-shine
Saturday crack-of-dawn walk. If they did their two loops
around the neighborhood, Emily could get out of here without
anybody noticing.
Last night, after Ben caught her and Maya in the photo
booth, Emily had bolted from the party – without saying
good-bye to Maya. Emily had called Carolyn – who was at
Applebee’s – and asked for a ride, pronto. Carolyn and
Topher, her boyfriend, came, no questions asked, although
her sister gave Emily – who stank of whiskey – a stern,
parental look when she climbed in the backseat. At home,
she’d hidden under her covers so she wouldn’t have to talk to
Carolyn and dropped off into a deep sleep. But this morning,
she felt worse than ever.
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She didn’t know what to think about what happened at
the party. It was all a blur. She wanted to believe that kissing
Maya had been a mistake, and that she could explain everything
to Ben and it would be okay. But Emily kept returning
to how everything felt. It was like . . . before last night, she’d
never been kissed before.
But there was nothing, nothing about Emily that said lesbian.
She bought girly hot-oil treatments for her
chlorine-damaged hair. She had a poster of the hot
Australian swimmer Ian Thorpe on her wall. She giggled
with the other swimmer girls about the boys in their
Speedos. She’d only kissed one other girl, years ago, and
that didn’t count. Even if it did, it didn’t mean anything,
right?
She broke a Danish in half and stuffed a piece in her
mouth. Her head throbbed. She wanted things to go back to
the way they were. To throw a fresh towel in her duffel and
head to practice, to happily make goofy pig faces into someone’s
digital camera on the away-meet bus. To be content
with herself and her life and to not be an emotional yo-yo.
So that was it. Maya was awesome and all, but they were
just confused – and sad, for their own reasons. But not gay.
Right?
She needed some air.
It was desolate outside. The birds were chirping noisily,
and someone’s dog kept barking, but everything was still.
Freshly delivered papers were still waiting on front lawns,
wrapped in blue plastic.
Her old, red Trek mountain bike was propped up against
the side of the toolshed. Emily jerked it upright, hoping she’d
be coordinated enough to handle a bike after last night’s
whiskey. She pushed off to the street, but her bike’s front
wheel made a flapping noise.
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Emily bent down. There was something caught in the
wheel. A piece of notebook paper was woven through the
spokes. She pulled it out and read a few lines. Wait. This was
her own handwriting.
. . . I love staring at the back of your head in class, I love
how you chew gum whenever we’re talking on the phone
together, and I love that when you jiggle your Skechers
during class when Mrs. Hat starts talking about famous
American court cases, I know you’re totally bored.
Emily’s eyes darted around her empty front yard. Was this
what she thought it was? She nervously skimmed down to
the bottom, her mouth dry.
. . . and I’ve done a lot of thinking about why I kissed you
the other day. I realized: It wasn’t a joke, Ali. I think I love
you. I can understand if you never want to speak to me
again, but I just had to tell you. —Em
There was something else written on the other side of the
paper. She flipped it over.
Thought you might want this back.
Love, A
Emily let her bike clatter to the ground.
This was the letter to Ali, the very one Emily had sent
right after the kiss. The one she’d wondered if Ali had ever
gotten.
Calm down, Emily told herself, realizing her hands were
trembling. There’s a logical explanation for this.
It had to be Maya. She lived in Ali’s old room. Emily had
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told Maya about Alison and the letter last night. Maybe she
was just giving it back?
But then . . . Love, A. Maya wouldn’t write that.
Emily didn’t know what to do or who to talk to.
Suddenly, she thought of Aria. So much had happened last
night after Emily ran into her, she’d forgotten their conversation.
What had all Aria’s bizarre Alison questions been
about? And there was something about her expression last
night. Aria seemed . . . nervous.
Emily sat on the ground and looked at the ‘Thought you
might want this back’ message again. If Emily recalled correctly,
Aria had spiky handwriting that looked a lot like this.
In the last days before Ali had gone missing, she’d held the
kiss over Emily’s head, forcing Emily to go along with whatever
she wanted to do. It hadn’t occurred to Emily that
maybe Ali had told the rest of their friends. But maybe . . .
‘Honey?’
Emily jumped. Her parents stood above her, dressed in
sensible white sneakers, high-waisted shorts, and preppy
pastel golf shirts. Her father had a red fanny pack, and her
mom swung turquoise arm weights back and forth.
‘Hey,’ Emily croaked.
‘Going for a bike ride?’ her mother asked.
‘Uh-huh.’
‘You’re supposed to be grounded.’ Her father put on his
glasses, as if he needed to see Emily to scold her. ‘We only
let you out last night because you were going with Ben. We
hoped he’d get through to you. But bike rides are off
limits.’
‘Well,’ Emily groaned, standing up. If only she didn’t have
to explain things to her parents. But then . . . whatever. She
wouldn’t. Not now. She threw her leg over the bar and sat on
her seat.
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‘I have somewhere to go,’ she mumbled, pedaling down
the driveway.
‘Emily, come back here,’ her father yelled gruffly.
But Emily, for the first time in her life, just kept pedaling.
190
27
Don’t Mind Me, I’m Just Dead!
Aria awoke to her doorbell ringing. Except it wasn’t her
family’s normal doorbell chime, it was ‘American Idiot,’ by
Green Day. Huh – when had her parents changed that?
She threw back her duvet, slid on the blue-flowered, furlined
clogs she’d bought in Amsterdam, and clomped down
the spiral staircase to see who it was.
When she opened the door, she gasped. It was Alison. She
was taller and her blond hair was cut in long shaggy layers.
Her face looked more glamorous and angular than it had in
seventh grade.
‘Ta- daa!’ Ali grinned and spread out her arms. ‘I’m back!’
‘Holy . . .’ Aria choked on her words, blinking furiously a
couple of times. ‘ Wh-where have you been?’
Ali rolled her eyes. ‘My stupid parents,’ she said.
‘Remember my aunt Camille, the really cool one who was
born in France and married my uncle Jeff when we were in
seventh? I went to visit her in Miami that summer. Then, I
liked it so much that I just stayed. I totally told my parents
about all of it, but I guess they forgot to tell everyone else.’
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Aria rubbed her eyes. ‘So, wait. You’ve been in . . .
Miami? You’re okay?’
Ali twirled around a little. ‘I look more than okay, don’t I?
Hey, did you like my texts?’
Aria’s smile faded. ‘Um . . . no, actually.’
Ali looked hurt. ‘Why not? That one about your mom
was so funny.’
Aria stared at her.
‘God, you’re sensitive.’ Ali narrowed her eyes. ‘Are you
going to blow me off again?’
‘Wait, what?’ Aria stammered.
Alison gave Aria a long look, and a black, gelatinous substance
began dripping out her nostrils. ‘I told the others, you
know. About your dad. I told them everything.’
‘Your . . . nose . . .’ Aria pointed. Suddenly it started seeping
out of Ali’s eyeballs. Like she was crying oil. It was
dripping from her fingernails, too.
‘Oh, I’m just rotting.’ Ali smiled.
Aria jerked up in bed. Sweat drenched the back of her
neck. The sun streamed in through her window, and she
heard ‘American Idiot’ on her brother’s stereo next door. She
checked her hands for black goo, but they were squeaky
clean.
Whoa.
‘Morning, honey.’
Aria staggered down her spiral staircase to see her father,
dressed only in thin, tartan plaid boxer shorts and a sleeveless
T-shirt, reading the Philadelphia Inquirer. ‘Hey,’ she
murmured back.
Shuffling to the espresso machine, she stared for a long
time at her father’s pale, randomly hairy shoulders. He jiggled
his feet and made hmmm noises at the paper.
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‘Dad?’ Her voice cracked slightly.
‘Mmm?’
Aria leaned against the stone-topped island. ‘Can ghosts
send text messages?’
Her father looked up, surprised and confused. ‘What’s a
text message?’
She stuck her hand into an open box of Frosted Mini
Wheats and pulled out a handful. ‘Never mind.’
‘You sure?’ Byron asked.
She chewed nervously. What did she want to ask? Is a
ghost sending me texts? But c’mon, she knew better.
Anyway, she didn’t know why Ali’s ghost would come back
and do this to her. It was as if she wanted revenge, but was
that possible?
Ali had been great the day they caught her dad in the car.
Aria had fled around the corner and ran until she had to
start walking. She kept walking all the way home, not sure
what else to do with herself. Ali hugged her for a long time.
‘I won’t tell,’ she whispered.
But the next day, the questions started. Do you know that
girl? Is she a student? Is your dad going to tell your mom?
Do you think he’s doing it with lots of students? Usually,
Aria could take Ali’s inquisitiveness and even her teasing –
she was okay with being the ‘weird kid’ of the group. But
this was different. This hurt.
So the last few days of school, before she disappeared,
Aria avoided Alison. She didn’t send her ‘I’m bored’ texts
during health class or help her clean out her locker. And she
certainly didn’t talk about what happened. She was mad that
Ali was prying – as if it was some celebrity gossip in Star and not her life. She was mad that Ali knew. Period.
Now, three years later, Aria wondered who she’d really
been mad at. It wasn’t really Ali. It was her dad.
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‘Really, never mind,’ Aria answered her father, who’d
been waiting patiently, sipping his coffee. ‘I’m just sleepy.’
‘Okay,’ Byron answered incredulously.
The doorbell rang. It wasn’t the Green Day song but their
normal bong, bong chime. Her father looked up. ‘I wonder
if that’s for Mike,’ he said. ‘Did you know that some girl
from the Quaker school came by here at eight-thirty, looking
for him?’
‘I’ll get it,’ Aria said.
She tentatively pulled open the front door, but it was only
Emily Fields on the other side, her reddish-blond hair messy
and her eyes swollen.
‘Hey,’ Emily croaked.
‘Hey,’ Aria answered.
Emily puffed up her cheeks with air – her old nervous
habit. She stood there for a moment. Then she said, ‘I should
go.’ She started to turn.
‘Wait.’ Aria caught her arm. ‘What? What’s going on?’
Emily paused. ‘Um. Okay. But . . . this is going to sound
weird.’
‘That’s okay.’ Aria’s heart started to pound.
‘I was thinking about what you were saying yesterday at
the party. About Ali. I was wondering . . . did Ali ever tell
you guys something about me?’
Emily said it very quietly. Aria pushed her hair out of her
eyes.
‘What?’ Aria whispered. ‘Recently?’
Emily’s eyes widened. ‘What do you mean, recently?’
‘I—’
‘In seventh grade,’ Emily interrupted. ‘Did she tell you . . .
like . . . something about me in seventh grade? Was she
telling everybody?’
Aria blinked. At the party yesterday, when she’d seen
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Emily, she’d wanted more than anything to tell her about the
texts. ‘No,’ Aria answered slowly. ‘She never talked behind
your back.’
‘Oh.’ Emily stared at the ground. ‘But I—’ she started.
‘I’ve been getting these—’ Aria said at the same time.
Then Emily looked past her and her eyes grew still.
‘Miss Emily Fields! Hello!’
Aria turned. In the living room stood Byron. At least he’d
thrown on a striped bathrobe. ‘I haven’t seen you in ages!’
Byron boomed.
‘Yeah.’ Emily puffed out her cheeks again. ‘How are you,
Mr. Montgomery?’
He frowned. ‘Please. You’re old enough to call me Byron.’
He scratched his chin with the top edge of his coffee cup.
‘How’s your life? Good?’
‘Absolutely.’ Emily looked like she was about to cry.
‘Do you need something to eat?’ Byron asked. ‘You look
hungry.’
‘Oh. No. Thanks. I, um, I guess I didn’t really sleep well.’
‘You girls.’ He shook his head. ‘You never sleep! I always
tell Aria she needs eleven hours – she needs to bank sleep for
when she gets to college and parties all night!’ He began
climbing the stairs to the second floor.
As soon as he was out of sight, Aria whirled back around.
‘He’s so—’ she started. But then she realized Emily was
halfway across her lawn, on the way to her bike. ‘Hey!’ she
called. ‘Where are you going?’
Emily picked her bike up off the ground. ‘I shouldn’t have
come.’
‘Wait! Come back! I . . . I need to talk to you!’ Aria called
out.
Emily paused and looked up. Aria felt all of her words
swarming like bees in her mouth. Emily seemed terrified.
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But suddenly Aria was too afraid to ask. How would she
talk about the texts from A without mentioning her secret?
She still didn’t want anyone to know. Especially with her
mom just upstairs.
Then she thought of Byron in his bathrobe and how
uncomfortable Emily seemed around him just now. Emily
had asked, Did Alison tell you something about me in seventh
grade? Why would she ask that?
Unless . . .
Aria bit her pinkie nail. What if Emily already knew Aria’s
secret? Aria clamped her mouth shut, paralyzed.
Emily shook her head. ‘I’ll see you later,’ she mumbled,
and before Aria could compose herself, Emily was biking
furiously away.
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28
Brad and Angelina Actually Met at the
Rosewood Police Station
‘Ladies, discover yourselves!’
As Oprah’s audience clapped wildly, Hanna sank into
her coffee-colored leather couch cushions, balancing the
TiVo remote on her bare stomach. She could use a little
self-discovery on this crisp Saturday morning.
Last night was pretty blurry – like she’d gone through the
night without her contacts in – and her head was throbbing.
Had it involved some sort of animal? She’d found some
empty candy wrappers in her purse. Had she eaten them? All
of them? Her stomach hurt, after all, and it looked a little
puffy. And why did she have a distinct memory of a Wawa
dairy truck? It felt like piecing together a puzzle, except
Hanna was too impatient for puzzles – she always jammed
pieces together that didn’t actually fit.
The doorbell rang. Hanna groaned, then rolled off the
couch, not bothering to fix her army-green ribbed tank top,
which was turned around and practically exposing her boob.
She cracked the oak door and then slammed it shut again.
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Whoa. It was that cop, Mr. April. Er, Darren Wilden.
‘Open up, Hanna.’
She checked him out through the peephole. He stood with
his arms crossed, seeming all business, but then his hair was
a mess and she didn’t see his gun anywhere. And what kind
of cop worked at 10 A.M. on a cloudless Saturday morning
like this?
Hanna glanced at her reflection in the round mirror across
the room. Jesus. Sleep marks from the pillow? Yes. Puffy
eyes, lips in need of gloss? Absolutely. She quickly ran her
hands over her face, pushed her hair into a ponytail, and put
on her round Chanel sunglasses. Then she flung open the
door.
‘Hey!’ she said brightly. ‘How are you?’
‘Is your mom home?’ he asked.
‘Nope,’ Hanna said flirtatiously. ‘She’s out all morning.’
Wilden pursed his lips together, looking stressed. Hanna
noticed Wilden had a little clear Band-Aid right above his
eyebrow. ‘What, did your girlfriend deck you?’ she asked,
pointing at it.
‘No . . .’ Wilden touched the Band-Aid. ‘I banged it on my
medicine cabinet when I was washing my face.’ He rolled his
eyes. ‘I’m not the most graceful person in the morning.’
Hanna smiled. ‘Join the club. I fell on my ass last night. It
was so random.’
Wilden’s kind expression was suddenly grim. ‘Was that
before or after you stole the car?’
Hanna stood back. ‘What?’
Why was Wilden looking at her as if she were the love
child of space aliens? ‘There was an anonymous tip that you
stole a car,’ he enunciated slowly.
Hanna’s mouth fell open. ‘I . . . what?’
‘A black BMW? Belonging to a Mr. Edwin Ackard? You
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crashed it into a phone pole? After you drank a bottle of
Ketel One? Any of this sound familiar?’
Hanna shoved her sunglasses up her nose. Wait, that was
what happened? ‘I wasn’t drunk last night,’ she lied.
‘We found a vodka bottle on the driver’s-side floor in the
car,’ Wilden said. ‘So, someone was drunk.’
‘But—’ Hanna started.
‘I have to bring you into the station,’ Wilden interrupted,
sounding a little disappointed.
‘I didn’t steal it,’ Hanna squeaked. ‘Sean – his son – said I
could take it!’
Wilden raised an eyebrow. ‘So you admit you were driving
it?’
‘I—’ Hanna started. Shit. She took a step back into the
house. ‘But my mom’s not even here. She won’t know what
happened to me.’ Embarrassingly, tears rushed to her eyes.
She turned away, trying to get her shit together.
Wilden shifted his weight uncomfortably. It seemed like he
didn’t know what to do with his hands – first he put them in
his pockets, then they hovered near Hanna, then he wrung
them together. ‘Listen, we can call your mom at the station,
all right?’ he said. ‘And I won’t cuff you. And you can ride
up front with me.’ He walked back to his car and opened the
passenger door for her.
An hour later, she sat on the police station’s same yellow
plastic bucket seats, staring at the same Chester County’s
Most Wanted poster, fighting back the urge to start crying
again. She’d just been given a blood test to see if she was still
drunk from last night. Hanna wasn’t sure if she was – did
alcohol stay in your body for that long? Now Wilden was
hunching over his same desk, which held the same Bic pens
and a metallic Slinky. She pinched her palm with her fingernails
and swallowed.
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Unfortunately, the events of last night had coalesced in her
head. The Porsche, the deer, the airbag. Had Sean said she
could take the car? She doubted it; the last thing she could
remember was his little self-esteem speech before he’d
ditched her in the woods.
‘Hey, were you at the Swarthmore battle of the bands last
night?’
A college-age guy with a buzz cut and a uni-brow sat next
to her. He wore a ripped flannel surfer’s shirt, paint-spattered
jeans, and no shoes. His hands were cuffed. ‘Um, no,’ Hanna
muttered.
He leaned close to her, and Hanna could smell his beery
breath. ‘Oh. I thought I saw you there. I was and I drank too
much and started terrorizing someone’s cows. That’s why
I’m here! I was trespassing!’
‘Good for you,’ she answered frostily.
‘What’s your name?’ He jingled his cuffs.
‘Um, Angelina.’ Like hell she was giving him her real
name.
‘Hey, Angelina,’ he said. ‘I’m Brad!’
Hanna cracked a smile at how lame that line was.
Just then, the station’s front door opened. Hanna jerked
back in her seat and pushed her sunglasses up her nose.
Great. It was her mom.
‘I came as soon as I heard,’ Ms. Marin said to Wilden.
This morning, Ms. Marin wore a simple white boat-neck
tee, low-waisted James jeans, Gucci slingbacks, and the exact
same Chanel shades that Hanna was wearing. Her skin radiated
– she’d been at the spa all morning – and her red-gold
hair was pulled back into a simple ponytail. Hanna squinted.
Had her mom stuffed her bra? Her boobs looked like they
belonged to someone else.
‘I’ll talk to her,’ Ms. Marin said to Wilden in a low voice.
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Then she walked over to Hanna. She smelled of seaweed
body wrap. Hanna, certain that she smelled of Ketel One
and Eggo waffles, tried to shrink in her seat.
‘I’m sorry,’ Hanna squeaked.
‘Did they make you take a blood test?’ she hissed.
She nodded miserably.
‘What else did you tell them?’
‘N-n-nothing,’ she stuttered.
Ms. Marin laced her French-manicured hands together.
‘Okay. I’ll handle this. Just be quiet.’
‘What are you going to do?’ she whispered back. ‘Are you
going to call Sean’s dad?’
‘I said I’ll handle it, Hanna.’
Her mother rose up from the plastic bucket seats and
leaned over Wilden’s desk. Hanna tore through her purse for
her emergency pack of Twizzlers Pull-n-Peel. She’d just have
a couple, not the whole pack. It had to be in here somewhere.
As she pulled out the Twizzlers, she felt her BlackBerry
buzzing. Hanna hesitated. What if it was Sean, chewing her
out via voice mail? What if it was Mona? Where the hell was
Mona? Had they actually let her go to the golf tourney? She
hadn’t stolen the car, but she’d come along for the ride. That
had to count for something.
Her BlackBerry had a few missed calls. Sean . . . six times.
Mona, twice, at 8 A.M. and 8:03. There were also some new
text messages: a bunch from kids at the party, unrelated, and
then one from a cell number she didn’t know. Hanna’s stomach
knotted.
Hanna: Remember the KATE toothbrush? Thought so! —A
Hanna blinked. A cold, clammy sweat gathered on the
back of her neck. She felt dizzy. The Kate toothbrush?
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‘Come on,’ she said shakily, trying to laugh. She glanced up
at her mother, but she was still bent over Wilden’s desk,
talking.
When she was in Annapolis, after her father told Hanna
that she was, essentially, a pig, Hanna shot up from the table
and ran inside. She ducked into the powder room, shut the
door, and sat down on the toilet.
She took deep breaths, trying to calm down. Why couldn’t
she be beautiful and graceful and perfect like Ali or Kate?
Why did she have to be who she was, dumpy and clumsy
and a wreck? And she wasn’t sure who she was angriest at –
her dad, Kate, herself, or . . . Alison.
As Hanna choked on hot, angry tears, she noticed the
three framed pictures on the wall across from the toilet. All
three were close-ups of someone’s eyes. She recognized her
father’s squinty, expressive eyes right away. And there were
Isabel’s small, almond-shaped ones. The third pair of eyes
were large, intoxicating. They looked like they were
straight out of a Chanel mascara ad. They were obviously
Kate’s.
They were all watching her.
Hanna stared at herself in the mirror. A peal of laughter
floated in from outside. Her stomach felt like it was bursting
from all the popcorn everyone had watched her eat. She felt
so sick, she just wanted it out of there, but when she leaned
over the toilet, nothing happened. Tears spilled down her
cheeks. As she reached for a Kleenex, she noticed a green
toothbrush sitting in a little porcelain cup. It gave her an idea.
It took her ten minutes to work up the nerve to put it into
her throat, but when she did, she felt worse – but also better.
She started crying even harder, but she also wanted to do it
again. As she eased the toothbrush back in her mouth, the
bathroom door burst open.
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It was Alison. Her eyes swept over Hanna kneeling on the
floor, the toothbrush in her hand. ‘Whoa,’ she said.
‘Please go away,’ Hanna whispered.
Alison took a step into the bathroom. ‘Do you want to
talk about it?’
Hanna looked at her desperately. ‘At least close the door!’
Ali shut the door and sat on the side of the tub. ‘How long
have you been doing this for?’
Hanna’s lip quivered. ‘Doing what?’
Ali paused, looking at the toothbrush. Her eyes widened.
Hanna looked at it too. She hadn’t noticed before, but KATE
was printed on the side in white letters.
A phone rang loudly in the police station and Hanna
flinched. Remember the Kate toothbrush? Someone else
might have known about Hanna’s eating problem, or might
have seen her going into the police station, or might even
know about Kate. But the green toothbrush? There was only
one person who knew about that.
Hanna liked to believe that if Ali were alive, she’d be rooting
for her, now that her life was so perfect. That was the scene
she replayed in her mind constantly – Ali impressed by her size
2 jeans. Ali oohing over her Chanel lip gloss. Ali congratulating
Hanna on how she’d planned the perfect pool party.
With shaking hands, Hanna typed, Is this Alison?
‘Wilden,’ a cop shouted. ‘We need you in the back.’
Hanna looked up. Darren Wilden rose from his desk,
excusing himself from Hanna’s mom. Within seconds, the
whole precinct burst into action. A cop car flew out of the
parking lot; three more followed. Phones rang maniacally;
four cops sprinted through the room.
‘It looks like something big,’ said Brad, the drunk trespasser
sitting next to her. Hanna flinched – she’d forgotten
he was there.
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‘A donut shortage?’ she asked, trying to laugh.
‘Bigger.’ He jiggled his handcuffed hands excitedly. ‘Looks
like something very big.’
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29
Good Morning,We Hate You
The sun streamed in through the barn’s window, and for the
first time in Spencer’s life, she was awakened by the chirping
of high-on-life sparrows instead of the frightening ’90s
techno mix her dad blasted from the main house’s exercise
room. But could she enjoy it? Nope.
Although she hadn’t drunk a drop last night, her body felt
achy, chilled, and hungover. There was zero sleep in her fuel
tank. After Wren left, she’d tried to sleep, but her mind spun.
The way Wren held her felt so . . . different. Spencer had
never felt anything remotely like that before.
But then that IM. And Melissa’s calm, spooky expression.
And . . .
As the night wore on, the barn creaked and groaned, and
Spencer pulled the covers up to her nose, shaking. She chided
herself for feeling paranoid and immature, but she couldn’t
help it. She kept thinking of the possibilities.
Eventually, she’d gotten up and rebooted her computer.
For a few hours, she searched the Internet. First she looked
at technical websites, searching for answers on how to trace
IMs. No luck. Then she tried to find where that first e-mail –
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the one titled ‘covet’ – had come from. She wanted, desperately,
for the trail to end at Andrew Campbell.
She found that Andrew had a blog, but after scouring the
whole thing, she found nothing. The entries were all about
the books Andrew liked to read, dorky boy philosophizing,
a couple of melancholy passages about an unrequited crush
on some girl he never named. She thought he might slip up
and give himself away, but he didn’t.
Finally, she plugged in the key words missing persons and
Alison DiLaurentis.
She found the same stuff from three years ago – the
reports on CNN and in the Philadelphia Inquirer, search
groups, and kooky sites, like one showing what Ali might
look like with different hairstyles. Spencer stared at the
school picture they’d used; she hadn’t seen a photo of Ali in
a long time. Would she recognize Ali if she had, for instance,
a short, black bob? She certainly looked different in this picture
they’d created.
The main house’s screen door squeaked as she nervously
pushed through it. Inside, she smelled freshly brewed coffee,
which was odd, because usually her mom was already at the
stables by now and her dad was riding or at the golf course.
She wondered what had happened between Melissa and
Wren after last night, praying she wouldn’t have to face
them.
‘We’ve been waiting for you.’
Spencer jumped. At the kitchen table were her parents and
Melissa. Her mother’s face was pale and drained and her
dad’s cheeks were beet red. Melissa’s eyes were red-rimmed
and puffy. Even the two dogs didn’t jump up to greet her as
they normally did.
Spencer swallowed hard. So much for praying.
‘Sit down, please,’ her father said quietly.
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Spencer scraped back a wooden chair and sat next to her
mother. The room was so still and silent, she could hear her
stomach, nervously on spin cycle.
‘I don’t even know what to say,’ her mother croaked.
‘How could you?’
Spencer’s stomach dropped. She opened her mouth, but
her mother held up her hand. ‘You have no right to talk right
now.’
Spencer clamped her mouth shut and lowered her eyes.
‘Honestly,’ her father said, ‘I am so mortified you’re my
daughter right now. I thought we raised you better.’
Spencer picked at a rough cuticle on her thumb and tried
to stop her chin from wobbling.
‘What were you thinking?’ her mother asked. ‘That was
her boyfriend. They were planning to move in together. Do you realize what you’ve done?’
‘I—’ Spencer started.
‘I mean . . . ,’ her mother interrupted, then wrung her
hands and looked down.
‘You’re under eighteen, which means we’re legally responsible
for you,’ her father said. ‘But if it were up to me, I’d
lock you out of this house right now.’
‘I wish I never had to see you again,’ Melissa spat.
Spencer felt faint. She half-expected them to set down
their coffee cups and tell her they were just kidding, that
everything was all right. But they couldn’t even look at her.
Her dad’s words stung in her ears: I am so mortified you’re
my daughter. No one had ever said anything like that to her
before.
‘One thing’s for certain; Melissa will be moving into the
barn,’ her mother continued. ‘I want all of your stuff out and
back into your old bedroom. And once her town house is
ready, I’m turning the barn into a pottery studio.’
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Spencer balled up her fists under the table, willing herself
not to cry. She didn’t care about the barn, not really. It was
what came with the barn that mattered. It was that her dad
was going to build shelves for her. Her mom was going to
help her pick out new curtains. They’d said she could get a
kitten and they’d all spent a few minutes thinking up funny
names for it. They were excited for her. They cared.
She reached out for her mother’s arm. ‘I’m sorry—’
Her mother slid her body away. ‘Spencer, don’t.’
Spencer couldn’t manage to swallow her sob. Tears started
running down her cheeks.
‘It’s not me you need to apologize to, anyway,’ her mother
said in a low voice.
Spencer looked at Melissa, sniveling across the table. She
wiped her nose. As much as she hated Melissa, she’d never
seen her sister this miserable – not since Ian broke up with
her back in high school. It was wrong to flirt with Wren, but
Spencer hadn’t thought it would go as far as it did. She tried
to put herself in Melissa’s place – if she’d met Wren first, and
Melissa had kissed him, she’d be shattered too. Her heart
softened. ‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered.
Melissa shuddered. ‘Rot in hell,’ she spat.
Spencer bit the inside of her mouth so hard she tasted
blood.
‘Just get your things out of the barn.’ Her mother sighed.
‘Then get out of our sight.’
Spencer’s eyes widened. ‘But—’ she squeaked.
Her father gave her a withering look.
‘It’s just so despicable,’ her mother murmured.
‘You’re such a bitch,’ Melissa threw in.
Spencer nodded – perhaps if she agreed with them, they
would stop. She wanted to shrivel up into a tiny ball and
evaporate. Instead, she mumbled, ‘I’ll go do it now.’
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‘Good.’ Her father took another sip of coffee and left the
table.
Melissa made a small squeak and pushed back her chair.
She sobbed the whole way up the stairs and slammed her
bedroom door.
‘Wren left last night,’ Mr. Hastings said as he paused in
the doorway. ‘We won’t be hearing from him, ever again.
And if you know what’s best for you, you won’t talk about
him ever again.’
‘Of course,’ Spencer mumbled, and set her head down on
the cool oak table.
‘Good.’
Spencer kept her head firmly on the table, breathing yoga
fire breaths and waiting for someone to come back and tell
her that everything would be okay. Nobody did. Outside, she
heard an ambulance siren screaming in the distance. It
sounded like it was coming toward the house.
Spencer sat up. Oh God. What if Melissa had . . . hurt
herself? She wouldn’t, would she? The sirens howled, coming
closer. Spencer shoved back her chair.
Holy shit. What had she done?
‘Melissa!’ she yelled, running to the stairs.
‘You’re a whore!’ came a voice. ‘You’re a fucking whore!’
Spencer slumped back against the railing. Well, then. It
seemed Melissa was just fine, after all.
209
30
The Circus Is Back in Town
Emily biked furiously away from Aria’s house, narrowly
missing a jogger on the side of the road. ‘Watch it!’ he yelled.
As she passed a neighbor walking two huge Great Danes,
Emily made a decision. She had to go to Maya’s. It was the
only answer. Maybe Maya had meant it in a nice way, like
she was just returning the note after Emily told her about
Alison last night. Maybe Maya wanted to mention the letter
last night but, for whatever reason, she didn’t. Maybe the A
was really an M?
Besides, she and Maya had tons of other stuff to talk
about – besides the note. Try everything that happened at the
party. Emily closed her eyes, remembering. She could practically
smell Maya’s banana gum and feel the soft contours of
her mouth. Opening her eyes, she swerved away from the
curb.
Okay, they definitely needed to work that out. But what
did Emily want to say?
I loved it.
No. Of course she wouldn’t say that. She would say, We
should just be friends. She was going back to Ben, after all.
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If he’d have her. She wanted to rewind time, to go back to
being the Emily who was happy with her life, who her parents
were happy with. The Emily who only worried about
her breaststroke reach and her algebra homework.
Emily pedaled past Myer Park, where she and Ali used to
swing for hours. They tried to pump together in unison, and
when they were completely even, Ali always called out,
‘We’re married!’ Then they’d squeal and jump off at the
same time.
But what if Maya hadn’t put that note on her bike? When
Emily asked Aria if Ali had told her Emily’s secret, Aria had
replied, ‘What, recently?’ Why would Aria say that? Unless . . .
unless Aria knew something. Unless Ali was back.
Was that possible?
Emily skidded through the gravel. No, that was crazy. Her
mother still exchanged holiday cards with Mrs. DiLaurentis;
she would’ve heard if Ali had returned. Back when Ali vanished,
it was on the news 24/7. These days, her parents
usually had on CNN while they ate breakfast. It would
surely be a top story again.
Still, it was thrilling to consider. Every night for almost a
year after Ali’s disappearance, Emily had asked her Magic 8
Ball if Alison would come back. Although it sometimes said,
Wait and see, it never, ever said, No. She made bets with herself, too: If two kids get on the school bus today wearing red
shirts, she would whisper to herself, Ali is okay. If they’re serving pizza at lunch, Ali’s not dead. If Coach makes us
practice starts and turns, Ali will come back. Nine times out
of ten, according to Emily’s little superstitions, Ali was on
her way back to them.
Maybe she’d been right all along.
She pumped uphill and around a sharp turn, narrowly
avoiding a stone Revolutionary War battle memorial sign. If
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Ali was back, what would that mean for Emily’s friendship
with Maya? She sort of doubted she could have two best
friends . . . two best friends she felt so similarly about. She
wondered what Ali would even think of Maya. What if they
hated each other?
I loved it.
We should just be friends.
She swept past the beautiful farmhouses, crumbling stone
inns, and gardeners’ pickups parked on the road’s shoulder.
She used to bike this exact route to Ali’s house; the last time,
in fact, had been before the kiss. Emily hadn’t planned to kiss
Ali before she came; something had come over her in the
heat of the moment. She would never forget how soft Ali’s
lips were or the stunned look on Ali’s face when she pulled
back. ‘What did you do that for?’ she’d asked.
Suddenly, a siren wailed behind her. Emily barely had time
to move to the edge of the road again before a Rosewood
ambulance screamed past. A gust of wind kicked up, blowing
dust into her face. She wiped her eyes and stared as the
ambulance got to the top of the hill and paused at Alison’s
street.
Now it was turning onto Alison’s street. Fear seized Emily.
Ali’s street was . . . Maya’s street. She gripped the rubber
handles of her bike.
With all the craziness, she’d forgotten the secret Maya had
told her last night. The cutting. The hospital. That huge,
jagged scar. Sometimes I just feel like I need to, Maya had
said.
‘Oh my God,’ Emily whispered.
She pedaled furiously and skidded around the corner. If
the ambulance sirens stop by the time I get around the
corner, she thought, Maya will be okay.
But then the ambulance pulled to a stop in front of Maya’s
212
house. The sirens were still roaring. Police cars were everywhere.
‘No,’ Emily whispered. White-coated medics got out of
the vehicle and ran for the house. A ton of people littered
Maya’s yard, some with cameras. Emily threw her bike at the
curb and ran crookedly toward the house.
‘Emily!’
Maya burst through the crowd. Emily gasped, then ran
into Maya’s arms, tears messily running down her face.
‘You’re okay.’ Emily sobbed. ‘I was afraid—’
‘I’m fine,’ Maya said.
But there was something in her voice that was clearly not
fine. Emily stood back. Maya’s eyes were red and watery.
Her mouth was drawn down nervously.
‘What is it?’ Emily asked. ‘What’s going on?’
Maya swallowed. ‘They found your friend.’
‘What?’ Emily stared at her, then at the scene on Maya’s
lawn. It was all so eerily familiar: the ambulance, the cop
cars, the crowds of people, the long-lensed cameras. A news
helicopter hovered overhead. This was exactly the same
scene as three years ago, when Ali went missing.
Emily stepped back out of Maya’s arms, grinning in disbelief.
She had been right!
Alison was back at her house, like nothing had ever happened.
‘I knew it!’ she whispered.
Maya took Emily’s hand. ‘They were digging for our
tennis court. My mom was there. She . . . saw her. I heard her
scream from my bedroom.’
Emily dropped her hand. ‘Wait. What?’
‘I tried to call you,’ Maya added.
Emily wrinkled her brow and stared back at Maya. Then
she looked at the twenty-strong team of cops. At Mrs. St.
Germain sobbing by the tire swing. At the POLICE LINE, DO
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NOT CROSS tape loops around the backyard. And then at the
van parked in the driveway. It said, ROSEWOOD PD MORGUE.
She had to read it six times for it to make sense. Her heart
sped up and suddenly she couldn’t breathe.
‘I don’t . . . understand,’ Emily sputtered, taking another
step back. ‘Who did they find?’
Maya looked at her sympathetically, her eyes shiny with
tears. ‘Your friend Alison,’ she whispered. ‘They just found
her body.’
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31
Hell Is Other People
Byron Montgomery took a big sip of coffee and shakily lit
his pipe. ‘They found her when they were excavating the
concrete slab in the DiLaurentises’ old backyard to put in a
tennis court.’
‘She was under the concrete,’ Ella jumped in. ‘They knew
it was her from the ring she was wearing. But they’re doing
DNA tests to make sure.’
It felt like a fist was pummeling Aria’s stomach. She
remembered Ali’s white-gold initialed ring. Ali’s parents had
gotten it for her at Tiffany’s when she was ten after she got
her tonsils out. Ali liked to wear it on her pinkie.
‘Why did they have to do DNA tests?’ Mike asked. ‘Was
she all decomposed?’
‘Michelangelo!’ Byron frowned. ‘That’s not a very sensitive
thing to say in front of your sister.’
Mike shrugged and jammed a piece of sour green-apple
Bubble Tape into his mouth. Aria sat opposite him, tears quietly
running down her cheeks, absentmindedly unraveling
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the edge of a rattan place mat. It was 2 P.M., and they were
sitting around the kitchen table.
‘I can handle it.’ Aria’s throat constricted. ‘ Was she
decomposed?’
Her parents looked at each other. ‘Well, yes,’ her father
said, scratching his chest through a little hole in his shirt.
‘Bodies break down pretty fast.’
‘Sick,’ Mike whispered.
Aria shut her eyes. Alison was dead. Her body was rotted.
Someone had probably killed her.
‘Sweetheart?’ Ella asked quietly, cupping her hand over
Aria’s. ‘Honey, are you all right?’
‘I don’t know,’ Aria murmured, trying not to start bawling
all over again.
‘Would you like a Xanax?’ Byron asked.
Aria shook her head.
‘ I’ll take a Xanax,’ Mike said quickly.
Aria nervously picked at the side of her thumb. Her body
felt hot and then cold. She didn’t know what to do or think.
The only person who she thought might make her feel better
was Ezra; she thought she could explain all of her feelings to
him. At the very least, he would let her curl up on his denim
futon and cry.
Scraping back her chair, she started for her room. Byron
and Ella exchanged glances and followed her to the spiral
staircase.
‘Sweetie?’ Ella asked. ‘What can we do?’
But Aria ignored them and pushed through her bedroom
door. Her room was a disaster. Aria hadn’t cleaned
since she’d moved back from Iceland, and she wasn’t the
neatest girl in the world to start with. Her clothes were all
over the floor in unorganized piles. On her bed were CDs,
sequins she was using to make a beaded hat, poster paints,
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playing cards, Pigtunia, line drawings of Ezra’s profile,
several skeins of yarn. The carpet had a big, red candle
wax stain on it. She searched in the covers of her bed and
on the surface of her desk for her Treo – she needed it to
call Ezra. But it wasn’t there. She checked the green bag
she’d taken to the party last night, but her phone wasn’t in
that, either.
Then she remembered. After she received that text, she’d
dropped the phone like it was poisonous. She must have left
it behind.
She stormed down the stairs. Her parents were still on the
landing.
‘I’m taking the car,’ she mumbled, grabbing the keys off
the ring by the foyer table.
‘Okay,’ her father said.
‘Take your time,’ her mother added.
Someone had propped the front door to Ezra’s house open
with a large metal sculpture of a terrier. Aria stepped
around it and walked inside the hallway. She knocked on
Ezra’s door. She had the same feeling she did when she had
to pee really badly – it might be torture, but you knew that
very soon, you were going to feel a whole hell of a lot
better.
Ezra flung open the door. As soon as he saw her, he tried
to shut it again.
‘Wait,’ Aria squeaked, her voice still filled with tears. Ezra
retreated into his kitchen, his back to her. She followed him in.
Ezra whirled around to face her. He was unshaven and
looked exhausted. ‘What are you doing here?’
Aria chewed on her lip. ‘I’m here to see you. I got some
news . . .’ Her Treo sat on his sideboard. She picked it up.
‘Thanks. You found it.’
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Ezra glared at the Treo. ‘Okay, you got it. Can you leave
now?’
‘What’s going on?’ She walked toward him. ‘I got this
news. I had to see—’
‘Yeah, I got some news too,’ he interrupted. Ezra moved
away from her. ‘Seriously, Aria. I can’t . . . I can’t even look
at you.’
Tears sprang to her eyes. ‘What?’ Aria stared at him, confused.
Ezra lowered his eyes. ‘I found what you said about me on
your cell phone.’
Aria wrinkled her eyebrows. ‘My cell phone?’
Ezra raised his head. His eyes flashed with anger. ‘Do you
think I’m stupid? Was this all just a game? A dare?’
‘What are you . . . ?’
Ezra sighed angrily. ‘Well, you know what? You got me.
Okay? I’m the brunt of your big joke. You happy? Now get
out.’
‘I don’t understand,’ Aria said loudly.
Ezra slapped his palm against the wall. The force of it
made Aria jump. ‘Don’t play dumb! I’m not some boy,
Aria!’
Aria’s whole body started to tremble. ‘I swear to God, I
don’t know what you’re talking about. Can you explain,
please? I’m kind of falling apart here!’
Ezra took his hand off the wall and started to pace around
the tiny room. ‘Fine. After you left, I tried to sleep. There
was this . . . this beeping. You know what it was?’ He
pointed to the Treo. ‘Your cell phone thing. The only way to
shut it up was to open your text messages.’
Aria wiped her eyes.
Ezra crossed his arms over his chest. ‘Shall I quote them
for you?’
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Then Aria realized. The text messages. ‘Wait! No! You
don’t understand!’
Ezra trembled. ‘ Student-teacher conference? Extra credit?
This sound familiar?’
‘No, Ezra,’ Aria stammered. ‘You don’t understand.’ The
world was spinning. Aria gripped the edge of Ezra’s kitchen
table.
‘I’m waiting,’ Ezra said.
‘This friend of mine was killed,’ she began. ‘They just
found her body.’ Aria opened her mouth to say more, but
couldn’t find the words. Ezra stood at the farthest point in
the room from her, behind the bathtub.
‘It’s all so silly,’ Aria said. ‘Can you please come over here?
Can you at least hug me?’
Ezra crossed his arms over his chest and looked down. He
stood that way for what felt like a long time. ‘I really liked you,’ he final y said, his voice thick.
Aria choked back a sob. ‘I really like you, too . . .’ She
walked over to him.
But Ezra stepped away. ‘No. You have to get out of here.’
‘But . . .’
Ezra clapped his hand over her mouth. ‘Please,’ he said a
little desperately. ‘ Please leave.’
Aria widened her eyes and her heart started to pound.
Alarms went off in her head. This felt . . . wrong. On
impulse, she bit down into Ezra’s hand.
‘What the fuck?’ he shrieked, pulling away.
Aria stood back, dazed. Blood dripped out of Ezra’s hand
onto the floor.
‘You’re insane!’ Ezra cried.
Aria breathed heavily. She couldn’t speak even if she
wanted to. So she turned and ran for the door. As her hand
turned the doorknob, something screamed past her, bounced
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off the wall, and landed next to her foot. It was a copy of
Being and Nothingness, by Jean-Paul Sartre. Aria turned
back to Ezra, her mouth open in shock.
‘Get out!’ Ezra boomed.
Aria slammed the door behind her. She tore down across
the lawn as fast as her legs would carry her.
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32
A Fallen Star
The next day, Spencer stood at her old bedroom window,
smoking a Marlboro and looking across her lawn into
Alison’s old bedroom. It was dark and empty. Then, her eyes
moved to the DiLaurentises’ yard. The flashing lights hadn’t
stopped since they found her.
The police had put up DO NOT CROSS tape all around the
concrete area of Alison’s old backyard, even though they had
already removed her body from the ground. They’d put huge
tents around the area while doing that, too, so Spencer
hadn’t seen anything. Not that she’d have wanted to. It was
beyond awful to think that Ali’s body had been next door to
her, rotting in the ground for three years. Spencer remembered
the construction before Ali disappeared. They dug the
hole right around the night she went missing. She knew, too,
that they’d filled it after Ali disappeared but wasn’t sure
when. Someone had just dumped her there.
She stubbed out her Marlboro in the brick siding of her
house and turned back to Lucky magazine. She’d hardly
exchanged a word with her family since yesterday’s confrontation
and she’d been trying to calm herself down by
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going methodically through it and marking everything she
wanted to buy with the magazine’s little YES stickers. As she
looked at a page on tweed blazers, though, her eyes glazed
over.
She couldn’t even talk to her parents about this. Yesterday,
after they confronted her at breakfast, Spencer had wandered
outside to see what the sirens were all about – ambulances
still made her nervous, from both The Jenna Thing and Ali’s
disappearance. As she walked across her lawn to the
DiLaurentis house, she sensed something and turned back.
Her parents had come out to see what was going on too.
When they saw her turn, they quickly looked away. The
police told her to stand back, that this area was off limits.
Then Spencer saw the morgue van. One of the policeman’s
walkie-talkies crackled, ‘Alison.’
Her body had grown very cold. The world spun. Spencer
slumped down on the grass. Someone spoke to her, but she
couldn’t understand him. ‘You’re in shock,’ she finally heard.
‘Just try to calm down.’ Spencer’s field of vision was so
narrow, she wasn’t sure who it was – only that it wasn’t her
mom or dad. The guy came back with a blanket and told her
to sit there for a while and keep warm.
Once Spencer felt well enough to get up, whoever had
helped her was gone. Her parents had left too. They hadn’t
even bothered to see if she was okay.
She’d spent the rest of Saturday and most of Sunday in her
room, only going out into the hall to the bathroom when she
knew no one else was around. She hoped someone would
come up and check on her, but when she heard a small, tentative
knock on her door earlier this afternoon, Spencer
didn’t answer. She wasn’t sure why. She listened to whoever
it was sigh and pad back down the hall.
And then, only a half hour ago, Spencer had watched her
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dad’s Jaguar back out of the driveway and turn toward the
main road. Her mom was in the passenger seat; Melissa was
in the back. She had no idea where they were going.
She slumped down in her computer chair and pulled up
that first e-mail from A, the one talking about coveting
things she couldn’t have. After reading it a few times, she
clicked REPLY. Slowly she typed, Are you Alison?
She hesitated before hitting SEND. Were all the police lights
making her trippy? Dead girls didn’t have Hotmail accounts.
Nor did they have Instant Messenger screen names. Spencer
had to get a grip – someone was pretending to be Ali. But
who?
She stared up at the Mondrian mobile she’d bought last
year at the Philadelphia Art Museum. Then she heard a plink
sound. There it was again.
Plink.
It sounded really close, actually. Like at her window.
Spencer sat up just as a pebble hit her window again.
Someone was throwing rocks.
A?
As another rock hit, she went to the window – and
gasped. On the lawn was Wren. The blue and red lights from
the police cars kept making streaky shadows across his
cheeks. When he saw her, he broke into a huge smile.
Immediately, she bolted downstairs, not caring how horrible
her hair looked or that she was wearing marinara-stained
Kate Spade pajama pants. Wren ran for her as she came out
the door. He threw his arms around her and kissed her
scruffy head.
‘You’re not supposed to be here,’ she murmured.
‘I know.’ He stood back. ‘But I noticed your parents’ car
was gone, so . . .’
She pushed her hand through his soft hair. Wren looked
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exhausted. What if he had to sleep in his little Toyota last
night?
‘How did you know I’d be back in my old room?’
He shrugged. ‘A hunch. I also thought I saw your face at
the window. I wanted to come earlier, but there was . . . all
that.’ He gestured to the police cars and random news vans
next door. ‘You okay?’
‘Yeah,’ Spencer answered. She tilted her head up to Wren’s
mouth and bit her chapped lip to keep from crying. ‘Are you
okay?’
‘Me? Sure.’
‘Do you have somewhere to live?’
‘I can stay on a friend’s couch until I find something. Not
a big deal.’
If only Spencer could stay on a friend’s couch too. Then
something occurred to her. ‘Are you and Melissa over?’
Wren cupped her face in his hand and sighed. ‘Of course,’
he said softly. ‘It was kind of obvious. With Melissa, it
wasn’t like . . .’
He trailed off, but Spencer thought she knew what he was
going to say. It wasn’t like being with you. She smiled shakily and laid her head against his chest. His heart thumped in
her ear.
She looked over at the DiLaurentis house. Someone had
started a little shrine to Alison on the curb, complete with
pictures and Virgin Mary candles. In the center were little
alphabet magnet letters that spelled Ali. Spencer herself had
propped up a smiling picture of Alison in a tight blue Von
Dutch T-shirt and spanking new Sevens. She remembered
when she’d taken that picture: They were in sixth grade, and
it was the night of the Rosewood Winter Formal. The five of
them had spied on Melissa as Ian picked her up. Spencer had
gotten hiccups from laughing when Melissa, trying to make
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a grand entrance, tripped down the Hastingses’ front walk
on the way to the tacky rented Hummer limo. It was probably
their last really fun, carefree memory. The Jenna Thing
happened not too long after. Spencer glanced at Toby and
Jenna’s house. No one was home, as usual, but it still made
her shiver.
As she blotted her eyes with the back of her pale, thin
hand, one of the news vans drove by slowly, and a guy in a
red Phillies cap stared at her. She ducked. Now would not be
the time to capture some emotional-girl-breaks-down-at-thetragedy
footage.
‘You’d better go.’ She sniffed and turned back to Wren.
‘It’s so crazy here. And I don’t know when my parents will be
back.’
‘All right.’ He tilted her head up. ‘But can we see each
other again?’
Spencer swallowed, and tried to smile. As she did, Wren
bent down and kissed her, wrapping one hand around the
back of her neck and the other around the very spot on her
lower back that, just Friday, hurt like hell.
Spencer broke away from him. ‘I don’t even have your
number.’
‘Don’t worry,’ Wren whispered. ‘I’ll call you.’
Spencer stood out on the edge of her vast yard for a
moment, watching Wren walk to his car. As he drove away,
her eyes stung with tears again. If only she had someone to
talk to – someone who wasn’t banned from her house. She
glanced back at the Ali shrine and wondered how her old
friends were dealing with this.
As Wren pulled to the end of her street, Spencer noticed
another car’s headlights turn in. She froze. Was that her parents?
Had they seen Wren?
The headlights inched closer. Suddenly, Spencer realized
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who it was. The sky was a dark purple, but she could just
make out Andrew Campbell’s longish hair.
She gasped, ducking behind her mother’s rosebushes.
Andrew slowly pulled his Mini up to her mailbox, opened it,
slid something in, and neatly closed it again. He drove away.
She waited until he was gone before sprinting out to the
curb and wrenching open the mailbox. Andrew had left her
a folded-up piece of notepaper.
Hey, Spencer. I didn’t know if you were taking any calls. I’m
really sorry about Alison. I hope my blanket helped you yesterday.
—Andrew
Spencer turned up her driveway, reading and rereading the
note. She stared at the slanty boy handwriting. Blanket?
What blanket?
Then she realized. It was Andrew who helped her?
She crumpled up the note in her hands and started sobbing
all over again.
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33
Rosewood’s Finest
‘Police have reopened the DiLaurentis case, and are in the
process of questioning witnesses,’ a newscaster on the eleveno’clock news reported. ‘The DiLaurentis family, now living
in Maryland, will have to face something they’ve tried to put
behind them. Except now, there is closure.’
Newscasters were such drama queens, Hanna thought
angrily as she shoved another handful of Cheez-Its in her
mouth. Only the news could find a way to make a horrible
story worse. The camera stayed focused on the Ali shrine, as
they called it, the candles, Beanie Babies, wilted flowers
people no doubt just picked out of neighbors’ gardens,
marshmallow Peeps – Ali’s favorite candy – and of course
photos.
The camera cut to Alison’s mother, whom Hanna hadn’t
seen in a while. Besides her teary face, Mrs. DiLaurentis
looked pretty – with a shaggy haircut and dangly chandelier
earrings.
‘We’ve decided to have a service for Alison in Rosewood,
which was the only home Ali knew,’ Mrs. DiLaurentis said in
a controlled voice. ‘We want to thank all of those who
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helped search for our daughter three years ago for their
enduring support.’
The newscaster came back on the screen. ‘A memorial will
be held tomorrow at the Rosewood Abbey and will be open
to the public.’
Hanna clicked off the TV. It was Sunday night. She sat
on her living room couch, dressed in her rattiest C&C Tshirt
and a pair of Calvin Klein boxer briefs she’d pilfered
out of Sean’s top drawer. Her long brown hair was messy
and strawlike around her face and she was pretty sure she
had a pimple on her forehead. A huge bowl of Cheez-Its
rested in her lap, an empty Klondike wrapper was crumpled
up on the coffee table, and a bottle of pinot noir was
wedged snugly at her side. She’d been trying all night not to
eat like this but, well, her willpower just wasn’t very strong
today.
She clicked the TV back on, wishing she had someone to
talk to . . . about the police, about A, and mostly about
Alison. Sean was out, for obvious reasons. Her mom – who
was on a date right now – was her usual useless self. After
the hubbub of activity at the police station yesterday,
Wilden told Hanna and her mother to go home; they’d deal
with her later, since the police had more important things to
attend to at the moment. Neither Hanna nor her mom knew
what was happening at the station, only that it involved a
murder.
On the drive home, instead of Ms. Marin reprimanding
Hanna for, oh, stealing a car and driving piss-drunk, she
told Hanna that she ‘was taking care of it.’ Hanna didn’t
have a clue what that meant. Last year, a cop had spoken at
a Rosewood Day assembly about how Pennsylvania had a
‘zero tolerance’ rule for drunk drivers under twenty-one. At
the time, Hanna had paid attention only because she
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thought the cop was sort of hot, but now his words haunted
her.
Hanna couldn’t rely on Mona, either: She was still at that
golf tournament in Florida. They’d spoken briefly on the
phone, and Mona had admitted the police had called her
about Sean’s car, but she’d played dumb, saying she’d been
at the party the whole time and Hanna had been too. And
the lucky bitch: They’d gotten the back of her head on the
Wawa surveillance tape, but not her face, since she’d been
wearing that disgusting delivery hat. That was yesterday,
though, after Hanna got back from the police station. She
and Mona hadn’t talked today, and they hadn’t discussed
Alison yet.
And then . . . there was A . Or if A was Alison, would A be
gone now? But the police said Alison had been dead for
years . . .
As Hanna scanned the guide feature on TV for what else
was on, her eyelids swollen with tears, she considered calling
her father – this story might be on the Annapolis-area news,
too. Or maybe he’d call her? She picked up the silent phone
to make sure it was still working.
She sighed. The problem with being Mona’s best friend
was that they had no other friends. Watching all this Ali
footage made her think of her old group of friends. They’d
had their rocky, horrible moments together, but they used to
have a lot of fun, too. In a parallel universe, they’d all be
together now, remembering Ali and laughing even though
they were crying, too. But in this dimension, they’d grown
too far apart.
They’d split up for valid reasons, of course – things had
started to go rotten way before Ali went missing. In the
beginning, when they were doing that charity drive stuff, it
was wonderful. But then, after The Jenna Thing happened,
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things got tense. They were all so afraid that what happened
to Jenna could be linked to them. Hanna remembered being
jumpy even when she was on the bus and a cop car would
pass by them, going in the other direction. Then, that next
winter and spring, whole topics were suddenly off-limits.
Someone was always saying, ‘Shhh!’ and then they all fell
into an uncomfortable silence.
The eleven-o’clock newscasters signed off and The
Simpsons came on. Hanna picked up her BlackBerry. She still
knew Spencer’s number by heart, and it probably wouldn’t
be too late to call. As she dialed the second digit, she cocked
her ear, her Tiffany earrings jangling. There was a scratching
noise at the door.
Dot, who had been lying by her feet, picked up his head
and growled. Hanna took the Cheez-It bowl off her lap and
stood.
Was it . . . A?
Knees shaking, Hanna crept into the hall. There were
long, dark shadows at the back door, and the scratching
noise had grown louder. ‘Oh my God,’ Hanna whispered,
her chin trembling. Someone was trying to get in!
Hanna looked around. There was a round jade paperweight
on the little hall table. It had to weigh at least twenty
pounds. She heaved it up and took three tentative steps for
the kitchen door.
Suddenly, the door burst open. Hanna jumped back. A
woman stumbled through the entranceway. Her tasteful,
gray pleated skirt was up around her waist. Hanna held up
the paperweight, about to throw it.
Then she realized. It was her mom.
Ms. Marin bumped into the telephone table as if she were
wasted. Some guy was behind her, trying to unzip her skirt
and kiss her at the same time. Hanna’s eyes widened.
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Darren Wilden. Mr. April.
So that was what her mom meant by ‘taking care of it’?
Hanna’s stomach clenched. No doubt she looked a little
insane, tenaciously clutching the paperweight. Ms. Marin
gave Hanna a very long look, not even bothering to turn
away from Wilden.
Her mother’s eyes said, I’m doing this for you.
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34
Fancy Meeting You Here
On Monday morning, instead of sitting in first-period bio,
Emily stood next to her parents in the high-ceilinged,
marble-floored nave of Rosewood Abbey. She tugged
uncomfortably at the black, pleated, too-short Gap skirt
she’d found in the back of her closet and tried to smile. Mrs.
DiLaurentis stood in the doorway, clad in a cowl-neck black
dress, heels, and tiny freshwater pearls. She walked up to
Emily and engulfed her in a hug.
‘Oh, Emily,’ Mrs. DiLaurentis sobbed.
‘I’m so sorry,’ Emily whispered back, her own eyes watering.
Mrs. DiLaurentis still wore the same perfume – Coco
Chanel. It instantly brought back all kinds of memories: A
million rides to and from the mall in Mrs. DiLaurentis’s
Infiniti, sneaking into her bathroom to steal TrimSpa tablets
and to experiment with her expensive La Prairie makeup,
going through her enormous, walk-in closet and trying on all
her sexy size-2 black Dior cocktail dresses.
Other kids from Rosewood streamed around them, trying
to find seats in the high-backed wooden pews. Emily hadn’t
known what to expect at Alison’s memorial service. The
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abbey smelled like incense and wood. Simple cylinder-shaped
lamps hung from the ceiling, and the altar was covered with
a billion white tulips. Tulips were Alison’s favorite flower.
Emily remembered Ali helped her mom plant rows of them
in their front yard every year.
Alison’s mom finally stood back and wiped her eyes. ‘I
want you to sit up in the front, with all of Ali’s friends. Is
that okay, Kathleen?’
Emily’s mom nodded. ‘Of course.’
Emily listened to every click of Mrs. DiLaurentis’s heels
and the shuffling of her own chunky loafers as they walked
down the aisle. Suddenly it hit Emily why she was here
again. Ali was dead.
Emily clutched Mrs. DiLaurentis’s arm. ‘Oh my God.’ Her
field of vision narrowed, and she heard a waaaah noise in
her ears, the sign that she was about to faint.
Mrs. DiLaurentis held her upright. ‘It’s okay. Come on. Sit
down here.’
Dizzily, Emily slid into the pew. ‘Put your head between
your legs,’ she heard a familiar voice say.
Then another familiar voice snorted. ‘Say it louder, so all
the boys can hear.’
Emily looked up. Next to her were Aria and Hanna. Aria
wore a blue, purple, and fuchsia-striped cotton boat-neck
dress, a navy velvet jacket, and cowboy boots. It was so
Aria – she was the type who thought wearing some color to
funerals celebrated the living. Hanna, on the other hand,
wore a skimpy black V-neck dress and black stockings.
‘Dear, can you move over?’
Above her, Mrs. DiLaurentis stood with Spencer Hastings,
who wore a charcoal suit and ballet flats.
‘Hey, guys,’ Spencer said to all of them, in that buttery
voice Emily had missed. She sat down next to Emily.
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‘So, we meet again,’ Aria said, smiling.
Silence. Emily peeked at all of them out of the corner of
her eye. Aria was fidgeting with a silver ring on her thumb,
Hanna was fumbling around in her purse, and Spencer was
sitting very still, staring at the altar.
‘Poor Ali,’ Spencer murmured.
The girls sat quietly for a few minutes. Emily wracked her
brain for something to say. Her ears filled with the waaaah
sound again.
She twisted around to scan the crowd for Maya, and her
eyes landed square on Ben’s. He was sitting in the second-tolast
row with the rest of the swimmers. Emily lifted her hand
in a tiny wave. Next to this, the party stuff seemed petty.
But instead of waving back, Ben glared at her, his thin
mouth in a stubborn, straight line. Then he looked away.
O kay.
Emily swung back around. Rage filled her body. My old best
friend was just found murdered, she wanted to scream. And
we’re in a church, for God’s sake! What about forgiveness?
Then it hit her. She didn’t want him to take her back. Not
one bit.
Aria tapped her on the leg. ‘You okay after Saturday
morning? I mean, you didn’t even know yet, right?’
‘No, it was something else, but I’m okay,’ Emily answered,
even though that wasn’t true.
‘Spencer.’ Hanna’s head popped up. ‘I, um, I saw you at
the mall recently.’
Spencer looked at Hanna. ‘Huh?’
‘You were . . . you were going into Kate Spade.’ Hanna
looked down. ‘I don’t know. I was going to say hi. But, um,
I’m glad you don’t have to order those purses from New
York anymore.’ She put her head down and blushed, as if
she’d said too much.
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Emily was startled – she hadn’t seen Hanna make that
expression in years.
Spencer’s brow crinkled. Then, a sad, tender look came
over her face. She swallowed hard and looked down.
‘Thanks,’ she murmured. Her shoulders started to shake and
she squeezed her eyes shut. Emily felt her own throat choking
up. She’d never actually seen Spencer cry.
Aria put her hand on Spencer’s shoulder. ‘It’s okay,’ she
said.
‘Sorry,’ Spencer said, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. ‘I
just . . .’ She glanced around at all of them and then started
crying even harder.
Emily hugged her. It felt a little awkward, but by the way
Spencer squeezed her hand, Emily could tell she appreciated
it.
When they sat back, Hanna pulled a tiny silver flask out
of her bag and reached over Emily to pass it to Spencer.
‘Here,’ she whispered.
Without even smelling it or asking what it was, Spencer
took a huge swallow. She winced but said, ‘Thanks.’
She passed the flask back to Hanna, who drank and
handed it to Emily. Emily took a sip, which burned in her
chest, then passed it to Aria. Before drinking, Aria pulled on
Spencer’s sleeve.
‘This’ll make you feel better too.’ Aria tugged down the
shoulder of her dress to reveal a white knitted bra strap.
Emily immediately recognized it – Aria had knitted heavy
woolen bras for all the girls in seventh grade. ‘I wore it for
old time’s sake,’ Aria whispered. ‘It’s itching like hell.’
Spencer sputtered out a laugh. ‘Oh my God.’
‘You’re such a spaz,’ Hanna added, grinning.
‘I could never wear mine, remember?’ Emily chimed in.
‘My mom thought it was too sexy for school!’
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‘Yeah.’ Spencer giggled. ‘If you can call scratching your
boobs all day sexy.’
The girls snickered. Suddenly, Aria’s cell phone buzzed.
She reached into her bag and looked at the phone’s screen.
‘What?’ Aria looked up, realizing they were all staring at
her.
Hanna fiddled with her charm bracelet. ‘Did you, um, just
get a text message?’
‘Yeah. So?’
‘Who was it?’
‘It was my mom,’ Aria answered slowly. ‘Why?’
Low pipe organ music began to lilt through the church.
Behind them, more kids shuffled in quietly. Spencer glanced
nervously at Emily. Emily’s heart started to pound.
‘Never mind,’ Hanna said. ‘That was nosy.’
Aria licked her lips. ‘Wait. Seriously. Why? ’
Hanna’s adam’s apple rose with a nervous swallow. ‘I . . .
I just thought maybe strange things had been happening to
you, too.’
Aria’s mouth fell open. ‘Strange is an understatement.’
Emily clutched her arms around herself.
‘Wait. You guys, too?’ Spencer whispered.
Hanna nodded. ‘Texts?’
‘E-mails,’ Spencer said.
‘About . . . stuff from seventh?’ Aria whispered.
‘Are you guys serious?’ Emily squeaked.
The friends stared at each other. But before anyone could
say anything else, the somber-sounding pipe organ filled the
room.
Emily turned around. A bunch of people were walking
slowly up the center aisle. It was Ali’s mom and dad, her
brother, her grandparents, and some others who must’ve
been relatives. Two redheaded boys were the last to come
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down the aisle; Emily recognized them as Sam and Russell,
Ali’s cousins. They used to visit Ali’s family every summer.
Emily hadn’t seen them in years, and wondered if they were
still as gullible as they used to be.
The family members slid into the front row and waited for
the music to stop.
As Emily stared at them, she noticed movement. One of
the pimply, redheaded cousins was staring at them. Emily
was pretty sure it was the one named Sam – he’d been the
geekier of the two. He stared at all the girls and then slowly
and flirtatiously raised an eyebrow. Emily quickly looked
away.
She felt Hanna jab her in the ribs. ‘Not it,’ Hanna whispered
to the girls.
Emily looked at her, puzzled, but then Hanna motioned
with her eyes to the two gangly cousins.
All the girls caught on at the same time. ‘Not it,’ Emily,
Spencer, and Aria said at once.
They all giggled. But then Emily paused, considering what
‘not it ’ really meant. She’d never thought about it before, but it was kind of mean. When she looked around, she noticed
her friends had stopped laughing too. They all exchanged a
look.
‘I guess it was funnier back then,’ Hanna said quietly.
Emily sat back. Maybe Ali didn’t know everything. Yes,
this might have been the worst day of her life, and she was
horribly devastated about Ali, and completely freaked about
A. But for a moment, she felt okay. Sitting here with her old
friends seemed like the tiny beginning of something.
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35
Just You Wait
The organ started up again with its dreary music, and Ali’s
brother and the others filed out of the church. Spencer, tipsy
from a few slugs of whiskey, noticed that her three old
friends had stood up and were filing out of the pew, and she
figured she should go, too.
Everyone from Rosewood Day hung out at the back of the
church, from the lacrosse boys to the video game-obsessed
geeks who Ali no doubt would have teased back in seventh.
Old Mr. Yew – the one in charge of the Rosewood Day charity
drive – stood in the corner, talking quietly to Mr. Kaplan,
who taught art. Even Ali’s older JV field hockey friends had
returned from their respective colleges; they stood in a teary
huddle near the door. Spencer scanned the familiar faces,
remembering all the people she used to know and didn’t anymore.
And then, she saw a dog – a seeing-eye dog.
Oh my God.
Spencer grabbed Aria’s arm. ‘By the exit,’ she hissed.
Aria squinted. ‘Is that . . . ?’
‘Jenna,’ Hanna murmured.
‘And Toby,’ Spencer added.
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Emily turned pale. ‘What are they doing here?’
Spencer was too stunned to answer. They looked the same
but totally different. His hair was long now, and she was . . .
gorgeous, with long black hair and wearing big Gucci sunglasses.
Toby, Jenna’s brother, caught Spencer staring. A sour, disgusted
look settled over his face. Spencer quickly jerked her
eyes away.
‘I can’t believe he showed up,’ she whispered, too quietly
for the others to hear.
By the time the girls reached the heavy wooden doors
that led to the church’s crumbling stone steps, Toby and
Jenna were gone. Spencer squinted in the sunlight of the
brilliant, perfectly blue sky. It was one of those lovely earlyfall
days with no humidity, where you were dying to skip
school, lie in a field, and not think about your responsibilities.
Why was it always on days like this that something
horrible happened?
Someone touched her shoulder and Spencer jumped. It
was a blond burly cop. She motioned for Hanna, Aria, and
Emily to go on without her.
‘Are you Spencer Hastings?’ he asked.
She nodded dumbly.
The cop wrung his enormous hands together. ‘I’m very
sorry for your loss,’ he said. ‘You were good friends with
Ms. DiLaurentis, right?’
‘Thanks. Yeah, I was.’
‘I’m going to need to talk with you.’ The cop reached into
his pocket. ‘Here’s my card. We’re reopening the case. Since
you were friends, you might be able to help us. Is it okay if I
come by in a couple of days?’
‘Um, sure,’ Spencer stammered. ‘Whatever I can do.’
Zombielike, she caught up with her old friends, who’d
239
gathered under a weeping willow. ‘What did he want?’ Aria
asked.
‘They want to talk to me, too,’ Emily said quickly. ‘It’s not
a big deal though, is it?’
‘I’m sure it’s the same old stuff,’ Hanna said.
‘He couldn’t be wondering about . . . ,’ Aria started. She
looked nervously to the church’s front door, where Toby,
Jenna, and her dog had stood.
‘No,’ Emily said quickly. ‘We couldn’t get in trouble for
that now, could we?’
They all glanced at each other worriedly.
‘Of course not,’ Hanna finally said.
Spencer looked around at everyone talking quietly on the
lawn. She felt sick after seeing Toby, and she hadn’t seen
Jenna since the accident. But it was a coincidence that the
cop had spoken to her right after she’d seen them, right?
Spencer quickly pulled out her emergency cigarettes and lit
up. She needed something to do with her hands.
I’ll tell everyone about The Jenna Thing.
You’re just as guilty as I am.
But no one saw me.
Spencer nervously exhaled and scanned the crowd. There
wasn’t any proof. End of story. Unless . . .
‘This has been the worst week of my life,’ Aria said suddenly.
‘Mine too.’ Hanna nodded.
‘I guess we can look on the bright side,’ Emily said, her
voice high-pitched and jittery. ‘It can’t get any worse than
this.’
As they followed the procession out to the gravel parking
lot, Spencer stopped. Her old friends stopped too. Spencer
wanted to say something to them – not about Ali or A or
Jenna or Toby or the police, but instead, more than anything,
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she wanted to tell them that she’d missed them all these
years.
But before she could say it, Aria’s phone rang.
‘Hang on . . . ,’ Aria muttered, rooting around in her bag
for her phone. ‘It’s probably my mom again.’
Then, Spencer’s Sidekick vibrated. And rang. And chirped.
It wasn’t just her phone, but her friends’ phones too. The
sudden, high-pitched noises sounded even louder against the
sober, silent funeral procession. The other mourners shot
them dirty looks. Aria held hers up to silence it; Emily struggled
to operate her Nokia. Spencer wrenched her phone out
of her clutch’s pocket.
Hanna read her screen. ‘I have one new message.’
‘I do too,’ Aria whispered.
‘Same,’ Emily echoed.
Spencer saw she did, too. Everyone hit READ. A moment of
stunned silence passed.
‘Oh my God,’ Aria whispered.
‘It’s from . . . ,’ Hanna squeaked.
Aria murmured, ‘Do you think she means . . .’
Spencer swallowed hard. In tandem, the girls read their
texts out loud. Each said the exact same thing:
I’m still here, bitches. And I know everything. —A
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Acknowledgments
I owe a lot to a great group of people at Alloy Entertainment.
I’ve known them for years and without them, this book could
never have happened. Josh Bank, for being hilarious, magnetic,
and brilliant . . . and for giving me a chance years ago despite
the fact that I so rudely crashed his company Christmas party.
Ben Schrank, for encouraging me to do this project in the first
place and for his invaluable writing advice. Of course Les
Morgenstein, for believing in me. And my fantastic editor, Sara
Shandler, for her friendship and dedicated help in shaping this
novel.
I’m grateful to Elise Howard and Kristin Marang at
HarperCollins for their support, insight, and enthusiasm.
And huge thanks to Jennifer Rudolph Walsh at William
Morris for all the magical things she made happen.
Thanks also to Doug and Fran Wilkens for a great
summer in Pennsylvania. I’m grateful to Colleen McGarry,
for reminding me of our junior high and high school inside
jokes, especially those about our fictitious band whose
name I won’t mention. Thanks to my parents, Bob and
Mindy Shepard, for their help with sticky plot points and
for encouraging me to be myself, however weird that
242
might be. And I don’t know what I’d do without my sister,
Ali, who agrees that Icelandic boys are pussies who ride
small, gay horses and is okay with a certain character in this
book being named after her.
And finally, thanks to my husband, Joel, for being loving,
silly, and patient, and also for reading every draft of this
book (happily!) and offering good advice – proof that boys
might just understand more about girls’ inner struggles than
we think.
243
What Happens Next . . .
I bet you thought I was Alison, didn’t you? Well, sorry, but I’m
not. Duh. She’s dead.
Nope, I’m very much alive . . . and I’m very, very close.
And for a certain clique of four pretty girls, the fun has just
started. Why? ’Cause I say so.
Naughty behavior deserves punishment, after all. And
Rosewood’s finest deserve to know that Aria’s been doing
some extra-credit smooching with her English teacher, don’t
they? Not to mention the nasty family secret she’s been hiding
for years. The girl is a train wreck.
While I’m at it, I really ought to tip Emily’s parents off to
the reason she’s been acting funny lately. Hey there, Mr. and
Mrs. Fields, nice weather, huh? And by the way, your daughter
likes kissing girls.
Then there’s Hanna. Poor Hanna. Just free-falling into
dorkdom. She may try to claw her way back to the top, but
244
don’t worry – I’ll be there waiting to knock her rapidly
growing behind back into a pair of stonewashed mom-jeans.
Oh my god, I almost forgot Spencer. She’s a total mess!
After all, her family thinks she’s a completely worthless
skank. That’s gotta suck. And just between us, it’s about to
get much worse. Spencer’s keeping a deep, dark secret that
could pretty much ruin all four of their lives. But who would
tell such an awful secret? Oh, I don’t know. Take a wild
guess.
Bingo.
Life’s so much fun when you know everything.
Just how do I know so much? You’re probably dying to
know, aren’t you? Well, relax. All in due time.
Believe me, I’d love to tell you. But what’s the fun in that?
I’ll be watching. —A
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Becca Reinhart’s life is work, work, work. The youngest ever
partner of Davis Capital, her job is her life and she has no
intention of being sidetracked from it, especially not by all
those, including her Jewish mother, who think that just
because she’s 31 she should be settling down.
When Edward Kirkland isn’t at his racquet club, attending
charity dinners or gala concerts, he’s being pursued by countless
women who consider him to be the most eligible bachelor in
town. But he has no desire to commit either, and his two dogs
are his only constant companions.
A more unlikely pair you couldn’t hope to meet, but when
Becca and Edward become joint guardians to a four-year-old
child called Emily, their lives collide with a bang . . .
978 0 7515 3483 2
Elle Wood, University of Southern California sorority president
and socio-political jewellery design major, is blonde, spoiled,
creative and desperately in love with her college sweetheart,
Warner Huntingdon III. But when Warner announces he’s
dumping her to go off to Stanford, Elle decides that a little thing
like law school won’t come between them. Anything Warner
can do, she can do better.
Elle’s Stanford misadventures begin badly, and it seems the one
place where blondes definitely don’t have more fun is law school.
But then Elle’s asked to defend one-time fitness queen Brooke
Vandermark on a murder charge. Seizing the opportunity to
prove her worth to Warner and her fellow classmates, she
vindicates all who are blonde with a tip any Cosmo girl should
know.