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The best way to have a friend is to be one
Having good friends while growing up and even when you're grown up is very important. It's where we learn how to relate and communicate to others. It's also where we learn about ourselves. Haven’t we heard the famous saying a friend in need is a friend indeed? But Friendship has much more to it. Friendship is an integral part of human existence. Though true friendships can start instantly it takes time to build and develop. If you are wondering why you don't seem to have any good friends, you should probably have a look at yourself.
So, when looking at how to pick better friends, the first thing you should do is ask yourself what kind of a friend you are, and what type of qualities are in a good friend. Let's start with a list of qualities I want in a good friend.
What qualities I want in a friend:
Characteristics of a Good Friend.
1. Accepts you as you are: A good friend is someone who does not try to be somebody that he is not and accepts you as you are. They are also patient with you when you make mistakes and forgive you when you hurt them.
2. Dependable: A good friend is dependable and you can trust your friend with your secrets and know that he would not let a third person know about it. He sticks with you in good times and bad. When you ask for advice, a good friend points out the right direction.
3. Honest: A good friend would be honest and loyal with you. He does not break the promises that he made to you. He makes you feel safe and secure with him. He is your true critic. You will find many who falsely appreciate you and your work to remain in good books. A good friend will tell you the truth even if it's something you don't want to hear. He will point out your mistakes in private and not in front of others and also help overcome it.
4. Listen to you: A good friend always listens to you and cares about your needs and emotions. A good friend would be there always when you need to talk. When you have news to share or grievances he gives you full attention.
5. Be there for you: A good friend would be there with you through thick and thin. Good friends don’t call up people only to request a favor. But he would be the first person to come to your aid in time of crisis. He also does not allow you to indulge in any addiction or illicit activities.
6. Give you Space: A good friend respects your privacy. He understands that you have family, other friends and colleagues who are part of your life too and do not cling to you always. He builds trust and confidence which makes you comfortable enough to share your good and bad times with him.
7. Always in touch: Good friends don’t wait for you to call you. He always makes an effort to keep in touch with you even if it is through a quick phone call or an email. He knows what's going on in your life and is interested about it. A good friend also does not avoid even if they are busy and do not ignore your phone call or mails. A good friend makes it clear that they care about you.
8. Do not bad mouth you: A good friend does not bad mouth you or talk behind your back. A good friend is a friend you can trust and won't gossip about you or try to damage your reputation. They will let you know when they're concerned and do their best to stick up for you when you're in trouble. A good friend will also apologizes when he does something wrong. He does not keep grudges.
9. Happy for you: A good friend never gets jealous on your success but would be happy for you. He celebrates your success and his success with you. When you are down and needs support he would be there to support and care about you. An ideal friend has a sensitive side which would make them understand others feelings. They may not be able to read your mind, but chances are they can usually tell when you're happy, sad, excited, shocked or upset. A good friend will likely know how to lift your spirits and make your day.
10. Supportive: A good friend is supportive of you and your goals. He will know what makes you tick and help you become the person you want to be. They won't try to change who you are or drag you into situations that make you uncomfortable. When you are in a situation where you need to be defended he would be right there beside you.
11. Common Interests: A good friend is someone with whom you have something in common. He is fun to be with and he understands you and respects you.
12. Giving: Good friends give more than what is asked. When they see a need they respond before the other has a chance to ask without expecting anything in return and without anyone knowing about it. Good friends are generous with their time, money, possessions and knowledge. Best of all they have a generous spirit.
There is a saying that what you give is what you get back. The qualities you want in a friend should be the same that you are offering to someone else. How else can you expect to have good friends if you aren’t one yourself?
Now that we have a list of the qualities in a friend, ask yourself if these are qualities you have. It will be very difficult to bring in a good friend if you yourself cannot be one.